Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The tooth shall set you free.

Rut roh.

The other day I was folding clothes and Isaiah sees the edge of this plastic bag hanging out of the drawer on my nightstand.

"Hey, Mom! What's this?"

Lawd. Have. Mercy.

Yes. It is exactly what it looks like. A child's tooth in a ziploc bag that, yes, this bootleg Tooth Fairy made the error of sticking in a drawer next to the bed.

Rookie mistake.

Isaiah: "It looks like a tooth, Mom."

Me: (Still sputtering and gasping.) "Sure does, doesn't it?" Gulp.

Isaiah: "Is it your tooth, Mom? Maybe Dad's? No, probably yours since it's on your side of the bed."

Me: (Standing there speechless--not wanting to say the wrong thing. Sick smile on my face like I just swallowed disgusting food at someone's table.)

Isaiah: "Hey Mom?"

Me: (Raising eyebrows only. Still too scared to speak.)

Isaiah: "Can I have an ice cream sandwich?"

Me: "You sure can." Dude, you can have anything if it means you'll get off of this subject.

And off the kid runs without a further drop of fanfare. Hallelujah.


Okay, people. I was a little perplexed about this. Now I feel a bit bad about not being honest--but in my defense I looked at it as protecting his innocence. Wait. Does that count as protecting his innocence?

Anyways. You know this isn't over. Grandpa Isaiah will surely let this marinate and crack me over the head with the topic again when I least expect it from the back seat of the Volvo. I want to be ready, y'all. And, Isaiah has a whole lot more teeth in his head that need to fall out, and his little brother has yet to lose one at all. This is problematic! I need advice people! Wisdom from my peoples!

Is this thing on?

Rookie mistake, I know. I've put that tooth (and the three other ones sitting in that drawer) away in some covert location. But I need your input for the imminent cross examination. Because it is sho' nuff coming.

Sigh. Come on, y'all. Am I pretty much screwed? Is all lost? Tell me something good. Yeah. All y'all.

Happy Humpday.


  1. All is not lost!

    You see, one of your patients lost a tooth and asked you to hold it until they could get home and put it under their home pillow.

    Tooth fairies don't really like going in hospitals very much because they hate getting in the way of the medical staff. Also, with how often patients get moved around in the hospital, the tooth fairy's list of where the patients are is NEVER updated and it is just so frustrating so they try to wait until the person gets home.

    (What? You didn't know tooth fairies try to avoid hospitals because they don't want to interfere with the doctors and hunt down patients? And you call yourself a doctor!)

    So you are being a great doctor and a wonderful friend and holding it for the patient until they are discharged. If you don't see them before they go home, you are going to bring it to them in clinic.

  2. It'll be fine. He wants to believe in the tooth fairy and so he will. Until he doesn't want to any more. I swear.

  3. First time commenter--been enjoying your blog.

    Love the explanation above.

    Also--so cute that he thought it was yours!

    We've had to be creative a couple of times with our 3 boys, i.e. when the tooth fairy forgot, she once had a bunch of change spilled on the front porch and a note about an emergency and sorry she did not make it to the pillow. Once a tooth was chewed and swallowed with a carrot and a note was left for tooth fairy as to why there was no tooth to present.

    You'll have weeks where they are both losing teeth--take my advice and figure out a system to keep them separate when you save them. I did the small baggie thing too and only a few of them have a post it note inside with the date and whose tooth it is!!

  4. 1. When the question comes up (and we all know it will ;) - I like the Anonymous poster's suggestion. Alternatively, you could just go with what he already thought and you could say it was your tooth that you had lost (which would explain why the Tooth Fairy hadn't taken it yet) and now found (and are/were planning to put it under your pillow for her to take).

    2. I agree with Michele about labeling. I only labeled the teeth with the kids' names, but no dates and now I regret not having the information (not that it's really anything THAT important, or anything anyone will really ever care about... but still... kinda sentimental).

    (Making a numbered list makes me feel less guilty about posting comments instead of studying for Step 1. Gaaaahhhh... this torture needs to be over.)

  5. My husband found out about the Tooth Fairy the same way – he found his teeth in his mom's drawer.

    We were telling this story to friends one day, and I ended with a flourish, "And that's how he found out that there is no Tooth Fairy!" Everyone looked at me uncomfortably, and then I saw the 6-year-old who had just lost his first tooth standing there. I apologized profusely to his parents, and they say he didn't hear me and still believes. I think I believe them. But I still feel sick when I think about it.

  6. To be honest (sort of sadly honest), I threw my children's baby teeth away :( ...I thought it seemed weird to keep them. Then when they grew up I wanted them...

    I was lucky to not have been "caught" that way. I did however forget to put the money in the tooth fairy pillow and had to hope they didn't notice while I ran to their room to tuck it inside.

  7. i agree with ms moon. he'll believe as long as he wants to. it's not a big deal. all sorts of snafus happen along the way with teeth. he'll be fine.

  8. I am SO down with anonymous number one's solution.

    A Fellow Meharrian

  9. Both of my kids have always known who the "tooth fairy" is (and Santa, too), but you know what? They both still love losing a tooth (they're 7 and 9) because it means the tooth fairy is coming that night! Knowing what's going on behind the scenes does not take away any of the fun, despite what other people may say. I just could never take advantage of my kids' trust, and now I'm glad I didn't. Do and say to them what you feel is right, and whatever makes you comfortable; you're a great mom, and this small episode is so tiny in the grand scheme. :)

  10. Hold up. You're actually supposed to KEEP the teeth?


  11. My first reaction is that I would have said something like how the Tooth Fairy and mommies are super tight, and I asked her if I could please have his first tooth for a memory, so she let me have it instead of poofing it into sweet dream dust (or something like that).

    AA in ATL

  12. Children that age have the attention span of a gnat. I wouldn't sweat it. I'd hide the tooth better, though, just in case. Love your blog! It has FLAIR! :)


"Tell me something good. . . tell me that you like it, yeah." ~ Chaka Khan

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