Top Ten: Bye Felicia!

Okay, so check it. The other day I was talking to one of my two Grady BFFs and uttered this slang statement in passing. I could tell from the expression on Lesley's face that she wasn't familiar with that phrase, although the contextual clues mostly gave it away enough for her to follow me. What's funny is--when I said it, it didn't even sound like slang to me. Well, wait. I take that back. It did, but I guess when I am speaking to black folks, there is just this understanding that some words and phrases we all just sort of know.

Now.

Let me just be clear on one major caveat. There IS a genre thing with a lot of this stuff. So, yeah, there will be things my mom and dad will have NO idea about that my siblings completely follow. And since my friend Lesley is my age, that got me thinking. And since I am so very dedicated to cultural competency, I thought this would be a great time to pluck this into a little top ten while watching the Oscars. Especially since 95% of the following will be exactly what is discussed when I am in the hair salon on Wednesday.

I bring you:

THE TOP TEN PHRASES THAT I ASSUME PEOPLE KNOW BUT AM NOW REALIZING THAT THEY DON'T SINCE EVERY PERSON I KNOW ISN'T A BLACK WOMAN BETWEEN THE AGES OF 25 AND 55 NOR A PERSON WHO FREQUENTS MY HAIR SALON.

Like to hear it? Here it go!

Hey:  For funsies--let me know how many of these you were familiar with and have used and share your score.

#10  Phrase: "That's a good look." 

No, this is not referring to your outfit or new hairstyle. This phrase refers to anything that relates to something that goes in your favor, particularly when another person has assisted in making said thing happen.

"Hey! I thought you had to work today and couldn't come to the Oscar watching party!"

"At the last minute Shanta agreed to cover my team. And said I don't even have to pay her back."

"Damn. That's a good look, dog." 

"I know, right?"

Or

"Where are your kids?"

"Girl, my mama agreed to keep them for the whole three-day weekend."

"Dag. That's a good look right there."

"No doubt."

#9  Phrase:  "I ain't even mad."

Does this mean that your spouse can relax since you are in a good mood? No, not at all. This is just a way of saying that you don't blame someone for doing something or that you approve of whatever it is they've decided to do. Let me make sense of it.


"I traded in my SUV for a two door Kia."

"I ain't mad at you for that. Gas is expensive."

"Well, not really anymore. But it might get expensive again."

"Fo sho."

Or

"Did you see Bruce Jenner on the cover of People? He's transitioning to a female." 

"You know what? I ain't even mad at Bruce for that. You gotta live your life and be true to who you are."

"I feel you  on that."

(Hmmmm. That reminds me that "feeling" somebody should be added, too. But you get the point.)

#8  Phrase: "That face was beat."

Just literally said this to a friend tonight. On social media while watching the Oscars. Did the woman to which we were referencing have a black eye? Nope. Quite the contrary. "Beat" refers to someone having a perfect application of makeup. Either by a professional or by their very careful hand.

"I didn't like that dress Kim Kardashian wore on the red carpet."

"Yeah, but that face was BEAT though."

"BEAT, girl."

"All the way down, chile."

And tonight:

"Jennifer Lopez looks pretty tonight."

"And that face is BEAT, do you hear me?" 

"Girl, what you saying! That make up artist beat her unconscious, chile!"

(These are the important exchanges I have during awards shows.)

#7  Phrase: "Bye Felicia!"

Sigh. Where do I start? Okay. So there's this cult classic movie that many of you are already familiar with called "Friday." There is this one scene in it where this neighborhood nuisance is bothering Chris Tucker and Ice Cube and as she keeps trying to talk to them, they finally end it by saying, "Bye Felicia!" Somehow, someway this became the way of telling people to shut up and keep it moving. Particularly when they are talking nonsense or are just working your nerves. Google "Bye Felicia" just for kicks.

"Did you hear Sarah Palin talking on TV the other day?"

"Mmmm hmmm. And I was like, 'Bye Felicia!'" 

"Me, too, girl."

Or

"Some man was on the cover of USA Today with a shirt on that said, 'I CAN BREATHE.'"

"Anyways. Bye Felicia!"

"I know, right?"

Also see: "Girl BYE!" (similar use)

#6  Phrase: "I feel some type of way."

This is actually the one I said to Lesley. Ha ha ha.

