Sunday, November 10, 2013

Junk Drawers.

A huge part of my happy, Autumn and my boys

If you look hard enough you can always find something to be anxious about. That I know for sure. I was outside on a run today and I felt really good. The sun was hitting my face but the air was cool. The leaves were crunching under my feet and all of it screamed autumn. It's my favorite season and running allows me to appreciate it even more. My body felt strong and able and I had good energy.

And all of it was good.

While I was running, I started to zone out. And by zone out, I mean I started thinking about things unrelated to the music in my ear or how far I had to run. Which is usually a good thing but for whatever reason I started overthinking my happiness.

Yeah. That.

I do that sometimes. Like, wondering if I really am happy or if I have somehow tricked myself into just believing I am. Which is kind of ridiculous, I know, but it is something that I do sometimes. And on this day, I related that to junk drawers in my house. Random, I know. But stay with me -- I'm going somewhere.

So, yeah. I'm running and next thing I know I started to think about the two -- no three -- junk drawers in my kitchen and the stacks of books and stuff on the little cubby shelf next to the refrigerator. Then I remembered some article that I read in Oprah's magazine about how clutter really means something else about your life -- like perhaps it's jacked up and the junk is a sign of what's happening in it. Which made me feel kind of worried because I don't ever remember a point in my life where I didn't have at least two absolutely horrendous junk drawers.

Well "horrendous" depending upon who you ask.

Then I thought about the fact that it didn't extremely bother me. Or really bother me much at all. Which means that I could either be in extreme denial about my jacked-up-ness or just so freakin' balanced that I don't sweat the small stuff.


So yeah. The article, I think, said that junk drawers and cluttery closets and discombobulated cabinets suggest that you ACTUALLY have "junk" you are pushing down in your life that you don't want to see. Which is kind of worrisome when you've always had at least two solid junk drawers from as early as middle school.

So anyways. For a few moments while I was running I started trying to figure out what those things were in my life. Like what was really jacked up that I needed to tuck in a drawer that I wasn't dealing with and what would be my answer if I was the person whose house that declutter dude was snooping around in.

But then all of sudden a thought popped into my head that made me start laughing. Loud and hard. I pictured myself sitting on Oprah's couch across from the declutter dude and listening to him psychoanalyzing my junk drawers in his hoity-toity Aussie accent. Oprah and everybody in that studio audience was nodding and listening like he'd totally cracked open the story of my life by pulling open the middle drawer in my kitchen. But I had something for him.

For whatever reason, in this daydream I went all NeNe Leakes on him. Hand gestures, eye rolls, all that. Everything except the fluorescent white teeth and heavy make-up. So I look at him and Oprah and said, "What if your junk drawers just mean that you have too much shit and not enough time to find a place for it? I mean, damn."

And him and Oprah just looked at each other like, "Hold up--did she just curse on the yellow couch? Twice?"

And I just curled my lips and said, "Like, what is REALLY wrong with having AA batteries, taco seasoning, picture hangers, two Sharpie pens, old soccer picture proofs, two iPhone adapters and some packets of emergency hot sauce in one drawer? I'm sayin'!"

And the studio audience started applauding and that just egged me on more. "Raise your hand if you really needed some hot sauce and the little bit you had left had turned that weird brown color and, thanks to a late night Popeye's Chicken run one time, you found two packets in the middle drawer that weren't even that expired! Raise both hands if you used them and was happy as hell they were in the junk drawer!"

And the audience stood up, raised their hands and started pumping their fists in the air. And Oprah was like, "But how can you be truly be happy and living your authentic life when chaos awaits you in your kitchen?"

And I said, "Oprah, have you ever been eating something that absolutely required hot sauce and couldn't find any? Or have you ever been trying to take a nap and had your kids wake you up because the Wii remotes ran out of batteries? I think a solid junk drawer is a sign of complete sanity."

The studio audience was now chanting "JUNK DRAWER! JUNK DRAWER! JUNK DRAWER!"

Which is a hilarious thought I know, but really and truly the one I had while running today. And I'm so glad I did.

Sometimes you just have to be okay with where you are. And to stop trying to talk yourself out of believing that your life is good. Sure, it can always be better. But it can especially be worse. At least that's what I think.

So yeah. Today was a good day and it included a good run. I felt strong and motivated and happy. And especially happy about the much needed post-run PowerBar I found in the junk drawer -- right next to the airplane pretzels and Glade plug-in refill packets. And you know what?  It wasn't even that expired.


Happy Sunday. One mo' 'gin.

Here's Peter Walsh -- who actually does have some good tips. (But he doesn't address emergency hot sauce which apparently isn't a necessity in Australia.)


  1. You recently mentioned your junk drawers and thus, motivated me to clean mine out. The problem with all that stuff is that you don't remember it's there. Okay. I don't remember it's there. And thus- it never gets used. And it's hidden underneath all the other stuff. I threw a lot of STUFF out. I should have tossed more. Now- as to Oprah- do we really think she cleans out her own junk drawers? Or closets? Or book shelves? She has how many houses? It would be a full time job. And it probably IS a full time job. For someone. Not her.
    But. Back to the our own junk drawers and clutter. Sometimes a packet of hot sauce is just a packet of hot sauce and not an indication of deep psychosis. That's what I think.

  2. i adore this post! don't we all have junk drawers? i'm not sure i'd trust it if someone didn't!

  3. Oh... you're talking about "that" kind of junk and "those" kind of drawers. My bad.

  4. My hands are clappin' and my fists are pumpin' and if I was on that yellow couch I'd say, "Where the HELL are we supposed to put all that stuff we collect if we don't have a junk drawer? Or two or three? And a cluttered closet???"

  5. I have literally gone out to the console of my truck looking for an emergency packet of taco sauce from Taco you have nothing on me! And I could probably live for a month on the stuff I have packed into that same console...whatever that means in the grand scheme of things...

  6. Goodness me Kimberly, to be in your head sometimes, must be a total trip. I could totally picture you on the couch getting that audience all riled up. I also have two sh*$ drawers, that's what we call them at the Reverend's house.


"Tell me something good. . . tell me that you like it, yeah." ~ Chaka Khan

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