Top Ten: Hit me with your best shot, volume 2.

Well, well, well. What do you know. . . .I've had the questions for part two of "Hit me with your best shot" sitting in a draft form for more than two months. And seeing as I'm overdue for a top ten, I figured I'd go ahead and tackle some more of these questions.

For those who missed the first installment of this, essentially it all started when I got asked three separate times to do a "ask the gradydoctor" post. And since writing a post called "ask the gradydoctor" seems barf-tacularly self-important, instead I asked folks to "hit me with their best shot" (or questions.) The fact that I referenced the great Pat Benetar put people in the mood to ask me stuff. Admittedly, I was rather scared that it'd be met with

*crickets*

But nope. Y'all were awesome -- you asked some great questions. You hit me with your best shot (or shots.) Yep, you fired away. With some SUPER random ones, too. My fave of the randoms was "what do you think of sectional sofas?"  (Answer: They're gnarly, baby! Who cares if Martha Stewart and Nate Berkus don't approve?)

Anyways. You asked great questions. And a lot of them. Some, I still have in queue. As promised, I've done my best to keep the askers anonymous. Oh, and if you have additional ones, just leave it in the comments (I won't publish it) or just email me and if I have enough, I'll do a volume three at some point. If not, it was fun while it lasted. Heh.

Without further ado, I bring you:

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT, 

VOLUME TWO (A TOP TEN POST.)

Like to hear it? Here it go!

#10  --  Everybody hurts.

Is there anything that gets you down? You always seem so cheerful and upbeat. How do you not let the ish at Grady in medicine bring you down? Asking for tips to stay up in my medical practice. 

Hmmm. Good question. The answer is . . .

Uhhh, OF COURSE there are things that get me down. Such as. . . seeing elders who are unhappy. Especially ones who've lived hard lives. They deserve to be happy. Like, the other day when my F.P. was crying in front of me because life was hard for him? That pretty much haunted me. It is still haunting me. His face, his tears, his body crumbling while he squeezed my hand. That got me down.

One of the things that helps me is writing and reflecting. I sit and think about perspectives and how things affect people. I try to learn from what I see. That always makes me feel better.

And one other thing? My dear friend the Profesora in Pittsburgh always tells me that caring for patients is a privilege. I have that graffiti-ed across my head. I hear it like a chant on the hardest days and like a song on the best days.

A privilege. A privilege. A privilege.

Then I always feel better because it is a privilege.

This morning in the underpass near Grady. Taken from my car window.

People being poor and without resources gets me down, too. Like this person I saw this morning who was likely disabled but sleeping outside on the ground beside their wheelchair. A wheelchair that could and would likely be stolen if they weren't paying extremely close attention. Those kind of things hurt my heart.

I am what I'd like to call a spiritual person. For me, a lot of this calls for turning inward to my faith (which happens to be Christian faith.) For someone else being spiritual means something else--and that's cool. A lot of me being upbeat has to do with how blessed I feel and believing that by letting my light shine, others will shine, too.



#9  -- What's the REAL scoop on getting into med school?

I am a pre-med student with a burning passion for medicine. That being said, I have a few questions about the whole med school process... Does college reputation really matter when applying to med school or are they primarily concerned with actual grades. (I ask because I hear differing opinions and I am not at any super prestigious school or anything, as I am at a local state college). Also, I am a little bit older the average med school applicant. My grades are good, but I know they are not competitive as compared to some others who will be applying. Are grades the main thing schools look at? Besides all of my volunteer work etc, is there anything else you could think of or recommend that would really show admission committees that I would be a good fit for their school and would make a good doctor? Exactly how personal should a personal statement be? I ask that because I feel like some of my honest, true feelings sound cliche and I worry about that. I also don't want it to sound too sad.  

Well, dang. That is not even one question, my pre-med compadre. Ha ha ha! But it's all good because these are important questions. Let me try tackling this little packet of queries.

College reputation, does it matter?  Well. That depends upon the school to which you're applying. Really,super competitive schools tend to slant toward more prestigious schools. This can be overcome if and only if your grades at the less swanky school are spectacular. If they aren't, it could get tricky with some of the more competitive medicals schools. Applying to state medical schools or less competitive ones could help get around that. And honestly? They are so much cheaper and many are super good schools. Don't rule those out.

