Thursday, May 31, 2012

Ten Quick Randoms: Volume 1

Here are ten quick randoms from my couch this evening. Monumentally unimportant. So please--know that before spending any significant amount of time reading them.

Here we go.

1. First up-- this. I was so overdue for a good flash mob. Mo and Ant -- thank you both for seeing to it that I got this little slice of YouTube sunshine.

OM-expletive-G. This flash mob made me almost as happy as the one Gary did for Brad on It's a Brad Brad World.  Flash mobs are right up there with Key Lime pie for me. Seriously? If you are trying to decide if you should surprise me with a flash mob (or invite me to participate in one) at any time, please know that the answer is . . . .

DO IT.  

2.  How does anyone manage to eat bleu cheese? Or feta cheese? Without feeling like they are directly consuming toe jam? Please. Somebody, anybody tell me this.

*Sorry. Just threw up in my mouth a little bit.*

3.  Yesterday I spent nothing less than two hours trying to hunt down the source of a motley crew of fruit flies that have decided to have a convention in my kitchen. I looked for fruit. I looked for old potatoes. I even checked out the bread. Nada.

A fruit fly takedown is serious business, y'all. Especially in the South. I get rather OCD about it all and go crazy trying to find a source. Which is funny because I am terrified that I will find some Stephen King looking fruit fly fest somewhere. Fortunately, I never have made such a discovery but did once get close with a renegade sweet potato.


4.  Finally I got on the internet and learned about "drain flies."

And yes. Before you even say it,  I had been pouring bleach down the drain but this is Georgia and our flies drink bleach with their breakfast. And then they belch in your face.

I am 100% certain that people like Ms. Moon knew this already but did y'all know that putting a bunch of ice and dishwashing detergent down your drain and running the disposal gets rid of them?

Ummmm hmmm.

In yo' FACE Drosophila!

5. Hmm. What else? Oh, of course. Am I the only one who just adores Mrs. Obama?

Love. Her.

She is all that and a slice of Key Lime pie. And she wears clothes from H&M and TARGET. Seriously? Seriously.

6. Oh yeah. Speaking of First-ish Ladies. . . have I told you of my growing fascination with Duchess Kate? (Who clearly has excellent taste in friends.)

Yeah, I'm kind of digging Duchess Kate. She has that iconic style of her late royal mother-in-law, don't you think? Apparently when she wore this dress pictured above she totally crashed the website that sells it. No disputing it--the girl has style. And proves that you can look feminine and pretty without looking like a hoochie mama.

Which reminds me -- wasn't Princess Diana awesome? I loved her style both figuratively and literally. And she also looked fresh and feminine without looking like a hoochie mama.

Plus -- she OWNED that short haircut long before it was super cool to do so.

(And clearly I am partial to those who aren't opposed to whacking all of their hair off.)

No, I'm not British but I was sad when she died in that car wreck back in '97. Yes. This African American from Los Angeles watched her funeral in a stuffy call room late one night instead of reading her Harrison's Textbook of Medicine. I cried like a baby when Sir Elton John sang that remix of Candle in the Wind.


I think that Di would have approved of Kate. I also think Kate would have approved of Di's short haircut. And I approve of their non-hoochie-mama-ness.

Oh, and I love Elton John, too.

7. Speaking of fascinating women with short haircuts. . . . did you know that I secretly have a dream of being interviewed by Terry Gross on NPR's Fresh Air?

Not. Kidding.

I imagine her saying, "My guest today is Dr. Kimberly Manning, author of the blog 'Reflections of a Grady Doctor' and multiple New York Times Bestsellers. She is also a regular contributor here on NPR and on CNN and a professor of medicine at the Emory University School of Medicine. . ." (Can't you just hear Terry's voice?)

I'll let y'all know when she calls me. Or when her people call my people.

Oh yeah. Speaking of Terry Gross . . . . I just went back and laughed my head off at this old post on my friend Ann's blog. It was about how she's a little bit Terry and a little bit rock 'n' roll. Dang, I feel that way sometimes, too. Warning: You might have to be a Fresh Air fan to find the humor in it. Cracked me up. (Ann always does.)

8.  I got my toenails painted sea foam green this weekend. In fact, it was this exact color.

I was so happy to be getting a pedicure that I told Cindy, the nice woman working on my feet, to choose whatever she thought would be cute--and that wasn't an extra fee (because clearly I'm cheap.) Then I fell asleep in that massage chair. She chose this bizarre color called "Thanks a Windmillion" which, at first, I was rather digging.

Today when I put on my taupe peep toe shoes to go to work, I looked down at those toes and immediately regretted it. This is the problem -- I let her choose a "flip flop color." Totally.

Thanks a Windmillion, Cindy.

9.  I recently saw this man who had immigrated to the United States a few years ago and his main complaint was erectile dysfunction. Or as he described it "I cannot do thee do."


After some questions, my female resident and I learned that even though he had medical problems that could potentially explain this problem, it was likely related to some issues he was having at home. This man looked at us with a very, very straight face and said, "Our women are not like you American women. You American women want to do it, do it, do it all thee time." (NOTE: Please insert accompanying arm-pumping gesture here.) "You American women want it all thee time. Even when you get off of work. You wear thee negligees and thee high heels to get your man in the mood. Our women just lay there like a bump on a log and say, 'Aaaaahhh. Just come and get it.'"

0_0      0_o

Uuuuuh. . . . . .okay.

10.  And last but not least, a few extraordinarily random snaps of Zachary and me on the MacBook photo booth (which he LOVES by the way.)

