Thursday, May 22, 2014

Team S.J.G.R. Thursday Huddle: Say something--I'm giving up on you.



Isn't it funny how easy it is for us to pay compliments to other people but not ourselves? I was listening to the radio the other day and someone posed this question. It was simple enough, but wow, did people have a tough time answering it. Then they asked a second question. That one was equal in its simplicity yet for that one, those answers came fast and furious. And honestly? Short of one word, the questions were identical.

Yup.

So I'm sure you're wondering. . . .what, pray tell, were these questions? Let me tell you. Or better yet--let me ask you.

Quick--tell me the answers to these questions:

1.  What are five things that you really, really like about your body?

2.  What are five things that you really, really *don't* like about your body?



Now. If you're anything like me, that second question was easy-peasy lemon-squeezy. But that first one? Hmmm. Even if you have a great self image, it's hard to hit five without having to think hard. But doesn't it suck that it isn't even remotely difficult to point out even ten things you don't like or that you'd change or that you want to work on?

Yeah.

So, here's the deal. Today's huddle is going to require you to speak up--and speak up publicly. Since I already know that you can (and probably have) told someone of the things you aren't so keen on when it comes to your body, I won't ask you to do that. Instead, I need you to take a moment to answer that first question.

What are five things that you really, really like about your body?

Jill and I were most likely affirming each other at this moment


Now. Before you respond by telling me that you can't do this, imagine YOU as a friend to yourself. As your own BFF or girlfriend sitting across from you in a coffee shop saying that same thing. How would you affirm that friend? Because I know that surely you would. You'd quickly find twenty beautiful things about her (or him) and list them right then and there. You know you would.

And.

Let me also challenge you to not just name those things like hair, lips, and earlobes. Push yourself to see beauty in the parts of your body that work hard for you every day. And, sure, it's fine to name those aforementioned things, but I want you to do for YOU what you'd do for a friend. Tell YOU what you'd tell her. Or him. Or them. See it. Find it. And then tell it.



My point is that we need to be friends to ourselves. Like really, really good friends. One day I was feeling particularly crummy about a few things and that song "Say Something, I'm Giving Up on You" came on the radio. And for whatever reason, that day I heard it as me talking to me. Me saying that I need to chuck myself under my chin and look myself in the eye to say, "You're really kind of amazing, actually."

Yeah. That.

Maaaaan, I wish I had time to talk to somebody about how it doesn't matter what somebody ELSE is telling you about you if YOU don't believe it yourself. Yeah, I know that "you yourself" thing was kind of redundant--sort of like this dude I knew who always used to preface things by saying  "me, myself, personally. . . . " Ha. The take home message is that everyone can be saying something about you--but if your opinion differs from it, what difference does it make? That goes for the good and the bad, man. Or like that other songwriter said, "No one can tell you what you know." Mmmm hmmm. Wish I could talk to somebody about all that, but I don't even have time.

So tell me. What do you know about you? What do you really, really like about your BODY? No, not your personality or your spirit--your BODY. Come on. Say something. . . I'm giving up on you, man.

Alright. Deep breath. Here goes. And like the radio personality said, "Don't overthink it. Just spit it out."

What are five things that I really, really like about my body?


#1

I like my nose. It's kind of biggish, actually but it's such a . . . well. . .huge part of me and my face. It's super distinct, covered with freckles like JoLai's, and is the thing that I think makes me look like my dad. It's very "Draper" that nose. Which connects me to them.



#2

I like how my legs look in skirts and high heels. I feel feminine and beautiful when I put on a heel of three inches or more. I like how my husband looks at me when I do and how strong and agile I feel when I walk across a floor in them.



#3

I like my arms, including my wrists and hands. This took a while for me to embrace. Yes, I know that my wrists are skinny and that my triceps are a far cry from Mrs. Obama's. But over time, I've come to like that my wrists are kind of delicate. My hands are veiny like my mother's and my grandmother's. Sure, I'll never be a hand model (unless it's an old lady hands model) but so what. My hands are their hands. Which makes me feel like we are one whenever I look at them. My upper arms tone up pretty well when I exercise which I like.


#4

I really like how my back looks in a backless dress. It looks strong. And I can see that, even with my narrow shoulders and generally small build up top, all that running and also those occasional lat pulls and dead rows show there before anywhere else. I like that.


A friend took a photo of me dancing at an outdoor concert last weekend. I was in a halter dress my hands were in the air waving to the music. And when I looked at that candid snapshot, I said, "Hmmm. I like the way my back looks on this picture."

 And I was proud of myself because I said it out loud to my friend. About myself.



#5

I like my. . .errr. . .  seat cushion. I can't say I had a full appreciation for it before marrying the BHE. He's definitely in cahoots with Sir Mix-a-Lot and is far less concerned about high letter alphabet brassieres. In jeans, in skirts, in dresses, I like it. In pajamas, too. I'm working on liking it in swimsuits but it's funny . . .Harry always comments (positively) whenever I walk by him in a swimsuit. And it ain't my delicate wrists he's talking about. Ha.

