Wednesday, August 31, 2011

How'd it go?

Okay, y'all!  It's August 31--the last day of the No-Self-Hateration Pledge Campaign.  We had lots of pledges, too!

Give ya'selves a hand! 

Well?  Well?!? How'd you do?  Did you fight the urge to hate on yourself? Did you find it impossible not to call your butt big or your tire spare?  Did you struggle with not insulting that lovely nose with the big bump that you inherited from grandma or cracking jokes on that scary second toe that's curiously longer than your big toe, or pointing out to your best friend that eh, you think you do look good for your age but your hands look old. Don't my hands look old? No? Are you blind? They're horrible.


Did you discover that it's more fun to be alright with yourself than not?  That your curves are actually kind of like Beyonce's (depending upon who you ask and how much they've had to drink) and that, actually, part of Beyonce's appeal is that no matter what she has going on, she totally OWNS it.

And isn't it funny how that person who is clearly imperfect or dealing with all kinds of everything who just decides to OWN it instead of drinking all that self-haterade . . . .isn't it funny how they always somehow pull it off?

That person could (and should) be you. For reals.

Look. We're all works in progress. But the point is that self hatred/self deprecating behavior/self picking-yourself-apartedness or whatever you want to call it, is like feeding yourself poison and expecting not to feel sick.

I think I'm just going to try to keep rolling with the pledge. I had several close calls--okay, straight up lapses--where I let some negative commentary slip while putting on my clothes. But mostly, I did okay. And I liked the idea of being kind to myself. It felt pretty darn good, actually.

On the way home from school yesterday, Zachary said, "Mom, you know what? I'm smart. You know I'm really, really smart to be only four. When I'm five, I'm going to be able to read inside my head without you hearing me because when you're smart you can do that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, Mom. And I am good at basketball even though I'm short. When I get taller I'm gonna be SUPER good. SUPER-DUPER good, right Mommy?"

"Fo' sho, Zachary."

I thought about the innocence of this declaration and wondered what I was or wasn't doing to foster him continuing to have that kind of positive self image. I didn't come up with the answer to that, but I do think being loving toward myself is a good start.  Not oblivious to my imperfections or complacent about areas of needed improvement.  Just loving in the meantime and in between time.

That's all I got.

I'd love to hear how it went for y'all or what your thoughts have been during these last two weeks!

Oh yeah--I got this, too.

I'll leave you with two excellent songs playing on my mental iPod today. Both are my go-to jams when I need to be reminded of why it's good to be alright with me. . . .

If you don't know the music of Miss Erykah Badu--fix that problem right here, right now by listening to this little sampling:

First up--"Cleva"  -- one of my favorite songs.  The lyrics are awesome--especially the end where she simply says over and over, "I'm alright with me. . . said I'm alright with me. . ."

"I got a little pot in my belly
and nowadays my figure ain't so fly
My dress ain't cost nothin' but seven dollars
but I made it fly--sh--I'll tell you why

'Cause I'm clever
when I bust a rhyme
I'm clever -- always on your mind
She's clever
and I really want to grow
but why come
I'm the last to know?"

. . . and another favorite from Erykah Badu -- "Bag Lady." Wow. The sista preaches on this one--do you hear me? P-REACHES. The song is essentially about how harboring all that negative energy (read: self-hate, an unforgiving spirit, anger, resentment, envy. . .)  can end up blocking your blessings. . . .whew! Steps on all kinds of toes, man! If you have a minute, watch this artistic video. It's amazing.

"Bag lady
You gon' miss your bus
You can't hurry up
'cause you got too much stuff
When they see you comin'
People take off runnin'
from you--it's true
Oh, yes they do. 

One day
All them bags
gon' get in your way
I said, one day
all them bags
gon' get in your way

so. . .pack light."

Have a cleva day. Oh, and pack light.


  1. Well I did not verbally insult myself a single time. Actually I barely insulted anyone. I insulted my dog a few times, if you saw what he was doing to my other dog you would totally understand. And I insulted my spouse once because I wasn't fast enough to come up with a suitable "Here's your sign" reference.

    This doesn't mean that I didn't think about insulting myself, especially given some really bad news yesterday, but I wanted to wait until the month was over so at 12:01 I am planning on letting loose with some pent up anger at yesterday's bad news.

    Hey at least I tried.


  2. M -- how about a brief holiday and then getting back on the wagon with me? I admit that I walked by a mirror last week and said, "You look a hot ass mess!" under my breath which was totally a flag on the play. I'm going to keep trying. . .

    I didn't insult anyone else either. I didn't realize what a good side effect that was!

  3. I tried, but the target is so big and wide. Ok,stupid, why are you standing at this counter. Can't you remember? type of thing. Turns out my sodium levels were at 124. I should have been at St. Joe's getting a bag of saline. Instead, I talked my pcp out of a hospitalization by promising to drink pickle juice and report in every week for blood tests. Sorry, but big ass is still in my vocabulary.

  4. I did pretty well -- slipped up once or twice and was called on it!

    Thank you for the inspiration -- I'm definitely more mindful of it, now --


"Tell me something good. . . tell me that you like it, yeah." ~ Chaka Khan

Related Posts with Thumbnails