Saturday, January 5, 2013

What the. . . . ?

What is up with my kids saying, "What the. . . ?"  Let's be clear on something--just because you hear me saying that repeatedly while pulling things out of refrigerator drawers does NOT mean you're supposed to go repeating it.

No, you are not.

Okay, so I just have a few things beyond my perishables that I'm saying "What the. . .?" about. Actually, what I'm really saying is "What the EFF!" but my kids just don't here the last part. And yes. I actually say "EFF" and not the full F-bomb because I just have to be in the mood to drop a full-on F-bomb. I do. Oh, and Harry, who is quite liberal with his F-bombs, says that me saying "EFF" is exactly like me saying the full-on F-bomb so I might as well just say it.

And to that I say, "Eff that. I say what I want."

To which he replies, "Fuck that, you aren't fooling anybody."

Anyways. Here's what I'm saying "What the EFF!" about right now. Some may be of use to you. The vast majority will not, of that I am certain. (Consider that a disclaimer.)

So . . . first this:

Feedburner (the blog subscription service I was originally using) has just UP AND DECIDED that it would start working again. After a hiatus from November the twenty-something through Christmas. And let me tell you -- there is, like, NO explanation in sight for this. I even called Nate G., my guru for all things techy-internetty, and even HE was at a loss.

What the EFF!

Well. People were emailing and asking what had happened with their subscriptions. And I called Nate and said, "Dude, help." And he replied, "Beats me. I'd use another server if this doesn't get better." As y'all know, I gave it a few weeks and when it didn't improve, I went through the trouble of changing over services. This meant importing the emails of the prior subscribers into a new server. MailChimp, the one I use now, works slightly different. It sends an RSS driven email that has a link to my blog to see the latest contents. Feedburner actually embeds the post into the email.

So finally, I get MailChimp up and running and lo and behold--BA-DOOOW! Feedburner gets up off of its butt and decides to work again.

What the EFF!

NOW I'm freakin' spamming my friends with not one but TWO daily emails from this blog.

Dude. So annoyed with that. Here's what I say: Feel free to unsubscribe from one of them. I won't be hurt. Pick the one you like best and go with it. I have noticed that the Feedburner ones don't show the embedded videos in the email version. But whatever you choose is cool with me.

What the EFF!

People Magazine dogged out the Les Miserables soundtrack. The same one that I'm infatuated with. They said that Hugh Jackman was "oversinging."

What the EFF! It's a FREAKIN' MUSICAL, People. Duhh!


And this:

What the EFF?

I managed to catch one episode of the latest cast of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. This was the one where the former Miss USA Kenya Moore goes off the deep end while arguing with Cordell Stewart's wife. I think Cordell Stewart played football. But honestly I don't really give a crap.

Well anyways. Kenya Moore starts going off on this tirade about how she looks GOOD and JUST LIKE she looked when she was Miss U.S.A. Which, not to be hating on her, just kind of isn't true. And even if it was, it's a really weird thing to say.

She actually said--and I quote--"I'm fabulous! Gone with the Wind fabulous! Okay?!" Then she did like three or four twirls.

TWIRLS, y'all.

Whaaaaaaat. . . thaaaaaa. . . effff? So, so weird. What the EFF, Kenya Moore! You making the sisters look bad!

Uggh. That show makes women look bad, period. What a trainwreck. What the eff.


Every now and then one of the sisterfriends in the hair salon brings their kids with them. It's pretty much a family atmosphere so it's usually cool. But a few times, I couldn't help but say What the EFF!

Well. Last week I was that client. Harry had to work. I had to get my hair done. My kids were right there with me in the salon and I had zero shame in my game. Thank goodness for handheld games. Otherwise those dudes would have been looking at me like What the EFF!


Has anyone used the International Terminal at the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta Airport?


Dude. That terminal. Wow. It is, like, far. Or as my grandmama used to say, "Plum yelly." (Plum out the city and yelly out the state.) Like, seriously, this thing is two or three exits south of the main airport. And if you haven't planned accordingly, you will be looking SERIOUS trying to get somewhere.

What else? Oh.

Harry insists on not drinking red wine with me.

What the EFF? He's going to make me a wine-o. Not really, but I do wish he'd drink red wine with me.

Hmmm. Oh, yeah. What the eff! Lately, when I run (and by run, I mean walk/run)  outside, my hands get so cold that they feel like they are getting frostbitten. It improves when I get home. Even if I have on gloves while I'm out there. It's very, very uncomfortable.

What the EFF?

Okay. So I'm sleepy so I'll stop there. I could list another twenty five related to my husband but I don't think he'd appreciate that so much. Ha ha.

Yeah, so that's all I got for now. That and these pictures:

Night night.

Happy Saturday.


  1. The whole Atlanta airport: what the eff?

  2. "What the..." is the trend now. My four-year-old goddaughter said it the other day when we were getting out of the car. She got out of the car and stepped right in a wad of gum, and then promptly said, "What the...?" Her mother was not at all happy about the language, but I was over the moon. To hear a four-year-old use an idiomatically correct phrase, in perfect context, and in pitch-perfect tone... yeah, godmommy was very pleased.

  3. Remember when Owen was saying, "What heck?"
    That cracked me up.
    The other day he tried to pull a full-on g*dammit and I said, "No, you're not allowed to say that." Then he said, "Jesus Christ!" and I said, "No, you're not allowed to say that either." He finished off with a "gosh darnit" and I said, "That's okay."
    It's so hard not to laugh, though.
    I also won't let him call me "dude" but "Lady dude" charms my heart.

  4. My kids all say "What the..." regularly. I consider it a victory that none yet add the final word!


"Tell me something good. . . tell me that you like it, yeah." ~ Chaka Khan

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