Are grades the main thing?  No. But they do get your foot in the door. The truth is this -- all application processes are now electronic. This means people can set filters to not even look at applications for people with GPAs under a certain number or MCAT scores below a threshold. Which sucks, right? I'd also be curious to know what you mean by "not as competitive."  Straight A's with two B's is good. All B's, not so good for med school. And 2-point-anything GPA could present a virtually impossible hill to climb.

Note--this is globally speaking and is in no way reflective of Emory. This is just my take on it from talking to and knowing lots of people in Medical Education.

Besides volunteer work? Life experiences. Well-roundedness. Interesting things that you do. Like, I once interviewed someone who taught hip hop dance and had made the finals on "So You Think You Can Dance." Which, to me, was rad.

As for the personal statement, peep this post on the subject. I like them fairly personal but strategic. They should underscore your strengths and what you're proud of. The personal statement can often drive your interview so put stuff in there that you'd like to discuss. If something sad has shaped a part of who you are, fine. As long as you'll be game for talking about it.

Hope this helps.


#8   -- Are you crazy? No, really, are you?

When Doctors tell people it must be anxiety, are they really just saying, "It's all in your head?"

Yes and no. Yes, in that anxiety can cause a lot of symptoms to be amplified. No, in that it doesn't mean we think you're making it up. So that part is "in your head" but not in the "let me trivialize your symptoms and blow you off" kind of way. I can speak for myself and say that when I suggest that anxiety is making someone sick, it's because I really think that. I see debilitating anxiety as a medical issue and one that should be treated carefully. There are some complicated psychiatric disorders that are beyond my expertise that can cause significant physical symptoms. Like real, real significant ones.


#7 -- Move it or muzzle it?

If you had to give a percentage of the importance of exercise and what you eat, how would you rate it? (meaning, in overall health, how important is how much we move and how important is what we eat) Hope that makes sense. probably not. ha! And, what does a typical breakfast for you look like? So random, I know.

 Maaaan. This is also not even one question. Hee hee. (But I'm the type that would ask a battery of questions, too, so hakuna matata.)

Okay. So here's what I think--which is NOT EVEN based on my doctor-ious knowledge. . . .

You ready for it? 

Bread is the devil. (Read about our break-up on the hyperlink.)

Okay, maybe not the devil. But seriously? Once you get over about thirty-five? You can exercise all you want. But unless you are watching your caloric intake, fuggeddaboudit--your ass will eke up a little in its badonkadonkness every single year. Believe that. Even if you run marathons. Which reminds me. Have you ever seen a surprisingly . . .errr. . .dense marathon runner? Of course you have.

Mmmm hmmm.

I also think weight training is very, very necessary. Especially of your big muscles like the thighs and glutes. Muscle burns fat. Build those and you'll better maintain your weight. And yes. I also think that carbs in excess will give you a spare tire if you aren't in your twenties or a lucky person with ridiculously awesome genetic makeup. Oh and drinking calories with abandon? Epic fail if you want to fit your clothes consistently. No frozen drink at 550 calories tastes better to me than how it feels to fit my jeans. Yep. I said it. When it comes to the spirits, I usually lean toward white or red wine. My fix during margarita season (summer) was 120 calorie Mexican beers with lime and a salted glass. Genius, I tell you. I also gave up all sodas nearly a year ago. (Yes, I know that Mexican cervezas are carbonated but that's different because that's cerveza in moderation.) Even diet sodas. I am now a believer that the fake sweeteners trick your brain's satiety center into eating more.

Breakfast? I believe in breakfast. I like to have an egg and some turkey bacon. I will eat healthy carbs in the morning, like Grape Nuts cereal or a Greek yogurt with some Grape Nuts on it for crunch. No matter what, though, I don't skip breakfast. That, too, can leave you with more junk than you want in your trunk. (Slows the metabolism when you skip meals, ya dig?)


#6 --  The memorable ones.

 Who was your most difficult/frustrating patient? Who is your all time favorite patient and why? do you have any unusual talents/random facts that most people don't know... What are they?

The patients aren't usually the most frustrating. I'd say one of my most frustrating moments have involved the doting family members. This one in particular was rough.

Collectively, the Grady elders are my favorites. My patient who used to smize with me was awesome. But I'd have to say. . . .of all time? That's rough. Mrs. Zebedee would be up there. Of course, my dear, dear F.P. who always cries every time I see him. The man who always called me by my first name was amazing. And I'll forever love the woman who made me think about this and that.

Unusual talents? Uuuhhh. I draw pretty well. But that's not so unusual. I have a scary-good memory. Like, even old phone numbers and all kinds of quirky things. I don't forget most people or details. Ever.