Sigh. This is a line from this rap song that is aptly titled "Feel Some Type of Way." I have no idea what the song is really about. But the term "feeling some type of way" has stuck and is used to describe any complex emotion that you can't place a finger upon.

"Did you go out with him again?"

"Naaaw girl. He kept texting somebody on our first date and I felt some type of way about that."

"Yeah. Not a good look, girl. I ain't mad at you for that."

Or

"Girl, let me get to my mama to pick these kids up 'fore she feel some type of way about me being late."

"Yeah, you better hurry up, girlfriend."

#5  Term: "Crumbsnatchers"

A universal term known by black folks to describe small children. I've mentioned it on this blog before so don't count it if you learned it here.

"Did you invite Jane to brunch?"

"No, girl. She always springs her crumbsnatchers on you at the last minute."

"Ooooh. So true. Not a good look."

#4  Phrase: "He could get it."

Ha ha ha. I am adding this one against my better judgement. This is the term used to describe any person--usually a celebrity--who is extremely attractive.

"OMG. Mark Ruffalo didn't win the Oscar!"

"Yeah but Oscar or no Oscar, he could definitely get it."

"Fo sho."

Or, while watching TV with the BHE:

"You know? Jennifer Anniston could get it."

"Oh yeah?"

"Her and Eva Longoria."

"I can see that." 

#3  Phrase:  "Sit down somewhere." or "Take several seats."

Ha ha ha. This funny little phrase is used a lot of ways. But mostly when you are tired of someone or they are just doing too much. Sometimes they deserve this phrase but sometimes they don't. Case in point:

"Ugggh. LL Cool J is hosting the Grammys again? I wish he would just sit down somewhere."

"I know, right? Him and Jennifer Hudson."

"Ha ha ha ha, I know! She sang the first two notes and I was like, 'Bye Felicia!'"

"Yeah, chile. She needs to take several seats."

LOL

#2  Phrase: "I'm cool."


Not like you think. This describes somebody or something that you've put on ice or a relationship you've redefined. Usually out of awareness or necessity.

"Would you like a Bloody Mary with your omelette?"

"Naaaah. I'm cool on vodka. It gives me a headache and a hangover."

"Gotcha. Hey, why weren't you at the book club yesterday?"

"I'm cool on that book club, man. The woman who organizes it said something crazy to me and I felt some type of way about it." 

"Awww damn."

"Plus I didn't read the book anyway."

#1  Phrase:  "I can't."

This is one of my absolute favorites. "I can't." The phrase for when you are at a loss for words at something being so foul.

"Oh Lord. Is Lady Gaga about to sing The Sound of Music? I just can't, girl."

"She sounds good to me."

"No way. She needs to sit down somewhere. Honey, I just can't." 

"Really? I thought that was a good look for them to have her sing that tribute!"

Bonus:

Phrase:  "She DID that."

Emphasis on DID. Anything someone did really, really well, you say it just like that. Especially if it is remarkably better than anything else you've seen in a long time. Case in point:

"John Legend and Common sounded great at the Oscars!"

"Yeah, they DID that."

Or

"I love those photos from your birthday party, girl!"

"Thanks!"

"Who did your make up? That face was BEAT, do you hear me?"

"I did my own make up!"

"You did? Even the lashes?"

"Surely did."

"Damn, girl. You DID that."

LOL LOL

See? I don't make this stuff up.

You are now officially ready to go with me to the hair salon this week. Woo hoo! I know I forgot some good ones but this is a start.

How'd you do? 10/10? 5/10? 0/10? What say you?


***
Happy Sunday.

Top Ten: Random Rules on a Rainy Monday.

Lots in my head but with very little rhyme or reason to it. Tonight I'm thinking about some extremely unimportant and random rules in my life--some of which I've already defined and others of which I could use some input from smart people like you. Life needs rules, people. Rules, I say!

And so, I bring you:

THE TOP TEN QUASI-IMPORTANT RULES THAT I HAVE EITHER MADE ALREADY OR THAT I AM TRYING TO MAKE AT THIS MOMENT WITH YOUR HELP. 

Like to hear 'em? Here they go!

