Well. Look who got her act together and posted a Thursday huddle?
*hand raised high in air*
What's up, team? Checking in with everyone and gathering all you good people around for the world's most random Thursday huddle. Matter of fact, I even wrote a little top ten about it! Like to hear it? Here it go!
I bring you:
THE TOP TEN SUPER RANDOM FLIGHT OF IDEAS THAT I AM HAVING RIGHT NOW THAT MAY OR MAY NOT RELATE TO YOUR HEALTH AND WELLNESS.
#10 Stop hiding, yo!
This was sitting RIGHT NEXT to my patient one day while I was talking to him. And I'm just sayin'. You've just GOT to respect somebody who keeps it THIS real. None of that "No, Doctor, I don't smoke or drink" from this guy. Nope! Lighters and looseys all wrapped up in a rubber band. What? What!
Look. My point is this: Lying does you no good when you're dealing with your doctor. Keep it real about what you're doing or not doing. Don't hide that lump you felt or front like you are cutting carbs when you aren't. And especially don't lie about your medications. Imagine us doubling the blood pressure medication because we think you're taking it. . . .uhh. . .yeah.
This picture? It MADE. MY. WEEK. Why? Because my patient said, "Me? I just keep thangs real, nah mean?" Ha!
Loosey = "one loose cigarette"
Why does Siri's voice always seem to come in on the exact favorite part of any song you're listening to on your phone? I was running one day and rocking out to Beyonce's "Flawless." Every single time she got to the best parts, that damn computerized-lady voice would come in telling me how fast I was running or what my split pace was or whatever. I kept rewinding but Siri would find something else to tell me.
I decided I didn't like her anymore.
#8 Food versus Fitting
Can I just say this? There aren't too many foods that I like more than I like fitting my clothes. Well. Except Key Lime pie.
Anyways. Case in point: I was in the hair salon and this woman walked in eating some Popeye's chicken. Now. I am the first to admit that I, like most folks, love that chicken from Popeye's, too. But. Not enough to sabotage fitting my clothes. Or feeling heart healthy.
Popeye's? Yeah, that's on my "no" list. Remember--at a certain point in your grown up life you need a NO list. Foods that are just going to be a nuh-no.
#croissants #cheesecake #mojitos #anydrinkwithsimplesyrup #potpies
#7 Master Cleansing.
Drink liquid only! Get all of the poop out of you that's making you heavy! Jump start your weight loss! Yes, do it! You'll look and feel great!
Cut. It. Out.
#6 Speaking of Beyonce. . . .
"I ain't worried doing me tonight! A little sweat ain't never hurt nobody! Why y'all standing on the wall? I'm the one tonight gettin' bodied. . . "
You can burn a lot of calories by just pretending that you're her when no one is looking. I was listening to "Get Me Bodied" the other day and feel certain that I lost seven pounds in the six minutes that song was on.
"Drop down low and sweep the floor with it. . . . " and my favorite "Do the Naomi Campbell walk! Naomi Campbell walk! Walk across the room like Naomi Campbell walk!"
Ha. I was SOOOO fierce, y'all. Tell the truth. How many of you morph into someone else when certain songs come on? Come on. You can tell me.
Oh, and don't even get me started on my "Flawless" routine. . ..
"I woke up li' dissssss. . . "
#5 Flat runs.
I mentioned this to some friends recently but it bears repeating. . . .
I had this epiphany in Florida while running on the path near the beach. Flat runs suck. I mean royally. I ran literally 3 and a half miles and it felt like 3 million because it was such a flat course. Talk about MINDNUMBING.
This is problematic. One, because I'm running a race in Chicago this summer which is SUPER flat. And second, because I'm running a race in Miami in the winter which is also FLAT.
I need variation. How do y'all feel about that?
#4 Spinning? No, thank you.
Have I ever told you about the day I went to a spin class and came out with my hair completely soaking wet? Dude. Not cool.
Let me explain. First--I'm not a person who sweats in my scalp. I also turn into Kid from Kid 'n' Play when I unexpectedly get my hair wet. Yeah, so a long time ago I hit a spin class with a friend and agreed that it was the best workout ever. The class was at 6am and I had to go to work after.
Nothin' against Kid but that just wasn't the look I was going for. I haven't done a spin class since.
#3 Change your shoes.
Hey runners, listen up! Have you been keeping track of your miles on your running shoes? If not, you should. Even if your runners look good, after like 300 - 400 miles, you'll start getting all 'flicted if you keep running in them.
Yes. 'flicted. Not to be confused with AFFLICTED.
#2 Health care bills.
Here's a question: Why must we receive the scary "this is not bill" bill before getting the real bill? The lady at Aetna told me that it's just "the explanation of benefits." Look, people. Just tell me what I owe.
Watch out for your friends who eat whatever they want whenever they want. And who like to go drink all the time. They can jack you for an easy 1,000 calories on one evening of socializing.
You can also counter this by selecting the activity. A walk or coffee is a good alternative. Or just make sure you meet up somewhere that allows you to order something that won't destroy your waistline.
"Let's go to Fellini's Pizza!"
"Girlfriend, I love Fellini's but Fellini's don't love me. How about (insert suggestion that has healthy selections)?"
Oh, and before I forget. Mojitos, though chic looking, are FULL O' SUGAR. Which means they are fattening. So. . . . me and mojitos are not friends. Nope.
Shut those feeder-friends down before you need a new wardrobe.
Okay. That's all I got for now. Hollaaaaaaaaa!