Oh yeah! I was a great stepper in my younger sorority days. I still can perform and remember an abnormal amount of most of our step routines. I was kind of bad ass, actually. Ha ha.

This is from the year some M2s convinced me to teach them some steps. Ha ha!

#5  -- Sole to souls.

Kind of a question here... the top photo reminded me of one of your best posts (IMHO). If one wanted to collect men's shoes, can you help one make sure said collection ends up at the right spot?

Well, guess what? I called the social worker office to find out where to drop off donations of shoes at Grady. The main social work office on 1A at Grady would love to have them. I also know that our primary care clinic social worker definitely would accept them if it's only a few that you have.

Oh yeah! My dear friends Carol R. and Katie B. work at the Central Presbyterian Church Men's Night Shelter in downtown Atlanta. I bet money that shoes would be needed there. They read this blog so I know one of them will email me or respond. Coach B? Weigh in. Carol, I know you're all shy with the comments so an email would be lovely. :)


#4  -- Med/Peds versus Family Medicine

My question for you is basically the question I have been debating with myself as I choose my electives. Why did you decide on Med/Peds as opposed to Family Medicine?

Ooooh. Good question. Well, first, let me preface this by saying that this is just my own opinion and my own experience. The fast answer is that I was rather torn between the two and was advised to just do the combined program. Nothing too deep. I wasn't certain about whether I'd want to do a subspecialty in Internal Medicine or Pediatrics, so achieving dual board certification would give me more options.

Now. I think the real question is, "What's the difference between doing Family Medicine and Med/Peds?" I think that both are amazing specialties. I am also not in the camp that believes that IM/Peds is superior to Family Medicine--not one bit. If someone is absolutely certain that they'd like to lean toward being an ambulatory specialist for families, Family Medicine is a great option. This idea that IM/Peds people "know more" (I hear that often) is not really true. It depends, of course, on your program and on what knowledge one is talking about. Like FP residents run circles around IM/Peds when it comes to knowing how to run a practice when they finish. IM/Peds trainees would be better equipped for sicker inpatients and ICU patients. But really? I see all training programs as like getting a driver's license--sure you can drive when you get licensed, but it takes years to get really, really proficient. 

Med/Peds does give you the option of doing a fellowship in an IM or Pediatrics specialty. Having a dual board sounds "sexy" to a lot of people and can make you more marketable. It's great to have the experience with sick patients of all ages if you're interested in global health, too. Even though I don't do Peds any more, I have never regretted doing the combined training. I think each specialty complemented the other. I've maintained both certifications and loved my training.

That said, I don't consider myself the poster child for Med/Peds. I think it was a good fit for me. I think it's a really tough training and it ain't for whiners or punks. (Sorry to be blunt.) But if you can survive it? It's a great thing to have done.

#3   Three for the price of one

Hi! I have three questions for you :) 

#1: What do you think is the best way to get along with doctors and nurses who have been doing their jobs forever, who have forgotten more than you've ever known, and who are more than twice your age (like seriously, three or four times my age).... when you don't agree with what they're saying, or worse, when you need to question what they're doing? I'm a 28 year old girl who gets carded for buying lottery tickets (age limit: 19), and whether I'm being there for my kid, or as a patient myself, this situation is pretty common. 

Aaaah. The best thing to do is to be nice, hardworking and smart--in that order. First--learn the names of every single nurse and doctor working with you. Be collaborative. Don't take things personally. Get thick skin. Respect their experience and lean on them. Be careful with the "question what they're doing" part. You'd be surprised how right the nurses often are. (Maybe you wouldn't be if you'd been around as long as me.) When you're kind and have built a rapport, disagreements aren't awkward. They're just discussions about how best to care for the patient.

Lastly, check yourself. Make sure you don't have a chip on your shoulder. We all do sometimes. Once you flick it off, not much bothers you. I know that I try to be nice, hardworking and smart--in that order. I know I'm a good doctor that tries to treat people like they are valuable. I know this because I work hard at it. When someone isn't being kind, I recognize that it's usually more complicated than I realize. I try to understand. And you know what? It always ends up working out.

#2: In the same vein, what would you think would be the best way to deal with the same health care professionals when they get frustrated and start calling your parenting into question? Or start acting really paternalistic because I look the same age as their daughters (or worse, am)?

 Ha ha. I think the last answer applies here, too. Oh--check out this post on how to get the nurses to hate you--and this one, too. Not so much about parenting, but still could be amusing, if not helpful.