#10  The Rule on not hazing people you haven't talked to in a while

With the holiday season comes phone calls from folks you haven't spoken to in some time. And inevitably, at least one of the people you speak with will spend the first twelve minutes of the first phone call they've had with you for the last twelve months hazing you about how you haven't called, emailed, texted, visited--you name it. Here's what I have to say about that:

Cut. It. Out.

Sometimes it's right out in the open.  "You haven't called me. My feelings are hurt." That's mostly awkward and--dare I say it? Annoying. But most times it's super passive-aggressive which is exponentially more annoying.

Case in point:

"Hey there!"

"Whaaaaat? You answered the phone? I can't BELIEVE it. I thought you might have died or moved to outer space. I wondered if I even had a [niece, nephew, friend, cousin, neighbor] at this number any more!"

"Uhhh, yeah. . .okay. So how are you?"

"I'm okay. But it's a good thing I AM okay. If I wasn't doing good or was on my death bead YOU wouldn't have known. Ha ha!"

"Yeah. Okay."

What you're really saying in your head is: "Ha ha, hell."

Ugggh. Then there's the:

"So and so asked me about you and I told them that you don't fool with any of your old friends like me." 

My chin reflexively hits the "end call" button when this happens. Or drops my phone under my care seat.

So here's the rule: Just say "hi" and keep it moving. If someone has pissed you off enough to have you feeling some type of way when you call--then DON'T. Please. For the love of all that is pure, if you do call--just fight the urge to lament about not talking.  Not only is it unpleasant, it is never, ever welcomed. (Nor is it an effective way to get someone to call more. )

Cut. It. Out.

#9   The Rule on bathing your kids (or not bathing them.)

I need to know something. What is the rule on kids bathing? My kids have somehow come up with this very convoluted system that was not authorized by my husband or me. Essentially they have decided that in the winter, they shower or bathe every OTHER day. Zachary explains that it is because you don't sweat so much and your skin can get too dry. Isaiah doesn't even bother with an explanation.

They do have one caveat: If you had practice for a sport that night, you need a shower. But only if it is the kind of sport that makes you stinky. For example, a golf lesson gets you a pass. Now. Come summer, the rules are different. Showers every day--unless you didn't go outside.

Sigh.

I want to know what y'all are doing. Also I want to know if you just let your kids have at it in the shower or are you policing the scrub down situation? I am finding that my son Isaiah will use an entire bottle of shampoo on his afro but will neglect to wash his feet with soap. "They get clean from standing in the shower."

Uhhh okay.

#8  The Rule on certain Video Games

Okay. So there's this video game that my kids recently got turned onto called "Animal Jams." And by recently I mean in the last few days. It's on the National Geographic website which has to be safe, right? Well. I noticed that my kids--particularly my older one who isn't into things like Madden--seemed to be spending an AWFUL lot of time playing this game. Like, it took him away from Minecraft which absolutely is the equivalent of an act of God.

So yesterday Isaiah is asking me all these questions like, "What does BRB mean?" or "Mom! Does IKR mean 'I know, right?'"

So I'm all like, "Dude. Who are you talking to?" And it turns out that this is like one of these multiplayer on line games where you're basically hanging out and chatting with people--but as animal avatars. I immediately felt uncomfortable with that. I started doing my homework and discovered that, duh, all kinds of shadiness goes down on this game the longer your kids play it. And so. I basically shut  it on down and made it a "no."

Have you guys made any rules on certain video games? Which ones? If you have or haven't how do you control this sort of thing?

#7  The Rule on notifying people when you're in their town

This is another holiday thing. People come to towns and get busted off of social media.

"Hey! You in the ATL? WTH???"

And, of course, by the time the person gets the message they're back home. Or worse still in town but feeling guilty.

I think the rule is that it's cool to get a phone call but there shouldn't be pressure to go over the river and through the woods to see you. Atlanta is humongous. Someone might be in, like, Acworth or Peachtree City--both of which are nearly 45 minutes to an hour out of Atlanta proper. I'm the friend that is cool with the phone call and delighted if it leads to us seeing one another. But I do my best not to haze folks.

See #10.

What do y'all think about this? What's the rule? Am I tripping? People over 40 know a lot of people, man. It's hard sometimes. Especially in a town like Atlanta.

#6  The Rule on Group Texting

Let the record show: I am NOT against the group text. But. I am not a fan of being group texted along with seventy five people that I don't know. Especially when seventy four of them respond and they come as random individual texts to me alone that make no sense.

