Wednesday, June 29, 2011
The tooth shall set you free.
The other day I was folding clothes and Isaiah sees the edge of this plastic bag hanging out of the drawer on my nightstand.
"Hey, Mom! What's this?"
Lawd. Have. Mercy.
Yes. It is exactly what it looks like. A child's tooth in a ziploc bag that, yes, this bootleg Tooth Fairy made the error of sticking in a drawer next to the bed.
Isaiah: "It looks like a tooth, Mom."
Me: (Still sputtering and gasping.) "Sure does, doesn't it?" Gulp.
Isaiah: "Is it your tooth, Mom? Maybe Dad's? No, probably yours since it's on your side of the bed."
Me: (Standing there speechless--not wanting to say the wrong thing. Sick smile on my face like I just swallowed disgusting food at someone's table.)
Isaiah: "Hey Mom?"
Me: (Raising eyebrows only. Still too scared to speak.)
Isaiah: "Can I have an ice cream sandwich?"
Me: "You sure can." Dude, you can have anything if it means you'll get off of this subject.
And off the kid runs without a further drop of fanfare. Hallelujah.
Okay, people. I was a little perplexed about this. Now I feel a bit bad about not being honest--but in my defense I looked at it as protecting his innocence. Wait. Does that count as protecting his innocence?
Anyways. You know this isn't over. Grandpa Isaiah will surely let this marinate and crack me over the head with the topic again when I least expect it from the back seat of the Volvo. I want to be ready, y'all. And, Isaiah has a whole lot more teeth in his head that need to fall out, and his little brother has yet to lose one at all. This is problematic! I need advice people! Wisdom from my peoples!
Is this thing on?
Rookie mistake, I know. I've put that tooth (and the three other ones sitting in that drawer) away in some covert location. But I need your input for the imminent cross examination. Because it is sho' nuff coming.
Sigh. Come on, y'all. Am I pretty much screwed? Is all lost? Tell me something good. Yeah. All y'all.