If someone calls your parenting into question and they're your doctor--get a new one. If they are just rude people? Just look at them like they're stupid and keep it moving. Or you could just do this.

And third question is: Can you please please please do more posts on culture in the South? I'm Canadian (from the Maritimes), and I find them so fascinating, especially anything about food and manners.

Yes! I hope that you've gleaned more about the South since asking this. But, yes, I'll keep this in mind. I love cultural competency and feel honored that you want to know more. I want to know more a-boot you Canadians, too.

#2  --  Don't sleep!

 Hi GradyDoctor, I'm a college senior thinking about medical school. The one thing that scares me most about med school, residency, etc. is sleep deprivation. I just hate the idea of not feeling/looking/performing my best because I didn't have enough sleep! How did you (do you?) deal with this, physically and emotionally?

The truth is that you have it exactly right. Sleep deprivation sucks in ways more royal than Harry, William and the Duchess all rolled into one.  It is like torture to not sleep and it isn't really normal.

But. The good news is that in this day and age, nobody really gets the full sleep deprivation that we knew in medical school and residency. We got hazed big time. Remember when my friend Neil W. mowed down a row of cars after being up for 48 hours? If not, read that post. Or my idiotic decision to take two calls back to back. But now? That's all illegal. People get to sleep. They get to go home and get into their beds. They get days off.

So as far as that part goes? You're good.

But seriously, though? The best thing you can do is sleep when it's time to sleep. Don't let people talk you into going out when you should be getting rest and also make sure you're exercising--that always helps you to sleep better.

#1 -- The biggest losers.

 What is the biggest problem you see with our healthcare system today? Specifically, your frustrations as a doctor. Not trying to start a political debate here! 

That's easy. Lack of access to affordable health care for so many people. The dichotomy between the haves and the have-nots when it comes to getting care. Lumps that can't get biopsied. Meds that can't be purchased. Private ERs that send people out with broken bones in scotch tape splints and a note that says "Go to Grady" (or insert your favorite safety net hospital.)

The poor have it bad in this country. A lot of it is a vicious cycle. It's overwhelming sometimes. It really is.

Last year on the way to Grady. Same spot as above.

BONUS:

Quick! What were three funny things you heard at Grady today?

#1  -   A Grady elder saw another younger person in the hall way as I was walking in. They greeted each other and the elder said (in a SUPER LOUD VOICE):

"Damn, girl! You done got fat, ain't you?"

#2  -  A young dude walked up to me and asked if I would marry him. Marry him, y'all. Just like that. Or rather, like this:  "Excuse me, baby. Will you marry me?"  I said, "Uuuuh, no. But thanks for asking." And he said, "Awww, come on RED. How you gon' do a brotha?"

Hee hee.

#3  -  I was coming to see a patient that the resident had just finished seeing. He was walking out of the room as I was going in.

"Sir? Where you going? I was just about to see you."

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"Oh, okay. I'll just wait for you then. No problem."

"You can if you won't to, but I'm jest tellin' you it might be a minute."

"Uuhhh, okay. Are you alright, sir?"

"Oh, I'm fine. I jest feel my stomach boilin' . . .you know. . . like I got to boo-boo tha's all. So if I do, it might be a minute."

0_0

Uuuhh, yeah.


***

Happy Thursday.  Look forward to the next time you hit me with your best shots. Stay tuned!

Now playing. . . . a little Trace Adkins singing the bread-eaters anthem -- Honky Tonk Badonkadonk! *You're welcome*

Top Ten: Hit me with your best shot, Volume 1.

Whelp. It wasn't a bust!

Woo hoo!

You asked. You did! You hit me with your best shots and fired away. You sure did. And keeping true to my promise, I have answers. In the interest of you not reading a five thousand word soliloquy, I will limit this volume to ten. . .well sort-of ten. . . . of the questions I received and I promise to include the others in a Volume 2.

Volume 2!

Did you get that? How cool is it that I received enough questions to even do a Volume 2? And, perchance, a Volume 3 even? Hush yo' mouth.

(Pardon me while I do a happy dance for feeling so accepted by y'all!)

Okay I'm back. So here we go with Volume 1 of your best shots. . . .

Hey! I wrote a little top ten about it! Like to hear it? Here it go!


#10  Why Grady?

Question: What originally attracted you to Grady? 