"Yeah girl! I feel you!"  from 678-555-1212

And I'm like, "Uhhhh, okay."

Furthermore, there needs to be a rule on who can be on texts together. Like, I made the mistake of sending a text to four women friends--three of whom are my sorority sisters that all know one another and the other my best friend who is not a member of our sorority nor is she familiar with the other three. Two months later, a text comes to that same thread that assumed it was all Tuskegee Deltas.

Whoops.

Okay. So the rule is this:  Try to limit people who don't know each other being on the same threads. More than like seven people feels very uncozy, man. Reply ONLY to who sent it--especially if five of the numbers aren't listed as names in your phone. Those are my immediate rules.

Some folks don't want to be group texted at all. I wouldn't go that far. But what do you think? What's your rule on group texts?

#5  The Rule on Smart Phone Wars

I feel like the people I know with Galaxy phones (read: THE BHE) love to argue with you about how it is better than the Apple iPhone. While I do agree that the camera on the Galaxy is BOSS, it still has one major flaw: It isn't an Apple.

I admit. I've gulped down the Apple Kool Aid. But can we all just agree to have the anti-Apple people stop busting us over the head with the reasons why they jumped ship? Or never boarded ship?

I'm just saying.

#4  The Rule on the "Read" Stamp on the iPhone

Speaking of the iPhone.

Hey. Did y'all know that the default setting on the Apple iPhone for text messaging is to include this thing at the end of your text messages that indicates that you've seen it and read it? So like, if you're busy and you see it but you don't immediately respond, you look like you're ignoring the text. And if you are ignoring the text, then the person knows it.

Uhhh yeah.

So unless you are perfect with your rapid response situation with texts, I'd recommend going in your settings and shutting that off. Unless you want to be in a #10 conversation all over again.

*You're welcome*

#3  The Rule on Santa's Representatives

My kids are somewhere in between believing in Santa and not believing in Santa. I think the first thing to go, though, is the level of respect they offer to the Santa representatives found in malls, special events and gatherings. For lack of any better way of saying it, my children have pretty much decided that the "fake Santas" can kick rocks.

Maaaan, please.

We were at our annual "Breakfast with Santa Claus" event with our Atlanta Chapter of Jack and Jill earlier this month. In walks Brother Santa in his suit and a legit white beard growing out of his face. The kids were dressed all super cute in sweaters and "holiday attire." That line formed quick for the photo ops and I was hoping and praying that the Manning boys would do their mom a solid just this one time.

Not.

"Seriously, mom?"

That's all Isaiah said when I asked if he'd go take a photo. That is, right before he began breaking down how confusing it is for children to have these fake Santas with real beards, fake beards, brown skin, white skin, real bellies, and pillow bellies. "I bet he doesn't look anything like the old fashioned Santa in that old outfit."   At which point I began imagining Santa in a red and white Adidas warmup suit with six pack abs.

Next I tried the Z man who said, "Yeah, I'm good."

I got all excited like, "Really? You'll do it? You're good!? Yay!!"

Zack squinted his eyes and cocked his head sideways while eating a chocolate covered fruit on a stick. "Uhhhh. . . . no, mom. I meant I'm good on the whole fake Santa thing. We don't believe in the fake Santa Clauses."

The people behind him were on the way to see fake Santa.

Sigh.

You know what? I don't think my kids have ever shown love to the Santa reps. Like ever. What do you guys do with this? What's the rule on fake Santas. I don't fight to keep that dream alive at all. And I'm losing steam on the other Santa, too.

I'm just saying.

#2  The Rule on Christmas Trees and Decorations

Are you guys #teamrealtree or #teamfaketree?

When I lived in Shaker Heights, Ohio, real trees were against the law because they were a fire hazard. Not even kidding.  For the last two or three years, I've had a real tree and have loved it.

And.

Who buys the real swags and wreathes? I always admire them but have never gone out to get one. I always think it's something super rich and hoity, toity people do. But I'm probably dead wrong on that.

But that isn't the real question: The real question is--what is the rule on Christmas decorations coming down? I always thought before the New Year. But what do you guys think? And also what's the rule on the inflatable holiday items? Inflated all day or dead and flat during the day? I think I might be #teaminflatedallday.

