Monday, January 30, 2012

The Inquisition.



Isaiah:  "Mom, what is 'gay'?"

Me:  "Gay?"

Isaiah:  "'Gay.' What's that?"

Me: "Gay? Uhh. . .it means that you're happy."

Isaiah:  "No, the other meaning."

Me:  "Of gay?"

Isaiah:  "Yes, mom. I heard this boy say that the way somebody was jumproping was 'so gay'. The other boy that was jumping got really, really mad. Like really almost crying mad."

Me:  "Was he trying to be mean to him?"

Isaiah:  "I think so, Mom."

Me:  "Sounds like he was. Is he a friend of yours?"

Isaiah:  "Who?"

Me:  "The boy who was being mean. Or the boy who was jumping rope."

Isaiah:  "No. They were both older. Like maybe fourth grade. I know them, though. I was just there because we were out there playing."

Me:  "Oh.

Isaiah:  "So is that a bad word? 'Gay'?"

Me:  "When used like that it is. It's a very mean word when used that way."

Isaiah:  "Mom, that boy says 'stupid' a lot, too. And I think I even heard him one time saying a real bad word. One of the real ones that grown-ups use, not like stupid."

Me:  *coughing* "I don't want you to ever call somebody 'gay' like that or say what someone is doing is 'gay.' That's not cool. At all."

Isaiah:  "I didn't think so, Mom. It sounded mean how he said it. Why is it a bad word?"

Me:  "It's not always a bad word. But explaining what it means is kind of a mature thing to try to get you to understand. You know like how I say some shows on TV are mature?"

Isaiah: "Yes. Like 'The Family Guy' even though it's a cartoon."

Me: "Exactly. Like that. So when you get older I can explain why that word when used like that might hurt somebody's feelings. For now, just don't say it."

Isaiah: "Okay, Mom."

Me:  "I'm glad you told me, though."

Isaiah:  "Mom?"

Me: "Yep."

Isaiah:  "Can you take us to Target today to buy us a new toy with our allowance?"

Me: "No, dude. We just went. Remember?"

Isaiah: "'Dude' seems like a bad word when you say it."

Me:  "Well, it's not."

Isaiah: "You always say it when you say 'no' or you want us to hurry up or get out of your face."

Me: "Oh yeah? Alright, dude. Go ahead play and let Mommy finish reading her magazine."

Ha.

***

Happy Monday.

7 comments:

  1. You are such a wonderful and wise mom.

    -Lena

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  2. Tough issue; gracefully handled.

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  3. Grade school. Everything starts out so fresh and new, squeaky clean. Then that day comes when your child tells you he heard a bad word and you suddenly ache because some innocence was lost.

    You and your son shared a true quality moment there.

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  4. My kids go to a public school and are friends with many kids who have gay parents, so we had to have the talk pretty early. We also had to deal with the whole Prop 8 thing a couple of years ago, which, unless you were living in a hole, got very divisive. They took it in stride -- we didn't go into the sex part, just that sometimes women love other women or men love other men and that their father and I agreed that love was the most important issue and that people shouldn't be looked down on because of it. The word that really infuriates my kids, though, is "retard."

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  5. Lena -- Thanks!

    HMS -- Surprisingly it didn't feel so tough.

    Ellen -- Ain't that the truth.

    Elizabeth -- You're awesome. And yes, that word that infuriates your kids? It should never, ever be a noun.

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  6. The boy is quick. You taught him that a word can be bad based on the "intent" behind the word.

    And he called you on that, Dude. ;)

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  7. Nice lesson and sharing with your blog fans.

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