I did my residency at a county hospital and loved it. Although the experience during training with indigent patients in Cleveland, Ohio challenged me immensely, when others felt overwhelmed, I felt right at home. Though there was tremendous poverty where I was working, I began to learn about other public teaching hospitals with even greater need. When I finished my chief year, I knew I wanted to go to a larger metropolitan area to work in one of the fire breathing dragons; I set my sights on the legendary public hospitals.

What did that mean? It meant:

Grady in Atlanta (my very first choice)
Bellevue in New York City
Jackson Memorial in Miami
Parkland in Dallas
Charity in New Orleans
Cook County in Chicago
Ben Taub in Houston

I was over the moon when I got an interview at Grady. I nearly fainted when I received an offer. I'd always wanted to come to Grady because I knew I would feel at home when I got there.

And I have from the moment I arrived.

#9  Don't forget the lyrics.

Question: All those lyrics you use to begin a post -- do you know them by heart or do you have to check them?

While I do know a scary-large amount of the lyrics to a scary-large number of the songs I use to accompany posts, I always, always double check them and also fill in the gaps of what I don't know. It's so funny when I realize that I've been butchering the lyrics to a song for over two decades!

The musical accompaniment is hands down one of my favorite parts of finalizing the post. That and the title. Sometimes I know the title from the very start. Other times I start with one in mind, write the post, and something better comes to mind.

But you were asking about music and lyrics, weren't you? Oh yeaaaah.

So back to that. . . hand over heart, no kidding-- when I include songs playing on my "mental iPod" they really are. I usually start writing the post and then the song pops into my head. That's when I'll add the lyrics and sometimes thread it through the story. I choose songs that I am familiar with, not just ones that pop up on random searches. As you can see I have a wide and scarily random array of musical tastes. It works for pairing with blog posts, though!

#8  The Funny Section.

Questions:  What do you think of sectional sofas? And what's with the minivan fascination? You are too fly for that! 

This is SO random--I love it! I think sectionals are freakin' awesome. No. They won't win you first place on "Design Star" but if you are looking for a hard core nap, a sectional is what's up. My sister JoLai has a gigantic denim sectional in her den that is both swanky and ridiculously comfortable. I took a nap on that sucker the last time I was home in L.A. that was so good that I needed to be defibrillated to wake up.

So what do I think of sectionals? I think that if my built in the 1920's house had more space, I'd have one.

Disclaimer:  This is coming from a woman who wants a minivan.

And about the minivan fascination. . . .ah hem. Two words: AUTOMATIC DOORS. Period. End of story. Say what you want to say, wrinkle your noses and give me the hairy eyeball all you like. I am very close to complete little kid-mommy nirvana which is defined as:

Little Kid Mommy Nirvana Criteria

1. Can pump their own legs on swings. Which means Mommy can read e-reader and shoot breeze with girlfriends whose children also can pump own legs on swings.

2. Can buckle own seat belts.

3. Can prepare own bowl of cereal.

4. Can swim in deep water unassisted.

5. Is fully conversant.

6. Can read stuff. Not all stuff.

7. Is fully, all-the-way potty trained to the point of being able to sleep over at a friend's house without an oopsy.

8. Can leap into and out of my car in a single bound as I sit calmly in PARK with both hands daintily wrapped around an insulated NPR mug pausing only to (also daintily) press the AUTOMATIC DOOR  button with my manicured fingernail.

Yes!

I have seven out of the eight right now. By 2013, I fully anticipate marking off the eighth one. And to the nice person who asked this question and who suggested that I am "too fly" for the minivan, you MUST know that I have a master plan. This involves me getting so ridiculously fit that (in those rare instances) when I saunter (yes, saunter) out of my tricked out swagger-wagon, the dudes in the valet and the haters waiting for their sedans will be forced to drop their mouths open and say, "I cannot BELIEVE that she has children!" To which I will respond with a CHIRP-CHIRP of my alarm and a sultry glance as the TWO-SIDED automatic doors flush under the swanky vacuum closure mechanism.

My inspiration:

"Where my MOTHER-FATHERS at???" 

Oh! And the haters waiting for their sedans are hating ONE because they have a $700 car note and TWO because despite that, their kids have STILL spilled Cheez-its, Gold Fish and Pirates Booty into the cracks of their butter soft leather interior.

SUCK-AAAAS!

That reminds me of one of my favorite old school Prince songs now playing on my mental iPod. . . .  Now. . .picture me with my AUTOMATIC DUAL SIDED SLIDING DOORS and ridiculously fit body as you listen to this song. And please, don't hate . . .because you know what that means, right? It means you totally have minivan-envy.

