Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Look good, feel good.


God, I love my husband. I do because he absolutely loves me for me and puts up with every single drop of my crazy.


He is also treated to my awesomeness. But y'all already knew that. Ha.

Anyways. A couple of weeks ago I was having a bad day. Still reeling from this new normal and trying to manage not only myself but the life things that still keep happening regardless of what else is going on. Getting kids here and there. Trying not to look impatient as new readers read books to me and channeling patience while completing projects. All in the backdrop of a whole bunch of other swirling things like work and planning services and paying bills.


I usually don't have bad days. But the reason why this day was kind of bad-ish was actually a little simpler than you'd think. It wasn't the every day minutia, really. And honestly, though gut-wrenching, it wasn't the new normal logistics either. It was the combination of those things with one seemingly unimportant little thing.

I needed a haircut.


Horrible, I know. But in all of this upheaval, I had missed my appointment to see Sakinah not once, but twice. It certainly wasn't because she hadn't been trying to accommodate me. As a matter of fact, she called, texted, and even had others do the same. Telling me that she'd even come to my house if I needed her to--a simple offer that I will never, ever forget.

Anyways. That morning, I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was unruly, puffy and just. . . . yeah. So at that very moment, I picked up my phone and texted Sakinah, asking if she could fit me in that day.

"Of course," she replied. "Just call whenever you are ready."

And that was great. So my plan was to go in the afternoon because I'd had a little extra time after lunch. All I needed to do was get in and out before it was time to pick up the boys from after school care, so I figured it would be fine.

After lunch I started doing some work. One thing led to another and next thing I knew it was three o'clock. Sakinah is pretty fast, so I figured all would be well. I gave her a quick call and she was easygoing as always. "Come at around four. I should be ready for you then," she told me.

The salon is very close to Grady. So, in my procrastinating head, I had planned to slide in there at about 3:15 and escape by five-ish to go and scoop the boys. "Around four" was a curveball--though not an unreasonable one--that would mess up my plans.


Since the BHE has been working on this new business venture, I wanted to avoid asking him to leave work early because of my . . . uhh. . .hair. So I just sat there in my office. Rubbing my hand over my woolly head of hair and feeling myself getting fretful.

That's when my cell phone rang.

"Hey babe. Just checking on you."

It was Harry. And for whatever reason, the minute I heard his voice, I broke down and started crying. Hard.

"What is it, babe? You okay? What happened?"

"I . .. I . . .I just need to get my hair done. I do. I just. . . ." and I dropped my head into my hand and shook it because I knew it sounded ridiculous.

"Did you call Sakinah? Why can't you get your hair done? Should I call for you?"

"No. . .she can take me at around four. . . .but . . .I just need. . . this is so stupid, I know. . . I just need a haircut and a relaxer and it takes time and. . . .I just. . "

"What?" he asked.

"I won't be done in time to get the boys from after school care." Then I held the phone away from my face because I was going into an ugly cry. And I knew how ridiculous I sounded. That made me cry even more.

Harry stayed quiet for a bit. Then he said, "I'll get the boys. Get your hair done, babe."

"No. You need to be at the restaurant. And you need to do the things you need to do to keep the lights on in our house. My hair doesn't keep lights on."

He chuckled. "Yes, it does. When you look good, you feel good. It's hard to do things well when you don't feel good. It's okay, babe. I got you."

He's got me.

I felt this big plume of relief blow out of me. Because he got me--and he gets me. Me. My hair. And all of my crazy that's been swirling inside of this new normal.

"The afterschool time is hardest for you, huh?" His voice was gentle.

I thought for a moment and then answered. "Yeah. It kind of is."

Deanna picked up the boys every day from after school care. So I didn't have to rush because she was always there. There were things I got to do and finish up and not worry about and my kids got to sit at the table and learn cool things every night--all thanks to her. But even more than all of that, I got to see her when I got home. I got to see her.

So, yeah. After school time is hardest. It is.

"It's okay. Go and get your hair done. And get a manicure or whatever it is you get at the nail shop, too. Take a minute, okay? I'm cool."

