Monday, January 27, 2014
Instead of Kool-Aid.
Here are a few pieces from a few of the conversations I had at Grady today:
Me: "You're looking good."
Her: "That's because I lost two hundred pounds."
Me: "Huh?"
Her: "Divorce, baby." (starts "raising the roof" with her hands)
Dang.
**
Him: "I brought my food diary like you said. I'm not doing so bad." (Hands me food diary.)
I study the diary in silence. I'm not even sure where to start.
Me: "Uhhh, okay. So instead of this Kool-Aid, how about water instead?"
Him: "No Kool-Aid? Awww man. I love Kool-Aid."
Me: "But sir? Kool-Aid doesn't love you. Kool-Aid don't love nobody."
*shared laughter*
**
Grady elder: "Hey there, Miss Manning!"
Me: "Hey there! It's good to see you, sir!"
Grady elder: "And you know what, sugar? It's good to be seen--and not viewed."
*shared laughter*
**
Grady elder: "Whatcho name is again?"
Me: "Dr. Manning."
Grady elder: "That's right. How you been doing, Miss Manning?"
**
Me: "I don't think we've met."
Grady elder: "Yeah we have."
Me: "Really? I'm sorry. Usually I remember people."
Grady elder: "It's okay. I'm wearing my young wig today so it probably threw you off."
Not to be confused with her old wig.
**
Me: "Hi! Long time no see!"
Grady elder: "Woooo. That dress make you look stout about the waist."
Me: "You think?"
Grady elder: "Mmmm hmmm. You 'specting or something?"
Me: "No ma'am."
Grady elder: "Okay. You probably just got that winter weight on ya."
Damn.
**
Him: "How was your weekend, Doctor?"
Me: "It was good. I ran a 15K race. Which is like 9 miles and some change."
Him: "You did what?"
Me: "Ran a race this weekend."
Him: "Nine miles?"
Me: "And some change."
Him: "Why in the hell would somebody run 9 miles if they ain't being chased? Sheeee-yit. No way."
*shakes his head extra hard*
**
Me: "Hey there, sir."
Him: (fanning his hands hard) "Uh oh. Hey there, Miss Manning."
Me: "You alright?"
Him: "Yeah. I jest let one go 'fore you came in. One a them silent-but-deadly types."
Me: "Beg pardon? Uuuhhh. . . .*cough* never mind."
Him: "Tried to warn you that it was the silent-but-deadly type. But y'all the ones said 'eat more fiber.'"
Right.
***
Me: "Did you see the Grammys last night?"
Grady elder: "The who?"
Me: "The. . .uhhh. . .nevermind."
Grady elder: "Oh! Yeah. . . I seen the part with Bee-yon-say. After that I fell on asleep."
*shrug*
Pretty much, me too.
***
Him: "So instead of Kool-Aid drink what now?"
Me: "Water."
Him: "Water?"
Me: "Water."
Him: "Have you had water? It don't taste like nothing."
Me: "Yeah. I guess it kind of doesn't, does it?"
*shared laughter*
Love. This. Place.
***
Happy Monday-pretty much-Tuesday.
Now playing on my mental iPod. . . My patient's ringtone on her phone today. She was a Grady elder which made this even more awesome. (She was happy, by the way.)
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Those were awesome -- my favorite is the one where you're told that you look a bit thick around the waist. Ha!
ReplyDeleteLOL I love the discussions you have with your patients. They are too funny and I'm sure make the day go by a lot faster. Congratulations on completing the 15k. I couldn't imagine taking that on.
ReplyDeleteI love your patients!! I lost 200 pounds ... classic!!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on completing the 15K!! You go girl!!!
Have a great week!!
Angie
These are priceless. Thanks for the laugh. That part about thick around the waist? Good grief, you're a skinny thing, I'd have to hide from that elder.
ReplyDeleteYes, and congratulations on the 15k race. What an accomplishment.
These literally made me LOL!
ReplyDeletethat was funny - Grady Elders sound kind of like the members of my senior fitness class. They say what they want when they want to whomever they want. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI laughed all through this. No wonder you love your work.
ReplyDelete