Mmm hmmm. Don't hate. Participate.



#7  Going back to Cali? I don't think so.

"Her bikini small

Heels tall

She says she likes the ocean."

~ LL Cool J in "Going Back to Cali"

Question:  Do you ever miss Los Angeles and if you do, what do you miss (other than family?)

Since I can't say that I miss my daddy and my sister, that's hard. I love how Atlanta is full of trees and has less concrete than Los Angeles. Even after I've visited home, I never wish I lived there. But there are some things that I absolutely miss besides the family. Those things are:

The ocean!
The Mexican food!
The Asian food!
The swanky-ness
The laid back-ness
The WEATHER.

But mostly I miss my sister and my dad. JoLai and I are only ten months apart. It stinks living so far from her after spending a large part of my life in the same room as her. It's awesome having her there to visit though. And my dad to expose my kids to L.A., too.

That said. . . .as for me ever going back to Cali? Uuuhhh, I don't think so.

(Peep this old school LL Cool J playing on my mental iPod to get the pop reference.)



#6 Ah hah moment.

Question: At what age did you know you wanted to be a doctor and what inspired this calling?

Calling? Uhhh, I wouldn't say it was that.

I honestly don't know what age I was when I decided I wanted to become a doctor. My mom tells some family lore about my sister JoLai's eye doctor dubbing me empathic at a very early age. Allegedly, he said I'd make a good doctor because I really seemed to care a lot about all that my baby sister was going through with her eyes. Maybe that dude planted the doctor seed (unless Tounces just made that up.)

For all we know, he saw her at the visit with me in tow and muttered that it was "tragic" that she had two kids only ten months apart. And she heard "empathic." (Juuuust kidding, Tounces.)

Either way, it worked out.

Seriously though? In 9th grade I took a science class and was good at it. Math was a struggle but science and people were always my thing. That combination made me feel like I could have a future as a physician. I never had a major ah hah moment. I just wanted to find a career that would make me happy. Since science always seemed to feel organic to me, I never doubted myself when I went into college with my sights set on getting into medical school.

So the truth is that I can't say that it was a true "calling." Instead I was fortunate enough to grow up in an environment where the idea of being a doctor seemed fully attainable to me. Lots about what I do is unconventional in terms of your standard doctors. I mean. . .crying in front of people? Who does that?

Answer: Me. Still working on that tear-drying mechanism. Ha ha ha.

But seriously? This career has been wonderful. I love the relationships the most--it's my favorite part of being a doctor and a clinician-educator.

#5  The Wanted Ads.

Question: As a Program Director, what about an applicant, besides their numbers, would persuade you to hire them? In other words, for those of us who don't necessarily have the best numbers, what part of our application should we emphasize the most in order to catch a Program Director's eye? How do we put our best foot forward?  

It always depends upon what one means by "the best numbers." Does that mean board scores only or grades, too? That matters.

Honestly? The best thing that any applicant can do is to shine in the clinical setting. If you do, then you will gain allies and advocates. For those with less than shiny scores, etc. having a respected person speak up on your behalf makes a difference. So what does "shine" mean? It means being uber-professional. It means working hard and being a team player. It means communicating well with patients and nurses and colleagues. Your work product has to be impeccable and you have to strive to be better every day. If someone reaches out to another program director or writes these qualities into a letter, it helps.

Also remember that there are some very, very good programs out there that may not be attached to big names. Don't underestimate those places.

My biggest advice is to get some allies and a solid mentor at your institution who's willing to fight for you. Oh, and always, always, always LOOK professional. Always. White coat--clean. Clothes -- neat. It makes a TREMENDOUS difference.


#4  Eeewww. And Aaaaaah.

Question:  Are there any medical procedures that gross you out? Also who do you think is the most handsome movie star right now?

I don't like feet. Especially ones that are maggot-infested or with toe jam that looks and smells exactly like feta cheese. Yes, I have experienced both.

Okay. That isn't a procedure but for real? I nearly fainted when I saw a man with trench foot way back when. Hadn't removed his shoes in over three months. And his feet were wet. So, yes. I almost fainted.

In fact, I almost fainted just now whenI typed that.

Oh yeah! Here's something! Post-delivery vaginal tears! Wow. Now that? That 100% sealed the deal on me NEVER doing Ob/Gyn. Like, ever. Especially when I saw a fourth degree laceration. (You don't even want to know.)  And wouldn't you know when I was a med student all of the WORST vaginal delivery related tears happened on MY call nights? My classmates used to be all jealous of me for all the action I was getting and my attending would be all like, "Hey, Student Dr. Draper! You want to suture?"