Just curious. The deflated Santas and Frostys creep me out.

#1   The Rule on School Work over the break

When kids are on holiday and summer breaks, how much school related stuff should be required of them? Like, should they be reading an hour per day and limiting video games? Or should they just be able to do whatever the hell they want to do? I'm somewhere in the middle on this. I think the BHE is team #whateverthehellyouwanttodo.

I need somebody to weigh in. Especially people with grown kids that turned out alright. Also tell me whether or not I'm a horrible parent for letting my kids stay up until 10:30 during the break. (They're up right now.) I need a reality check, for real.

Bonus one:

I'm also still debating the rule on the "bold lip." Does a bold lip mean minimal accessories and other makeup? Or what? Or do you just do whatever makes you feel fierce? Hmmmm. And also what's the rule on how many wears a formal can get in the same city? This red dress should be retired and hung up in Philips Arena based upon number of wears.

But it is a great dress. That I can still fit. So will probably wear it again no matter what y'all say. LOL.


Looking forward to your insights.

***
Happy Monday.

Top Ten: Alright with me

I got a little pot in my belly

So now a days my figure ain't so fly

My dress ain't cost nothin' but seven dollars 

But I made it fly

And I'll tell ya why

But I'm clever when I bust a rhyme

I'm cleva. . . always on ya' mind

She's cleva and I really wanna grow

But why come I'm the last to know?

Alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, alright yeah

Alright with me

~ Erykah Badu

In general, I try to focus on the positive aspects of my life. Kind of like that bible verse says--whatever things are of good report, you know? To think on those things. Or something like that. So, yeah. That's essentially what I spend the majority of my time doing and hence, that is what gets the most airplay when I write.

But.

Everyone who is alive and not delusional knows even when we put most of our energy and sharing into the thumbs-up-worthy things, we are mere humans. We are full of shortcomings and screw-ups that don't always make it to the status updates on social media. And honestly? I don't really have a major issue with that. I guess because I recognize that humans are many layered and that, of course, there's some sticky parts that may not be on display. That said, every now and then those warm fuzzies can stack up so much that you start to wonder: Damn. Am I the only one who is screwed up around here?

And to that I say, "No! You are not!"

Matter of fact, I even wrote a little top ten about it. Today I bring you:

THE TOP TEN THINGS THAT I CONSTANTLY VOW TO WORK ON OR THAT I LOOK IN THE MIRROR, POINT AT MYSELF AND SAY, "CHILE, YOU GOTS TO DO BETTER" ABOUT ON A NEAR DAILY BASIS. (NOTE: THIS LIST IS MUCH LONGER THAN TEN ITEMS--CONSIDER THIS THE "HIGHLIGHT" VERSION.)

Like to hear it? Here it go!

#10   I rush my children.

Before I even hear the wrath of the zen, know that I have read the articles, heard the experts, and highlighted the books telling me not to do this. But. I have some serious dawdlers in my house. And the later I am, the more they stop for Lego pitstops. I wish I could say that it's just a simple, "Come on, bud" and that's it. Nope. Sure, it starts there. But then it escalates. Especially now that they are older. It sounds more like:

"Dude. Legos? Now? Really? Get moving! Let's go!"

and then:

"Seriously? If you miss this bus, it's not going to be a pretty sight."

No. I never express what that non pretty sight is exactly. But it gets referred to often.

I know it's not so good to rush my children. And Monday thru Friday, I know that I do. Wait. Sunday, too, because that's when we go to church. Oh well. I got to do better on that one.

#9  I am a laundry misfit.

I do not like laundry. As a matter of fact, if I win the lottery, I will first get a personal driver (I reaaaaaally don't like driving, either) and then a personal laundry person.

Ugggh.

Sure. I DO laundry. But I procrastinate on folding things up. And then I drag my feet on putting things up. And yeah, yeah, yadda, yadda everyone in my house should be doing it and they sort of kind of do. But mostly, I'm the laundry maven. Except I'm not a maven at all when it comes to that.

Oh yeah. Did I mention? At least once per month, I forget to move something from the washer to the dryer. I come down and the soggy load has been there for over 24 hours. At which point I have to rewash the load. Which is really not even environmentally good. I know. So, yeah. I'm trying to do better on that one, too.