Yes, people. Admit it. This is exactly what you come here for. Heh.

Wards start tomorrow. Wish me luck and lots of F.P.s. .   .

Happy Thursday.


  1. Love Kate! And Mrs. O! & mommy son pics! :) AND BLUE CHEESE AND FETA!! AND GOAT CHEESE! MMMMMM!! I love a funky cheese! And I'm so glad Rashan does, too!!!!!! Man! Someone send me & the hubs to France imMEEEEjiately!

    1. Kate, Mrs. O -- Yes. Mommy son --- double yes. Blue cheese and other stink-tacular cheeses -- FAIL.

      Spelling of word "immediately" -- HEE-larious. (They'll love that in France.)

  2. Sooo hear you on the fruit flies! Especially in New Orleans. But man, once there I all of a sudden had MAGGOTS crawling all over my kitchen floor. I never found the source and it still creeps me out to think of the days of living in maggot-land and then fly-land. I think something probably died underneath the house and they came up through the floor. {Shudder.}

    Sometimes I imagine answering questions to Terry Gross, especially something complicated. Imaginary Terry helps me articulate so much better than left to my own ADHD muddled-brain devices.

    And that man in #9 CRACKS ME UP. Makes me think of certain countries where women are supposed to be "dry" - as in, not turned on at all and not as a result naturally lubricated. smh. Or how when I lived in Liberia I'd have to start with any new guy with a guided tour of the clitoris. Some tribes and city folk don't do FGM, but many others do, so I couldn't assume there was any understanding. Yes, I am Dr. Ruth for my own personal benefit. :)

    1. NOLA -- Maggots? You didn't say MAGGOTS did you? Let me tell you. .. there is one thing that I just don't do well with (besides stinky cheese) and that's ANYTHING in a larval stage. Ickity ick ick!!!

      Your are SO Dr. Ruth of Liberia and I am sure you changed the world with those lessons! ;)

  3. I'll eat all of your blue cheese. And goat cheese. Whatever. Man, I love that stuff. I guess either you do or you don't.
    I had no idea about "drain" flies. What? Mine just congregate over the compost bowl which makes sense. Yes, I cover it. Sort of. I don't have a disposal. So forget that. As to maggots, well, if you love chickens as much as I do, you get a little excited when you see them because maggots are like a chicken's tastiest treat. Have I freaked you out yet?
    Kate Middleton is TOO thin. Something is wrong there. That's what I think.
    Diana had eating disorder issues and I bet you Kate does too.
    On the other hand, Michele Obama looks exactly like a woman should look. Strong, healthy. Elegant and beautiful. I love her too.
    Opi nail polish rocks. I always get I'm Not Really A Waitress when I get my toes done. It's dark red and glam. Perfect for me, right? With my chickens and maggots and fruit flies and stuff.
    And it's MY fantasy too to be interviewed by Terry Gross! I love her so much! She is the best at what she does although I do have to say that her interview with Keith Richards was not that good. At the end of it he said, "Well, you tried honey."
    I have nothing to say about Flash Mobs or erectile dysfunction. Except. High heels and negligees? He's a lucky man.
    Good morning, Sister Grady Doctor. I love you. And your darling boys.

    1. YOU didn't know about drain flies? What? Now I question their existence. Maggots -- eew.

      Kate is too thin but I still love her style. Diana could have used a biscuit, too, but loved that woman. She probably wore OPI polish, too.

      Terry Gross rocks. Love that you love her.And Mrs. Obama. Far more important than you loving the Royals.

      I am currently choreographing a flash mob for your chickens to surprise you with. Me and Owen are working on this as I type.

      And the erectile dysfunction man? Seriously? Where are these American Women to which he refers? Thee high heels? Negli-WHO? He is waaay mistaken.

      Love you, too.

  4. Your posts like this always always ALWAYS make me smile.

    1. You know what? Thanks for saying that, Alisa Renee. Every single time I make a post like this, I imagine someone somewhere saying, "What the hell is this? I thought this was a serious medical blog? WT-eff?"

      You have fueled my nonsensical random blog post fire.

  5. Love Kate, Love Mrs.Obama and Loved Princess Di. Hate fruit flies and drain flies. They sell these cute little plastic apples, you fill with fly bait and throw away after a month or you can fill a throw away cup with equal parts old-ish wine and dish soap and make a funnel to stick in the cup and they will go to that also- that being the more disgusting way to catch them!! Love this post.

    1. Oh organized mama! That was such an organized mama thing to share! I am SOOO going to do the funnel. And. I DO have some red wine that I haven't been able to full enjoy because frickin' FRUIT flies keep accosting me from the smell.

  6. I like everybody you like - skinny or not - and including our most real and dignified First Lady ever. And I like the darling, fun pics of you and Zachary. I don't like fruit flies...

    1. Excellent taste, my dear. And the fruit flies? YICK.

  7. 1. That proposal was awesome! I should ask my husband to re-propose to me...
    2. I love funky cheese! Love it! The funkier the better in my book. And my sweet baby loves it to. My husband thinks we're nuts. He is wrong.
    5. Mrs. Obama rocks! As do her arms - her muscle tone is my new goal in life.
    7. Love NPR - can't wait to hear you on there. Make it happen!
    8. What a pretty color! I find it totally work appropriate. Says the woman with long teal fingernails...
    10. Great pictures!


"Tell me something good. . . tell me that you like it, yeah." ~ Chaka Khan

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