And he was. So I did. I took that minute. I sure did.

When I walked through the door that evening, Zachary looked at me from the kitchen table and said, "You look good, Mommy!"

Harry just smiled and added, "Yeah. Mommy is hot."

Happy Tuesday.


  1. You got yourself a great one, Mrs.Manning. Did.you.ever.
    Anyway-you're gorgeous haircut or not-but I FULLY believe in the power of feeling great when you feel that you look great-and you do.

    Maria, fellow Meharrian

    1. Ha ha. . thanks, sister.

      Kimberly, fellow Meharrian

  2. A keeper, for sure. Love and understanding!

  3. He sure is the BHE! And you are the BWE! God bless

  4. Oh, my gosh. That is just the sweetest thing. And that you told it, how you told it, is even sweeter. You are beautiful.

  5. wow. i wish i could meet someone as fantastic as harry. just wow.

    1. He's somewhere looking all over for you as we speak. :)

  6. BHE, is full of kindness and always seems to know exactly what the doctor needs (smile). Many blessings to you both!


    1. Thanks, Cassandra. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

  7. Shout out to the BHE!!! You deserve him!!

  8. Awww, girl, this made me tear up. Love the BHsE :-)

  9. I'm glad you were able to get that "kitchen" straightened out and grateful you have a strong support system.

    1. Girrrrrl, you know it gets real serious in the "kitchen" sometimes! :) I am grateful for him. He's awesome.

  10. Soror, God had your BHE call at the very moment you needed him to. And you have a smart BHE because he knows that a happy wife is equals a happy life. Hugs

  11. That is so sweet!! I love how he gets you.

    1. me and all my crazy. Bless his heart. Ha ha ha ha.

  12. It's the simple things, that mean so much! He gets you and your hair! Gotta love it..... - Crystal "Front, Inc."

  13. Harry should teach a class ...BHE 101! :-) Hey Soror! I sent you a text awhile back, I work from home on Weds and have two boys of my own. I'd be more than willing to pick them up on that day, or whatever help I can offer, I'm here if you need me. You and D are sisters to me! Love always! -Renee (#434 on Nov roster)

  14. My younger sister told me about your blog a year or so ago, and I have been reading ever since. Responding to blogs has never been big on my list, but I really wanted to tell you how much I enjoy reading yours. I am a middle school English teacher, a Republican, the third of eleven children, and a single mom raising my teenage son alone. From that list, it may look like we do not have much in common, but your blogs connect with me. Your compassion, your sensitivity towards others, your perception are simply beautiful. I have shared some of your blogs with my 8th grade - (deleting any crazy words :) I guess I wanted to encourage you to continue to share your insight and wisdom because your words are not only touching hearts; they are reaching all the way to the soul. Your family continues to be in my prayers during this sorrowful time. May the happy, wonderful memories of your sister outweigh the sadness in your heart. dj

  15. This blog says it all. Your husband loves you and knows you well enough to help you get your needs met by him or someone else-- no matter how small. You know how blessed you are and not afraid to share it.

    Your blogging often puts words to feelings I can't express well as a wife, working mom of a little boy, daughter, sister, etc-- your readership always has got your back and is cheering "Go Girl" all the while. Thank you for sharing your window on the world. My thoughts and prayers remain with you and all your family this Holiday season and into the New Year. Stay strong.

  16. Dr. M...

    The BHE strikes again!! I've been so wrapped up in school that I haven't had the chance to stay updated...I've missed so much and I have so much to say, but I'll focus on this post. He does get you...and that is so special. Glad you were able to get your hair laid...sometimes that can make all the difference!


  17. "If momma ain't feeling good, then nobody feeling good", BHE has got the hook up on all of that. He is a blessing to you, right now and always, your readers know that and are thankful that he knows how to care for you and your crazy.

  18. Oh, this is way too good. I enjoyed reading it. You got a good one. :o)


"Tell me something good. . . tell me that you like it, yeah." ~ Chaka Khan

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