"We flawless!"


Okay. There's my five. Now it's your turn.

You know? Affirming my body in this way just made me keep thinking of things I like about the one I have. Just like dogging yourself (and others)  can become a habit that rolls off of your tongue without you even thinking about it, loving yourself can be the same way. I was surprised to see that I could think of five more things I liked once I allowed myself. I think I'll do this with my boys tonight, too.

Alright. Delurk and give me five. Five things that you really, really like about YOUR BODY. Say something. . . . before you give up on you.

Go!

***
Happy Thursday, beautiful ones.

Now playing on my mental iPod. . . . .as sung to myself.


. . .and Sir Mix-a-Lot. . .as sung by the BHE. Ha. Go on and dance. You know you want to because even as misogynistic as this song is, it's impossible to not shake your donk to it. Ha ha ha. Now pardon me. . . . .


33 comments:

  1. 1. My hazel eyes
    2. My deep dimples
    3. My big breasts ( I use to be so ashamed of them. But they are mine and real! HA!)
    4. My hands
    5. My soft hair. (long, short, perm, natural) I love all of them.

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    Replies
    1. Love this, Tiffany. Yes, I'd agree that all of those things about you are beautiful. Not that I've been inspecting your "girls." Ha.

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  2. Hmmmm...
    1. My hourglass figure
    2. My 34 double Ds
    3. My freckles
    4. My lats in a wide neck shirt
    5. And my Frankenbelly: complete with the two surgical scars, stretch marks, and jiggle. Reminds me of what I went through & how far I've come.

    XOXO,
    Biz

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  3. I lke my feet....I have high arches and they look good. I was just looking at my legs today after jogging and I liked them...they are starting to get some shape to them again and that makes me happy. I like my height...5'8". I like my salt and pepper hair...short and spiky...kind of Jamie lee Curtis. I like that I am STRONG for being 60! The other day I was at a BBQ and there was a couple horse shoe contest....I was the ONLY woman that could throw the horse shoe to the other post without having to have a handicap....and I was the oldest woman there...ha! I think that is five...but I could go on...lol....fun post!

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    Replies
    1. OMG how badly I want to be 5'8". This is probably part of the reason I constantly wear heels so much. To make up for my hunger for height. And YES-YES-YES to your salt and pepper short hair cut! YES MA'AM!!!! And, of course to all of it. :)

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  4. I like my eyebrows -- they're black and arched just right even naturally. I like my hands -- they're large and strong. I like my skin because it has very few wrinkles and is very smooth and soft. I like my eyes because they're large and dark brown. And I like my breasts -- I guess -- because they're -- well -- sexy.

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    Replies
    1. Elizabeth. OMG how happy it made me to see that last line. And yes, your skin is absolutely bananas. Which means, it defies logic it's so pretty. I always think that when I see your photos. Not even kidding.

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  5. I like my hair; dark and ringlet-curly. I like my eyes, which are large and dark and expressive. My legs are long and strong, my brain comes through for me when I need it (can I be proud of my brain in this context without sounding insufferable??) and according to my husband I have a bodacious derrière even though it still seems a bit saggy to me. (No high alphabet letter brassieres here either!!)

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    Replies
    1. Now see? I didn't even know you had dark, ringlet curly hair which I love as an image. And let's hear it for the bodacious booty!

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  6. 1-My arms (I'm a hugger and they are strong), 2-my legs (I love that they can get me places and they are strong), 3-my butt (it is round and fits my body perfectly), 4-my breast (they are mine and they are beautiful), 5-my lips (I love it when they part and smile - at just about everything). #lovinglife

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You got this exactly right, DT. Love this whole list!

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  7. I like my hands because they are like my Mom's and my grandmother's. I like my booty in skinny jeans. I like my muscular calves. I like my smile. I like my arms.

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    Replies
    1. Perfect, Laura. Thanks for going public with it!

      Delete
  8. Wow... Okay. This is hard. The first thing is that I like that my body defied the odds and incubated 3 of the most wonderful humans that were ever born to man. I like that my body doesn't give up easily. I have had more than one doctor ask me how it is that I'm still alive. My body puts one foot in front of the other until I am out of the woods. I appreciate that. I like that my hand looks like my mother's. I have a hand fetish and I can look at my right hand and remember hers. I like that I have Calvert blue eyes. Sounds like kind of a bad thing when you remember the brown eyed, blue eyed experiment of the 1960's. But it ties me back to my ancient family. And finally I like that my reconstruction surgeon did a masterful job of reconstructing my breast. Even my doctors admire his work. My dermatologist asked me who did the surgery when his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. I know, a sad lot. But I have Calvert blue eyes. I can look at ancient portraits and see my eyes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love it, Lisa. And those eyes are a beautiful thing to love.