And I used to be all like:

0_0

"Uhhh, yeah. . . I'm good."

(Just go ahead and Google "fourth degree laceration" if you want to have nightmares.)

*thump*

That time I really did faint.

Hmmm. . . .

And the most handsome actor? Right now? Hmmm.

Love me some Brad Cooper. Especially the He's Just Not That Into You version. I thought Justin Timberlake was adorable in Friends with Benefits. Yes. I said Justin Timberlake. And though it isn't "right now" I still find the I am Legend version of Will Smith to be SMOKING. To the point that Harry calls me into the living room when it's playing on HBO just so I can see the chin-up scene.

And, though obscure, I looooove the dude who played Beyonce's love interest in the "Halo" video (his name escapes me, I know he's an actor on a TV show now). Michael something-or-other. Dig that dude. But mostly because of how he looks at her in that video. I look at it and think, "Now see? This is why I am not an actress-singer-entertainer because I could not EVEN be playing opposite that dude looking all up in my face like that."  They'd be all like "Okay, cut! Uuuuhhh . . .Cut! HEY! CUUUUTTTT!!!!"

Peep it here.



Lawd. 

#3  Hard hitting.

Questions: Are there reeeeeally Dr. McDreamy types at your hospital? Has a patient ever laid a pick up line on you? What's the strangest thing a patient has ever asked you? What kind of doctor are you?


McDreamys? Uuuhhh, not that I look at that way. I'm sure somebody somewhere is feeling McDreamy about one of my colleagues. I did once hear a nurse using some very flattering words to describe my friend and fellow Grady doctor Neil W. And my mama thinks he's "really, really handsome." Does that count?

Oh and have I ever told you about how steaming mad Grey's Anatomy used to make me because of all of the inappropriate resident-faculty relationships? Don't worry, I'm over it now. But seriously? We are so not moving in with our interns and hunching in broom closets.

Eeeww.

Pick-line?  Peep that here.

Strangest question:  My iPhone rang and my patient had a visitor who asked if he could have it. As in, my cell phone. I was like, "Ummm, yeah, that's a no."

I also love when people ask me "what am I?" followed by "are you regular black or from somewhere?" I am still not certain what "regular black" is. And please note that it is only my own people who ask me this.

0_o

What kind of doctor am I? I'm a general internist by trade. I'm board certified in both Internal Medicine and Pediatrics but no longer practice Peds. Unless you count me closing a teeny weeny laceration on my friend's daughter's head recently using her OWN hair. Yes! I tied pieces of her hair together to close a small lac and it was WAY cool. They didn't have to go to the ER and everyone was looking at me all like "five points for Gryffindor." For real, they were.

#2  Balancing acts.

Question: Some of my friends and I were talking about life with our husbands post kids. Some of us are really struggling with maintaining crazy work lives and our kids yet managing a relationship with our husbands. You and the BHE seem to have it together. Were there any low points? How did you break through it?


Well, first of all nobody ever has it as together as anyone thinks. The BHE and I are always a work in progress. I can tell you that there have been times when we've been flying on one wing but fortunately we've always pushed through. I'm certainly no expert but I will tell you a few things that I think of and try to live by.

First, I heard a woman who'd been married for many years tell me early in my marriage:

"Always keep your husband first. Always. Work at that relationship harder than the one with your kids. If you do, the kids will always be alright."

I always remembered that. So I work hard to be Harry's wife and not just the mom of his kids. I do things that make me feel desirable and feminine. I take off my pink fleece Paul Frank pants and put on something else sometimes. I exercise and consider the things he finds attractive. And a lot of times, I wear things he likes. Yes, I wear and do the things I like, but I want to be my husband's ideal. This means not letting things go. Or at least trying not to. And. Even when I am very, very tired (which is often) I make no excuses not to be intimate with him.

Yes. You read that part right.

When I go to work, I throw myself into it. And then I go home. When I'm home, I try to be present. I spend time talking to Harry without the kids interrupting. I stay up a little later sometimes just to do that.  Even when I'm tired.

We also read this book called The Five Love Languages which really made a huge difference in our marriage. I know it sounds cheesy, but we speak each other's love languages. We really do. The BHE's love language is "words of affirmation." Mine is "acts of service." So pretty much, I tell him what an awesome husband he is and he washes some dishes. Afterward we are both in the mood for amor! Ha!

