Friday, February 5, 2010

Verbatim at Grady: Respect Thy Elders



In the clinic. . . . .

Me: What's the key to living this long?

Grady Elder: It's simple, baby. . . you listenin'?

Me: Yes, ma'am

Grady Elder:

On the wards. . . . . .

Me: Good morning. . . .Just wanted to come by and see about you this morning. . .

Grady elder: Damn, yo' hands is cold!


In the lobby. . . . . .

Grady elder: 'Xcuse me, baby, can you do me a favor?

Me: Yes ma'am

Grady elder: Can you please reach around here and scratch my back?

Me: Beg pardon?

Grady elder: Can you scratch my back?

Me: Uh. . .sure why not. . . .(scratching through her shirt). . .how is that?

Grady elder: Up some

Me: (still scratching, still standing in the middle of the atrium and late for clinic)

Grady elder: Over some. . .

Me: How is that?

Grady elder: A little bit harder. . . .yeah. . .there you go. . .

Me (in my head): Seriously? Seriously.


In the clinic. . . .

Me: Hey there. . .come on back. . . thanks for keeping your follow up appointment. I know a week is a short time.

Grady elder: No problem, Miss Manning! I feel much, much better!

Me: Oh, that's great! So the medication helped with your hip pain?

Grady elder: Did it help!? Chiiiiiiile. . . . I'll show you, Miss Manning! (jumps out of her chair, I PROMISE, and commences to do "the stanky leg" dance.)

Me: Wow, you DO feel better.


On the wards. . . . .

Me: What's the key to staying married so long?

Grady elder: If you gon' stay true to your vows you got to remember one thang.

Me: What's that?

Grady elder: You gets married based 'pon your feelings, you stays married based 'pon your willing.

Me: That's what's up.


On rounds. . . .

Grady elder: Why you wear your hair so short?

Me: Beg pardon?

Grady elder: Your hair. Why you cut if all off like a little boy?

Me: Uh, I don't think it looks like a little boy.

Grady elder: I do.

Me: Well, fortunately, I generally choose my hairstyles based upon what I think.

Grady elder: Well you need to worry about what a man think. And a man don't like when a woman cut her hair off like a little boy.

Me: Is that right?

Grady elder: Yes. (not even flinching or the least bit apologetic.)

Me: Actually, my man likes my hair, and I think I'm going to go with what he thinks on this one instead of you, okay?

Grady elder: You got a smart ass mouth.


At the hospital entrance. . . .

Me: Good morning!

Grady elder: All riiiiigggggghhht. (Note: I never asked the question "How are you?")


In a hospital bed. . . . .

Grady elder: I was born at Gradys, I had all my babies at Gradys and I don't go no where BUT Gradys when I'm sick. This is MY hospital. And y'all is MY doctors.

Me: That we are. :)


  1. I should do a similar blog on what the vets at the VA have been saying to me this month. I love me some crotchety old men.

  2. This post was great, Kim! Elders are something else aren't they? Full of wisdom and not afraid to let you know. Best of all...they don't apologize for being who they are! I love it!!

  3. You do got a smart "A" mouth with that tomboy haircut LOL LOL LOL LOL

    I love this blog..

    Poop Deck

  4. ok kim- made my day!!!
    i was laughing so hard at all of them!!
    thank you and merry christmas!! and happy new years!!


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