Thursday, April 14, 2011

Thursday Top Ten: The Slammer.


Today's top ten is based upon (one of the many) random discussions that I had this week with my five year old son, Isaiah. As many of you know by now, we have a lot of random conversations. I knew this would be the top ten the minute he started off with this question-- live and direct from the Volvo:

"Hey, Mom? What are, like, ten reasons why somebody might get arrested and have to go to jail?"

Um, yeah. This is what the dude asked me from the back seat on Monday. Just out of the blue. Why ten? I do not know.

Okay. Now at first, I must admit that I was bothered by this question. I hit him with a barrage of queries exploring what would make him ask me such a thing. But then I had a change of heart when two very simple truths popped into my head.

1. Does the kindergarten backseat question ever really have to be for a reason? (Answer: No.)
2. My sweet, angelic manchild just happens to be born into a demographic of folk who disproportionately get faced with the answers to that question. (I mean it is what it is,) So as far as I'm concerned, this might be a good conversation to start early just in case it comes up later.

Therefore. . . .I plunged into answering his question. And those who have or have had or have been around kids this age know first hand that the first answer to such a random question is:

"Well what do you think?"

Aaaahhh. . . .which brings me to this week's top ten: The top ten reasons (according to Mommy, Isaiah, and Zachary) why somebody might get arrested and have to go to jail.

(In case you didn't really know.)



Mommy: "You might get arrested if you walk out of a store with something you didn't pay for."

Isaiah: "I think that's called shoplifting, Mom."

Mommy: "Oh, uh, yeah. That."


Isaiah: "What if you crash your car into somebody and just drive away!"

Mommy: "That'll get you put in cuffs for sure."

Zachary: "What if you are driving a Batmobile?"

Mommy: "You'd get a pardon."

Isaiah: "What's a pardon?"

Mommy: "Like an extra chance to not have to do something if you did something bad."

Isaiah: "Or like when you get to watch TV on a school night."


Mommy: "If you don't take care of your kids, you can get arrested and go to jail. Like not feeding them or bathing them."

Isaiah: "Did we take a bath last night?"

Mommy: (thinking about it) "I think you guys didn't."

Isaiah: "Hmmmmm . . "


Isaiah: "If you deface school property they could put you in jail, Mom. For real."


Mommy: "If you have taxes and you don't pay them, they might put you in jail."

Isaiah: "What's taxes?"

Mommy: "Something that you'd better pay when you grow up so you don't get put in jail."

Isaiah: "Oh."


Isaiah: "If you call 911 and you are just joking, they can put you under arrest, Mom. For real."


Mommy: "If you are being violent and you don't keep your hands to yourself you might get arrested and go to jail."

Zachary: "For fighting?"

Mommy: "Yep. That's why fighting isn't such a good thing to do."

Isaiah: "No, you can fight. Just don't start it."

Mommy: "Or you could just avoid a fight altogether by walking away."

Zachary: "Daddy said if somebody hits me I need to hit them back."

Isaiah: "Right, Mom. As long as you don't start it. For real."

Mommy: "Uuuhhh, okay."


Zachary: "Hey! What about a wobber?"

Isaiah: "It's robber."

Zachary: "A wobber would get arrested."

Isaiah: "No, a robber would, though."


Mommy: "If you break the law you can go to jail. That's why you have to follow rules. Laws are like rules for everybody. Like stopping when you see a red light."

Isaiah: "You sometimes turn when the light turned red, Mom."

Mommy: "Okay. Well I'm talking about other kinds of rules and laws unrelated to that arrow on Briarcliff that turns red after like, five seconds."


Zachary: "Hey! I bet you if somebody had a wet bottom and slid down the slide and then everybody kept going really, really slow on the slide after that they might get arrested."

Mommy: "Or at least they should be, Zachy!"

Zachary: "Yeah, Mommy. Because sliding down the slide when you knew that you had a wet bottom is NOT COOL!"

Mommy: "So not cool."

You never know when you might need this little card.


Happy Thursday.


  1. I needed this today. Thanks for uplifting my spirits, Dr. Manning.

  2. Can you check with them on the offense for peeing in the pool?

  3. I love it. I have two boys as well, and my youngest (now nine) was so fascinated about law enforcement it used to worry me. And I've always thought that child psychologists should do their work in a minivan, driving around, because that does seem to be the place where the most profound conversations happen with kids.


"Tell me something good. . . tell me that you like it, yeah." ~ Chaka Khan

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