Random thoughts on a fake snow day in Atlanta.

"Due to inclement weather, your kids' school will be closed for the second day in a row."

Maaaaan, I'm calling the automated message line back and leaving a message that says, "Due to the fact that I am very impatient and also have a whole bunch of stuff to do, I'm bringing my kids up there whether y'all like it or not."

Snow-day, shmoe-day.

Something tells me that this wouldn't go over so well. Ha.

Feeling sort of random so if you have anything remotely important to do, please stop reading here. I'm serious. This will do nothing to enhance your brain. But then again, sometimes things like that are welcomed aren't they? Yes indeed.

So let's see. Where to start? Oh, this:

Why is it that I am so, so annoyed with The Duggars family -- you know, the ones with the 19 children -- but paradoxically intrigued by the happenings of their family when shared in People magazine? So now the little Duggars are having babies and getting married. On the cover of my very important literature (People) is the one who just got married and the whole story is about her and her new husband.

Mmmm hmmm.

Yeah, so they didn't even kiss before they got married. And when they did kiss, they went and did it in private. So yeah, that was interesting. Man. That's kind of impressive to hold out on kissing. Being a bad kisser is SUCH a deal breaker, man. I'm glad it worked out for them. Or that it at least appears to be.

What next? Got to see one of my favorite former students a few weeks ago. It was so awesome. It never gets old to me when folks come back to town and call me to meet up. Kevin will always be one of my absolute favorites. He made me a better teacher and physician for sure.

Ha ha ha . . . I posted this on Facebook. . . this super romantic looking picture of the BHE and me from Valentine's day.

Followed by this next snap of our kids who were ON OUR DATE with us.

Funny how romantically perfect social media can make things and people look, right?

Yawn. What else? Oh yeah. Speaking of people not even being perfect. . .  I got what I deserved yesterday. Have I told you guys about my tendency to silently judge peoples' grocery baskets? OMG. I do it. I try to  keep my face all straight as they put stuff on the belt but deep inside I'm all like, "GIRRRRRRL!!! CUP O'NOODLES???" or "Do you have any idea how fattening prime rib is? Sir? Do you?"

Especially if they're in work out clothes. Which for some reason they usually are.

Now. This is completely independent of my own Cap'n Crunch, Hebrew National hot dogs, Eggo waffles and lemonade. I told you already--I judge THEIR baskets. There are perfectly good excuses for every bit of high fructose corn syrup and refined sugar in MY basket.

Mmmm hmmm.

So yeah. Yesterday I'm standing in line behind this lady who had on, of course, work out gear. Now me, I'm getting fake snow day staples like bread, milk and Reddi Whip whip cream. This woman starts pulling all kinds of stuff out of her buggy. Extra buttery microwave popcorn, Oreo double stuff cookies, fish sticks, a thousand different frozen meals, some Digiorno's pizza, a Graeter's ice cream, and like three or four packages of Jimmy Dean sausage biscuits.

Mmmm hmmm.

So I squint my eyes and try not to give a "chile please" smirk. And I secretly think she caught me doing the side eye so I tried to look all happy and sweet which, I think, worked for like two minutes.

Mmmm hmmm.

So she pays for her stuff and keeps it pushing. And I start checking out while watching her leave thinking, "That microwave popcorn is the devil." That is the devil in who will make you not be able to fit your Prada.

Mmmm hmmm.

So the person behind me starts putting their stuff up there. And this person was all UBER granola. Like every single thing was terrifyingly organic. Oh, did I tell you? My buggy judgement is on both sides of the pendulum. I hate on the unhealthy shoppers and equally hate on the super-duper healthy ones. Ha ha ha.

So yeah. This couple had a little kid in the front seat and she looked to be about four or five. And I am just looking and thinking, "That poor child. She is thinking, 'Can a kid just get a bag of damn Cheetos up in here?'" And OMG they even had some of those fake meat hot dogs and burgers.

Ick.

So yeah. In the midst of me sizing up everybody in Kroger and their pantry selections, the time comes for me to pay.

"Debit or credit?" the kind lady asks me.

"Either is fine!" I chirp back.

But then I discover that my wallet is in my other purse. And that I have no cash.

Mmm hmmmm.

So guess who had to be THAT CHICK who pushes her buggy to the side and vehemently apologizes? Uhhh, that would be me. And when I said, "Can you leave this right here while I run home to get my wallet?" I am 100% that little girl in the cart behind me curled her lips and gave me this expression.

Which was really what I sort of deserved.

Sort of, not fully.

Hmmmph. That's why all she gets for snacks is celery and she doesn't know what a Pop Tart even IS. See? Aren't I mature?

Heh.

What else? Oh. I remembered more slang when I was in the hair salon yesterday. The first is this: "In a bad way." This is when somebody wants to do something but it isn't going to work out. The person who says this is usually making it clear that they can't help nor will they with whatever said situation is.

