Sunday, June 2, 2013

Fighting inertia.

The brother and the sister have cleared the kindergarten hurdle. And yes, this took place at different elementary schools, but that has never affected their status as family.

And so, last night on a balmy summer evening with no school in the morning, the sibs, Zachary and Fiona, fell back into their old routine. . . .and into their metaphorical lockstep as always.

Us, their parents, made this commitment to always work at allowing them to keep that special friendship. We know that when kids are this age, sometimes really important relationships fizzle into the  wind because of inertia more than lack of caring.

I guess the same could be said of adult relationships, too, now couldn't it?

Well, lucky for us, that same commitment that was made about those kids has been made about the relationship between the parents of those kids, too. So the four grown ups sat on the deck on a summer evening sipping adult beverages and having adult conversations. One of the papas was on the grill while the little ones found as many shenanigans as they could to get into.

And all of it was natural and easy and right.

The older kids, Isaiah and Cassidy, go way back to the two year-old room in their first pre-school. Now that they're both rising third-graders, it's fair to say that they, too, are old friends.

Yesterday Cass told Isaiah ,"You boys are trouble!"

His response?

"Cassidy, trouble just means you know how to start the fun."


So yeah. Those two--Isaiah and Cassidy--have also transcended the bumpiness you encounter with less familiar friends and always seem to gel no matter how much time has passed.

But for whatever reason, it's not quite the same as what goes on with Z and Fi aka "the real-true" brother and sister.  Man. Z and Fi? Seeing them together always makes me feel like we've done something right as parents.

I've described it before. Z and Fi interact more like family members than friends. They are protective of one another and so. . .I don't know. . . safe in each others' presence. It's endearing. I guess that's what happens when you start out as infants on Boppy pillows together.


As we sat outside laughing and talking and watching our kids, I thought a lot about inertia.

inertia:  a property of matter by which it remains at rest or in uniform motion in the same straight line unless acted upon by some external force

I recognize that with relationships, we are that external force. Either we allow our own busy-ness and lives to break special bonds that had already been set into uniform motion or when they stagnate we look up and no one has set it back into action. So yeah. However you look at it, we are the external force good, bad or indifferent. With the little ones, it's up to us to put our kids into cars and drive them over to those friends. We have to carve out that time to maintain the friendships that matter. I guess there just has to be some willingness to act.

And, of course, we can't do that with every single relationship. Nor will we always feel compelled to. But have you ever reflected on a friend that got away or faded into the background and wished or at least wondered about it? Like thinking that it could have been different or have continued had either of you just added some tiny bit of external force to keep the momentum? Or removed it to keep it from halting? Or something like that.

I have.

Not with all relationships. Or even most relationships. But I can think of some friends from more remote parts of my life that I've thought about this way. I also know that if hearts align it doesn't take much to set things into motion again.

Especially when it's magical.

Z and Fi have a magical friendship. I'm proud that we've helped them to fight inertia. I am.

Happy Sunday. Off to rounds!

Now playing on my mental iPod. . . .Cassidy knew it when they walked in. (But it really just means fun.)


  1. As I've said before, this relationship reminds me so much of the relationship my Jessie had with the little boy next door when they were very young. They were inseparable. They practically LIVED together. It was so precious and they made each other so happy.
    I consider that to have been Jessie's first marriage.

  2. I have such relationships, and I am thankful for them. Good for you guys for making it happen.

  3. From the deck of the Poop,

    I read this post a few days ago but the old Comment bugaboo stopped me in my tracks..
    Great story.. made me think of a book that am reading.. "Trouble in mind" by Leon F. Litwack. Read it when you get a moment.


  4. You show the things you value by the amount of time you put into them. This is especially true of friendships/relationships.


"Tell me something good. . . tell me that you like it, yeah." ~ Chaka Khan

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