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  9. Butt, eyes, hands (wrist, fingers, nails), neck, legs when I wear heels :)

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    Replies
    1. You BETTA WORK!!!!! Awesome, Livia!

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  10. I love my thick, but toned arms. I love how my stomach is starting to show definition. I love my smile/lips. I love my boot-ay in dresses/skirts. I love my 44DDDs. :)

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    Replies
    1. Nice, girlfriend! And tell me, when do letters reach triple digits versus climb up the list? Said the woman at the front of the alphabet. Ha!

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  11. My eyes, my smile, my toes, my calves and my hair. After reading the blog entry I will adjust my list to stretch beyond my hair/eyes. I love my shoulders and my arms especially as I start to see muscle definition from my year + of strength training.

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    Replies
    1. Love it, Jana. And love the stretch beyond as well. :)

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    2. You're right, it's not easy, but important! I like my big blue eyes, and my long long lashes. I like my strong, white, straight teeth (never needed braces!), as well as my lips - they aren't too big or too small - just right! I like my breasts, which are also just right. I'm working on loving the rest of me. Sassy

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  12. 1. My eyes and 2. my nose. My nose is strong and my eyes are soft and brown, just like my mother's. 3. my waist and belly, even though they are a little soft and stretch-marked, they are mine 4. My 32Es because they are perky enough and just right 5. my butt, because it is big and round and curvy, and I've never dated a guy who wasn't enamored with it. Blushing slightly but I'm going to encourage my girlfriends to make these lists too. :)

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  13. Lets see...
    I have huge big brown eyes, super long eyelashes (give me a good mascara and eyelash curler and they almost look fake, great hair (the girl who cuts my hair loves me), my feet (I am a large boned and athletically built and my feet are the only thing on my body that is long, narrow and skinny/bony), my 34 DD's (there was a time I HATED them but I like them now) and my...ahem...well defined booty (it runs in the family and again, used to HATE it, but I have growned to love it, especially in jeans).

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  14. 1-I love the arteriovenous malformation on my left hip and "seat cushion." It is raised, sweats when I'm hot, and might be unsightly to some; but hey we've been together since birth and it is unique to ME.

    2-I love (and appreciate) that my body quickly metabolizes food. I have a very healthy diet/lifestyle, and my metabolism makes it easier to eat what I love and and enjoy some indulgences every now and then without feeling guilty.

    3-I love my hands, especially my long fingers and my nail beds. I have my mother's hands and I love her hands too. I love keeping my nails polished, it's so lady-like to me.

    4-I love my body's largest organ...MY SKIN! I love the color, the look, the feel. I love the many moles and scars, too. The moles I get from my maternal grandma; the scars from life...they tell so many stories.

    5-I love my neck and shoulders. My neck isn't too long or too short, it's just right. My shoulders are broad, bronzed, and perfect for strapless dresses...

    This was great, thanks!

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  15. 1. My super curly ringlet hair that makes me look much younger than my years--I'll take it! 2. My long eyelashes 3. My hips 4. My large breasts 5. strong legs

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  16. Legs that can run marathons, hands that heal, hips that have carried my son, thick dark hair that makes me feel feminine, my big ol' behind that my husband is very happy I have :)

    I remember a while back you challenged us all to not say negative things about ourselves or our bodies for a month and it was awesome. I might need to do that... especially going into the postpartum period soon where all I see are my tiger stripes these days (aka stretch marks up the wazoo!)

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  17. I love my brain (I'm one of the smartest people you will ever meet, and yet, maddeningly, also one of the stupidest LOL), my beautiful hazel eyes, my butt, my hot tig ole bitties, and finally all of my internal organs. Despite having SLE, Scleroderma, Crohn's, CIVD, and about 14 other diagnoses, they haven't turned against me yet! :)

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  18. My hair, especially now that it's all "pewter & dark chocolate"; my toes, which are cute and fun to look down and see bright color on; being short and square (took a long time to reach that, I am almost 60!); my butt, which is cute in jeans; and having incubated and hatched our two great boys, despite two high-risk pregnancies. Thank you so much for making me think about this!

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  19. 1. My stomach - it's a little softer than I'd like but is the result of carrying 3 beautiful babies that I was told I'd never get to do.
    2. My booty - it grew to just the right size for me because of those babies.
    3. My neck - it's a little long but so graceful to me.
    4. My legs - they are long and slender and look beautiful in heels.
    5. My hair - I never appreciated my dark brown ringlets until I was an adult.
    - Bridgette

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  20. My hands; skin; smile; shoulders; calves.

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  21. Wow. I appreciate what my body can do (legs that can walk, hands that can grasp), but I don't think there's really a physical part of me that I can say I like. Yes, I AM very hard on myself, true, but it's often a result of feedback from others whose opinions and actions I do value.

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"Tell me something good. . . tell me that you like it, yeah." ~ Chaka Khan

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