Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Top Ten: Over Forty.

My birthday coffee!


Today is officially the twentieth anniversary of my twenty-first birthday. Okay and let's be clear about one thing--I am saying it this way only because I find it slightly amusing to do so. NOT because I am one of those people who is freaked out about it. In fact--quite the contrary.

Today I bring you the TOP TEN THINGS THAT MAKE BEING OVER FORTY GREAT.

10.

You no longer have to worry about turning forty. Especially when you're over forty. You've finally gotten used to telling people that you are forty by the time you turn forty-something which is pretty damn relaxing.

So in other words, not only are you over forty--by this point you're over forty, too. Let the church say amen!

9.

You aren't as broke as you were in your twenties. Well. You are, but it's a different kind of broke than that twenties-kind of broke.

8.

You have fully accepted that you are not in your twenties, therefore all of your points of reference change. Like, some folks in their thirties are still in denial about clothing, appropriate behaviors, etc. But, see, by the time you are over forty, you realize that there exists an ENTIRE generation of ADULTS who are younger than you and who have no idea what you are talking about with your pop culture references. So saying words like "foxy" and "sassy" and "sharp" work. And this is when people start having that nervous chuckle when you use too many "young" words like "OMG" and "BFF." This helps you to move on along to acting your damn age.

And that age is "grown."

7.

Although many of you thirty and twenty-somethings have the nerve to refer to yourselves as "grown," you are the only ones who think that. By the time you get to your forties, your grown-ness is no longer disputed.

Now.

This can be problematic for those living on couches or in Mama'nem's basements. It is glorious for those with lifestyles/life choices that Mama'nems don't approve of. Because, see, when you reach "grown" there is something about you and your choices that become not only your problem, but also your business. This, I like.

6.


Your goal for body image shifts from young Britney Spears to post-partum Britney Spears. Yes. Britney looks good these days. But no. She does not look like she looked when she was on the VMAs singing "I'm a Slave for You." That said, I could live with this version below. I sure could.

Oh and what's beautiful? Your man can live with it, too. It's lovely, I tell you.



5.

You get to tell somebody "because I said so, that's why!"

4.

Your friends have gray hair coming in, too. If you have premature gray that you color (like moi) you've been waiting for this moment. Now you can sit around and discuss semi-permanent versus permanent color and also when you plan to "hell, just let it go." You also talk about things like mummy-tummy woes after babies and whether or not you would be willing to let somebody aim a syringe and needle at your forehead if it meant less frown lines. You also discuss things like dammit, I'm not getting my tubes tied because, dammit, it's his turn to get something tied or snipped or fried. See? The conversations are just gnarly, I tell you.

3.

If you're lucky, you have a career. Not just a job. If you're lucky.

2.

You don't freak out when someone calls you "ma'am." (This precedes the age where you kick someone's ass for not calling you "ma'am.")

1.

You get to act all surprised and flattered when someone tells you that you CAN'T POSSIBLY be in your forties.

"Happy birthday, ma'am!"

"Thanks! The big four one!"

"Forty ONE? SHUT UP!!!"

"Yep. Born in 1970!"

"You don't look a DAY over thirty-nine!!!"

0_0

***
Happy Wednesday!

Thought I'd share my segment from FOX 5 today. . . not bad for a foxy forty-one year-old!





18 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday!!! And may you have many, many more as great or greater than this one. You deserve them!

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  2. Happy Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your day : ) You rock!

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  3. Happy Birthday Dr. Manning! And I especially like #'s 9,7,& 4.

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  4. Happy birthday, Dr. Manning!! I absolutely love reading your blog. You're such an incredible writer and you are always informative. Thanks also for posting about the autoimmune thing. I just got diagnosed with Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, and I just don't have a clue what it is or what to do with it. Your interview helped me understand it a little better.

    Hope your birthday is wonderful and that you have 100 more! You deserve all the happiness the world has to offer.

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  5. Happy Birthday, Sister Doctor! You are so gorgeous! I think that the forties are truly a woman's best decade. Sop up every drop from that delicious bowl!

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  6. Happy Birthday and many happy returns of today !!!

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  7. Feliz cumple de guate! btw, maybe you should tell a certain Dr. TCQ that he's not as "grown" as he thinks he is (referencing #7).

    Also, one of my aunts has Sjogren's, another has SLE and my mother has RA. I really really hope the autoimmune thing skips my generation...

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  8. Happy Birthday, Kimberly. Love you!!!

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  9. Oh, happy birthday! I hope you have/had a great day!! Great list! (And very timely, as I turn 43 on Saturday, and for whatever reason it's a rough turn.)

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  10. Happy Birthday!

    Does Sjogren's affect sweat glands?

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  11. Happy birthday!!!!! No wonder you are so powerful and inspiring. September 7 women are beautiful and accomplished and never stop. And they are such fierce mamas. They fold people in, let them be just who they are. Happy happy day to you. You so deserve it. Big hugs and love.

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  12. Thank you for spotlighting Sjogren's. All of us dealing with it hate to have Venus "join our club" but maybe she can bring much needed awareness and research dollars. It's not an easy illness.

    Barbara

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  13. A very happy birthday to you! May you be blessed with all the best in the year to come! By the way... I dont think you look a day over 35. must be good familial genes :)

    it was nice to see a good explanation of sjogren's in "real folk" talk. I was tested for it but only got half the explanation you gave.

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  14. Happy birthday. Love this post. Read it before I went to sit my exam. Still in a good mood. Hope you have a good day, girl!

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  15. Happy, happy, happy Birthday!!!

    I wish you the very best this world has to offer, because you are certainly among the best humans gracing it. May you be healthy, loved, fulfilled, successful, proud, happy, joyful, and so many other wonderful things... May all those you love and hold dear, especially your wonderful children, be healthy, happy and successful, and may they fill your your heart with joy and pride each day.

    P.S. Sorry I have not been posting comments lately, I still read when I have a few spare minutes, but 3rd year is in full swing and really busy.

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  16. Beautiful and brilliant. Does anyone hate you? :)

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