Friday, December 17, 2010

Work shoes.

"That's hot, babe."

Okay, so here's something I deal with in my household:

My (wonderful) husband believes that any shoe that is less than 17 inches tall should be reserved for work. When we went to the Jay Z concert a few years back--I kid you not--Harry had to give me a horsey back ride all the way to the car when it was over. Yes. He carried a grown woman for like six blocks, man. To this day, I do not feel guilty as I maintain that I was 100% taking one for the team when I got myself dressed that night. ("The team" = Harry.)  
There's just something about dolling up in heels that makes my husband's heart go pitter patter. And I'll admit--I like to make his heart go pitter patter. (Even if it renders me in need for emergent orthopedic surgery.)
Happy spouse, happy house.
Dreadful platforms with a wooden heel? Perfect for a night on the town. Darling little kitten heels? Fuggeddaboudit. If it ain't "car to bar"-- my husband deems it a "work shoe."


That said, my usually uber-sweet husband takes great pride in unleashing some real zingers on me when it comes to my collection of quasi-fashionable work shoes. (Good thing I have such a positive self image when it comes to my "orthotics.")

"Aren't these cute, babe? Come on!"

"Yeah. Cute if you're going to Grady."

"I get a lot of compliments on these, you know!"

"Uuuuhhh, okay."


So today I'm reflecting on work shoes and what they say about you before you even utter a word. . . . here's my take on it. . .complete with a nice little Harry commentary for your entertainment.

"Work shoes?"

"People really compliment those?"

This shoe says:
  • "I am rounding but I still would like to maintain at least one iota of style.
  • "However, that style must also be vomit-proof hence the shiny finish."
  • (If you ask Harry) "I am on my way to go work in a hospital in my fashion-orthotics."

"Nice little shoe to wear to walk to breakfast on Saturday."

This shoe says:
  • "I am a wannabe chic resident or an intern who is on call today."
  • "And I am hoping and praying that my attending is not 50 or older or else I will be chastised about these shoes."
  • "I don't run or do any form of exercise."
  • "I hope that the really, really cute (fill in the blank) will notice how cute I am in my cool sneaks and start crushing on me."
  • "I hope that my belligerent and inappropriate patient in restraints will not notice how cute I am in my sneaks and start hitting on me."

"I hope that's for work."

 This shoe says:
  • "I know, I know. . . I'm working in the hospital. But can't a girl still wear a heel?"
  • "Even if it's a lame, Mary Poppins-esque heel, it counts."
  • (If you ask Harry) "I am on my way to work. Why else would I own this shoe?"
  • "And especially, if it weren't a work shoe . . . .why would you own this shoe in two different colors?"
"The only thing worse than that shoe in black is that shoe in brown."

    "That's a nice work shoe, babe. . . "

 This shoe says:
    • "I am secretly the Carrie Bradshaw of the hospital--wearing my 3+ inchers to Grady like it ain't nothin'!"
    • "But seriously? I'm really here to sign a few charts and sit in a meeting. Otherwise I would require another horsey back ride out of the hospital."

      "Uggh. Orthotics."
    This shoe says:

      • "I am an intern."
      • "I am a resident."
      • "I am an ER doctor."
      • "I am a nurse who is at work."
      • "I am an attending who just had bunion surgery or who has plantar fasciitis."
      • "I am a medical student who wants to 'look the part' on my clinical rotations so I bought a $130 pair of horrid shoes with adorned with staples."

      steely glare without comment

         This shoe says: 
        • "I just quit my job at the hospital or withdrew from medical school so don't care if you see me in these."
        • "I compost." 
      "Grounds for divorce." ~ Harry

      1 comment:

      1. Thank you for this fantastic,creative and hilarious post. It is so right on!!! My husband wants me in stripper shoes all the time...doesn't understand how hard it is to run to a code or even walk around town in those shoes.

        Your pics are classic. I do wear heels but the first thing I do at home is put on socks.

        Harry and Craig would get along just fine!!!


      "Tell me something good. . . tell me that you like it, yeah." ~ Chaka Khan

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