#8   I don't get enough sleep. Like, ever.

I had a t-shirt in medical school that read: "Sleep is for wimps."  I have no idea where it is now, but it was a foreshadowing of my future. Somehow I'm wired to do just fine on limited sleep. I know that it isn't good for my health and that I need to try to do better. For some people, exercise is their nemesis. Like they try and try to make it a habit but they just can't. That's how it is for me but instead of exercise, it's sleep.

Here's the problem. I have more than 18 hours worth of stuff I want to do each day. And so. I end up averaging about 6 hours. It's so habitual now that even when I turn in early, I still pop up six hours later. I know it's not the best thing for my health. I have to do better with that.


#7  I over schedule myself. 

Like, constantly. And yes, I am smart enough to know that there are apps and people and ways to make a schedule less prone to this. But this list isn't about things that I find mysterious. It's quite the contrary. This is yet another thing that I know a few solutions to fixing but just have never quite managed to make happen.

Wait. Where am I supposed to be right now?

#6  I love a good phone conversation. But a lot of times I don't. Like at all.

It means that sometimes my phone goes to voicemail. Have I ever told you about how I'm the world's most extroverted introvert? I haven't? Well. That's a future blog post for sure. It's super weird. Like, I love a good face-to-face conversation. And when I'm in the mood for it, nothing beats a really, really good phone conversation. But a lot of times if I'd rather hold out for the face to face time. Or--dare I admit it--have a text exchange. Yes. A text exchange.

I'm good for a textapalooza sometimes. I can't explain it. It's just another one of those ways that I'm sort of jacked up.

#5   I'm a hit or miss recycler.

It's true. When I'm good I'm very, very good. But when I'm bad? Man. I'm horrid.

#4  I snap my gum.

Badly. In fact, unless I'm alone, I almost always have to just force myself to spit it out unless I'm willing to carefully remind myself over and over and over again from the moment I put the stick in my mouth NOT TO SNAP IT. Secretly, it sort of soothes me. Except it annoys and grosses out every other person within a few feet radius. Kind of like smoking cigarettes except not so hazardous.

Unless you count the person who wants to kick your ass for snapping it near them.

#3  My kids play video games too much.

Okay. Let me first just say that I think it's pretty awesome of me that I don't allow them to touch the television or video games during the school week. We call it "media fasting" and it's just sort of the lay of the land in our home on school days. I'm also proud of the fact that my kids don't get to touch my cell phone or their dad's for games or whatever. Which makes our lives much easier.

But. And there is a but. . . .come Friday? Those kids go hog wild. It's iPad's and Nintendo and Wii games--oh my! Sure, I'll walk in every few hours and yell out, "DEAR TIME!!!" Which means DROP EVERYTHING AND READ. And, okay, they do. That said, when it comes to the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendations on television and media rationing in our kids? Chile please.

Oh, and when they were toddlers I can't even lie--they had more than 30 minutes per day. Yup.

#2  I have more junk drawers than should be allowable by law. 

I also have a small junk cabinet that found a Candyland game in last week. Which should tell you how often I empty that thing out.

#1  I have a Target addiction. 

Well. Technically, I'm in recovery for that one. Last year I gave up Target for Lent which helped a lot. But seriously? Some folks have a bad day and go order a pizza. Or bust open a bottle of red and drink it in its entirety. Me? I go to Target. Yes I do.

There is something just so soothing about it to me. First, it's just so familiar. The bright lights and red accents lull me. The kids' section, the active wear, the all of it. I literally feel better when I leave.

Yup.

As a part of my recovery, I now go there with a list and clear intentions. This is a far cry from my previous TTRs (therapeutic Target runs) where I'd just show up and wander about aimlessly trying lipsticks on my wrist and smelling bath gels. I'm just saying--you, too, can overcome your Target addiction by just taking it one day at a time.


See? I'm all messed up really. Ha. But hey. . .aren't we all? And since misery loves company, why not share one of your jacked up things with me so that I'll feel better! Yes!

Or you could just laugh at me and not comment at all. I mean, either way, it's cool.

Here's the thing: We are all broken in one way or another. The real keys are self awareness and being alright with who you are. And me? I'm alright with me. And yes, I will keep on working toward more sleep, less junk drawers, strategic Target shopping and answering my phone. But until then, I will focus on being happy and not taking myself too seriously.