Most of all, I really do make our relationship the one of highest priority in our house. Yep. Before the kids. And no, I am not like that lady who wrote that NY Times article about how she loves her husband more than her kids. But I do get the sentiment and think that kids sometimes take the place of spouses a bit too often. Sorry, but Isaiah and Zachary cannot do for me what the BHE can.

And I think that woman who said if WE are okay then the kids will always be alright was right on the money. She sure was.

That same lady also said "Girrrrl, you got to keep it HOT."

Ha.

#1  Book worming-my-way

Question:  I would like to know how your book is coming along. 

My book. How's it coming along? Errrrr. Yeah. It hasn't been. Every time I try to write on it, I either feel overwhelmed or I feel pulled away from writing here. But here's the good news. After reading that surprisingly craptacularly written NY Times Bestseller "Fifty Shades of Grey" I am ready to at least try.

So to answer your anonymous question, Lisa from Smacksy, I have pretty much been a LA-HOOZER on the book writing front. But your question has nudged me. In a good way.

Related question:  Have you thought about putting a collection of these stories into a book?

Definitely yes. I did speak to a literary agent and did some research on the whole thing and found out that anthology books are very hard sells. No one seems to want to publish them for some reason. And they want nearly all of the stories to be original, which means I couldn't use the ones that have been here already. People that are already big time authors can get away with it but no new kids on the block  like me.

I guess I could self-publish and sell them out of the back of my mini-van. Hmm. There's a thought.

**

Bonus:  What's something random that you've always wanted to do but haven't?

A TED Talk. I'm obsessed with them. The thought of doing one terrifies and excites me simultaneously. Added that to my vision board recently and it gave me palpitations when I did.

***
Happy Wednesday.*

*(And stay tuned for Volume 2 in the future because I saved the other questions.  And, perchance, Volume 3!)

Hit me with your best shot.

Wow. It's been three years that I've been writing this blog and frankly? I can't believe that I've stayed with it for this long. I know that I have because of all of you. You've been a community of thinkers and feelers and learners right along with me and that's made me want to write and share here.

So thanks for that. For real.

A while ago someone asked me to write a post called "ask the gradydoctor." Not in the ask me my medical opinion on things sense (which I don't do here) but instead an opportunity for members of this community to ask. . . .hmmm. . . . any burning (read: random) questions that they may have. When I first heard that request, I said, "Meh." (Insert shoulder shrug here.)

Then. Another person asked me this recently and then surprisingly, another. So with that in mind and the fact that I'm at the three year mark, here we go.

Why the three year mark? Well. Didn't you know that three is a magic number? At least according to School House Rock (which we rock out to in the Volvo five out of seven days per week) it is.

Is it normal that it's 2012 and  the kids and I can sing every single word to this and every other School House Rock jam? Sure can. Oh! And is it normal that I tear up on the part of "Three is a Magic Number" that says "a man and a woman had a little baby. . .there were three in the family. . .that's a magic number" since it makes me think of the day we brought Isaiah home from the hospital?

*sniffle*



Le sigh.

It also taught my boys to count by threes. Anty-who. Yeah, I digress. But if you read here often you know that I do digress a lot.

So where was I? Oh yeah. The "ask the gradydoctor" thing.

Okay. First, let me say this. Having a post called "ask the gradydoctor" sounds rather obnoxious, so instead I'm just going to call it "Hit me with your best shot, volume 1." If I'm lucky, there will be more volumes.

Here's how it will work:

In the comment section of this post, simply ask your question. I won't publish the questions, instead I will just include some of them in a post with the answers. Feel free to be anonymous, even if you normally have a log in--or not.

What else?

Oh. What to ask? I don't know. Random stuff is awesome to me, medical student situations/advice, mental iPod music, what I think about Jennifer Anniston's recent engagement, whether or not jeggings are for everyone, why I want a minivan. . . .whatever. As long as it's appropriate (and I am hoping most of us know how to define that.) Since the queries won't be published, you don't have to be inhibited by that part,  either.

Now.

This could be a total bust and if it is, I will fully blame the three people who encouraged me to do this.  Ha ha. If it  goes better than expected, then I can spread the answers into separate posts.

Alrighty. Hit me with your best shots. Fire away.

Maaaan, I need to go round. Deuces.
***
Now playing on my mental iPod. . . . Ms. Pat Benatar. (You're welcome.)