Oh yeah--the other thing is this: never miss the chance to inventory your good things, too. It's so easy to pick yourself apart, but why not make mental note of your strengths and unique gifts? Then think on those things, man. Whatever is true and of good report, man. You know?

That said, I can't resist sharing just one more. . . . .

Bonus one:

I often don't finish books. If it isn't a page turner, I often will stop after 75-100 pages. Slow starters? I never get over the hump of the slow start. And if it's a self help-ish kind of book? I just read it until I sort of get the gist of it then I stop. Terrible, right?

Now. If a book is AMAZING? I finish it. But if it's just aiight? No ma'am and no sir. I'm the chick at the book club meeting who keeps talking about the first 4 chapters but who can't comment on anything else.

Ha.

What y'all got?

****
Happy Sunday.

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, 

whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, 

whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; 

if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

~ Philippians 4:8 KJV

Now playing on my mental iPod. . . . Oh, how I LOVE the message of this song. It is so how I feel on most days.

Top Ten: Flight of Random Ideas.

Hi y'all!!

Life is busy right now. Very. When it gets this way, it's hard for me to stay at a story long enough to finish it. But that doesn't mean I don't want to write anything. Wait. Does that even make sense?

Oh well.

In medicine we call it "flight of ideas" when  a person jumps from subject to subject without any rhyme or reason to the discussion. In the blog world we call it being "random." Either way, when I get this crazy busy, I definitely wrestle with a flight of random ideas when it comes to my thinking and hence my writing. Matter o'fact, I even wrote a little top ten about it. 

Like to hear it? Here it go.

I bring you:

THE TOP TEN RANDOM THOUGHTS SWIRLING THROUGH MY HEAD ON MY CURRENT FLIGHT OF IDEAS WHIRLWIND MANY OF WHICH ARE NOT EARTH-SHATTERING, DEEP-THOUGHT-PROVOKING, OR EVEN WORTHY OF YOUR TIME

#10  Biking Boldness

I'm the first to admit that I'm no real biking guru. I do admire the folks who jump on them to go hither and thither. I like this idea of getting physically and cardiovascular-ly fit whilst being kind to the earth. I do.

But.

I have a confession. Please don't hate me, biker-people. Let me first say that I DO share the road. I make plenty of space for my two-wheeled travelers when heading down the streets in my car and I also try my best to be mindful of where they are. I do. 

But.

Sometimes? The Bike Nation can get pretty bold, man. Lately I've encountered my fair share of folks rolling right in the middle of the lane in front of me. No. Not making a left turn or anything but just trucking along. At, like, 17 miles per hour. When I'm late. 

Sigh.

I guess my confession is that I feel annoyed when that happens. I need to figure out how to reconcile the mad respect I have for what you are doing with the fact that you aren't in a car. Because maybe, just maybe, I've had a few choice words (in my head, of course) for you when I ride behind you on Briarcliff Road at a snail's pace.

I'm just saying.

#9  Football season has HIT THE BUILDING.

As we say in our house, "We 'bout that LIFE!"  Those entrenched in hip-hop youth culture will know this phrase. For the rest of you, it's this all-encompassing saying that can mean a whole bunch of things. Mostly it means being fully entrenched in the culture of something. Said culture might get one arrested if you are listening to certain references, but not our football one. 

Ha.

Look at these cleats, people. My son is HYPED, do you hear me? He's trying out for the travel team this year. When the boys were out in California, I sent Zachary some snapshots of cleats from the sporting goods catalog. He picked the Batman Cam Newtons. Why, you ask? 'Cause! WE 'BOUT THAT LIFE! So. Cannot. Wait.

And yes. My seven year-old son plays football and I'm okay with it. #nojudging #didyouseetheworldcup #theytotallygetheadinjuries #relaxpeople

 #8 Me-ma

This week was the anniversary of my maternal grandmother's passing. Here are some snapshots from one of the last really good conversations we shared. That day I was talking to her about hair, eyebrows, wrinkles, and everything else you can name. We were laughing and hugging and just yucking it up. It was actually a flight of random ideas that day. Which was fine with me.

My grandma was awesome.

#7 Not-so-cool Runnings

I have no idea why I'm smiling on this photo. Summer running for me has been a major chore, to say the least. Anything over 3 miles feels heinous. And before you ask why I would run more than 3 miles in the summer in Georgia, I'll tell you that I don't really have a great answer for you.

Oh, I'm cheap.

Yes, that. See, I signed up for a half marathon that's coming up. . .errrr. . . this Sunday. And once I've paid my hard-earned money, I'm going to get my moulah's worth. Yep. So yeah, I've been training. But it's been painful. The good news is that I'm running it with my very, very awesome sorority sister and friend, Glencia W. We pledged together in 1992 and she's absolutely hilarious. So that's going to be fun. She lives in Chicago so I'll also get to visit there.

Please wish me luck. And pray to whomever you pray to that I don't turn into "The Fly" on mile 12. Oh. You're too young to remember this movie scene? Well. Here you go.



Ha ha. You're welcome.

#6  #sister

Had this super cute necklace made for JoLai and myself. Isn't it, like, the cutest thing ever?

Oh. Did I mention? Mine came in the mail first. Umm. . .yeah. JoLai's hasn't yet. #actuallyabadsister




#5  The Medical Student Teaching Competition

How cool is this? Remember the Fellows' Teaching Competition that I told you all about? The thing where our fellows in training gave these 8 minute talks before a panel of judges for a prize? Well. Our awesome medical students have taken it upon themselves to organize a similar version for medical students.

I'm advising them but man! They are SO organized. They even have a website:

www.emorymstc.com

I'm so two thousand and late. They are SO 3008, man. Totally. They even had the bright idea to assign each student competitor a faculty coach/mentor. Kind of like that show The Voice. Ha. This photo above if of me with my mentee, Kelly A.  All I'm saying is this:

We. Are. Beast. Mode.

Have I mentioned how competitive I can be? Ha ha. It's on. Don't be surprised if Kelly comes swinging in on a flying trapeze in less than 8 minutes. I'm just saying.

Emory peeps! Be there or be square. man.

#4  The parental units.

My mom and dad are simply awesome. Even if my dad's fanny pack has gotten even larger in the last few years, he's still cool. And how can you not love a mom who photobombs your picture with her childhood teddy bear? I mean, seriously?

Best. Parents. Ever.

#3  Speaking of photos. . . .

Here is my little godson/nephew the other day who was introduced to the MacBook photobooth. This is one of twelve trillion photos. My lap top now has zero memory because a three-year old has taken it up with selfies. Oh and did I mention? He knew the word "selfie."

Seriously? Seriously.

#2   For my protection


How annoyed am I that every twelve months my bank keeps sending me a new debit Visa "for my protection?" Don't they realize that I have fifty ka-trillion things connected to my debit card that ALL get jacked up when they do this? Seriously, this is like the fourth time they've done this to me. And then it's all cryptic when I call to ask what, pray tell, prompted it.

"It's for your protection," the Siri-sounding lady says.

Maaaaaaaan. That's real, real annoying. Almost as annoying as the dude riding down Clairmont in the fast lane on his ten speed.

Ah hem.


#1  Ridiculous gifs

Every day, I send my sister JoLai a ridiculous gif via text. For absolutely no reason whatsoever. I find gifs to be absolutely hilarious. I also animate any and every text I can with them. This is particularly fun when someone is supposed to be behaving themselves but has taken it upon themselves to message me. I'm ruthless like that. Here's a sample of the awesomeness:

I'm not a fan of any of those reality women from Bravo. But dang they make some good gifs! Especially Nene Leakes and the other woman Quad from Married to Medicine. Kanye has some winners, too.

I also make my own just to torture my sister with. Here is one from right after my last ten mile run the other day. I had just run around Stone Mountain twice which is SUPER hellaciously hilly.

Ha.

Wait: Bonus item!

 

This BIG A bug landed on me when I was down in Florida for the fourth! OMG! My toe is there for size reference. The south is on something else. That thing was as heavy as a hamster! I sent a pic of it to our pest control man who just LOL'd at me and said it was a "ground beetle" and "harmless." 

I lost 4 pounds from the cardio workout I got from flailing around after seeing that damn thing on my leg. 

*thump*

Just fainted thinking about it again.

Ha. That's all I got y'all. Wish me luck on my run!

***
Happy Friday