Ha.

For example. Just yesterday while my hairstylist was on the phone speaking with a client who was talking so loud that I could hear everything from the chair:

"Sakinah! I got stuck at work. Can I still come?"

"Oh, boo, I'm getting ready to go after Kim. You were supposed to be here two hours ago."

"I know! Please, please, please!"

"You in a bad way. I can take you Friday but not today."

And that was that.

Here's another: "You tripped." 

That means you made the wrong decision and now you are regretting it. Or someone else made a bad decision and you are talking about them making the wrong decision. Ha ha ha.

"Jessica Simpson blew up after she got divorced from Nick Lachey. Her shoe and clothing business makes millions, man."

"Yeah. He tripped."

Whoops. That reminds me. "Blew up" does not refer to her weight. It refers to somebody succeeding financially or professionally.

"Girl, I start my new job next week. I'm 'bout to blow up."

"That's what's up, girl!"

Ha ha ha. Did y'all know those?

Here's one more which is so ridiculous but a regular piece of the vernacular: "Smelling yourself."

This describes when a person gets cocky either because they've grown a bit older or maybe that they've recently blown up. Ha. Maybe it has to do with hormones? Hmmm. Hell if I know. Here's an example.

"My son has lost his mind. He had the nerve to talk back to me last night."

"Really girl? What's that about?"

"I guess since he's a senior in high school he's smelling himself or something. I sure took those car keys though."

"Ha ha ha, he tripped!"

"Yeah and when he started looking all sad since he had a date planned I told him, 'Bruh, you in a bad way. You should've thought about that before you started talking crazy.'"

*High five*

Ha ha.

That reminds me. I may or may not have schlepped my children with me to the hair salon on fake snow day #1. And there may or may not have been at least three other children there with their moms on their fake snow days, too.

Mmmm hmmmm.

Ummm let's see. What else? Have you guys ever tried flavored balsamic vinegars and olive oils? I'm obsessed with them right now. So delicious. And low in sugar. The oils make your whole house smell amazing. Just ran out of my garlic flavored olive oil from Atlanta Olive Oil Company.

Must. Get. More.

Speaking of which: My grandmother on my mom's side once told me that if I wanted to be a good wife and have my husband come home to delicious smells in the home here's the trick: Just sauté some onions in a little oil. No matter what leftovers you're serving, the house smells like you are wife of the year. Hand over heart she told me that.

"So you just sauté onions no matter what you're cooking?"

"Yep. Especially when it's just leftovers."

"What if he sees the onions?"

"Oh, you put those up. Or dump them in the leftovers."

Yes. This was what my grandma told me and quietly, it is genius advice. That woman had a college degree in Home Economics and knew all the tricks of the trade. She was also married for longer than I've been alive.

So get you some onions at your local Kroger when you go. And some Reddi Whip.

Ha.

OH and last but not least. SPEAKING OF KROGER. . .  Y'all. Y'ALL!!! Did you know that in Atlanta they name all the in-town Kroger stores with nicknames? OMG. So funny. Okay, so check it. I'm talking to one of my residents who is trying to tell me where he was the day before on his off day. And as he is describing the restaurant he then says, "You know, right by Murder Kroger."

And me, I'm like WHAAAAT???

So it turns out that everyone knew this but me. Soooo. . .there's Murder Kroger in Fourth Ward/Downtown, Disco Kroger in Buckhead, Kosher Kroger in Toco Hills, Baby Kroger in Downtown Decatur and Hipster Kroger in East Atlanta. How funny is that?

Yep.

Yawn. I think that's all I've got for today. That and just a little more Stefon who is, in my opinion, SNL's funniest characters of all time.

Okay. That's it really. Thanks for wasting good time with me.

***
Happy Fake Snow Day to all. I hope you don't get hit by a fake snowball.

Top Ten: Bye Felicia!

Okay, so check it. The other day I was talking to one of my two Grady BFFs and uttered this slang statement in passing. I could tell from the expression on Lesley's face that she wasn't familiar with that phrase, although the contextual clues mostly gave it away enough for her to follow me. What's funny is--when I said it, it didn't even sound like slang to me. Well, wait. I take that back. It did, but I guess when I am speaking to black folks, there is just this understanding that some words and phrases we all just sort of know.

Now.

Let me just be clear on one major caveat. There IS a genre thing with a lot of this stuff. So, yeah, there will be things my mom and dad will have NO idea about that my siblings completely follow. And since my friend Lesley is my age, that got me thinking. And since I am so very dedicated to cultural competency, I thought this would be a great time to pluck this into a little top ten while watching the Oscars. Especially since 95% of the following will be exactly what is discussed when I am in the hair salon on Wednesday.

I bring you:

THE TOP TEN PHRASES THAT I ASSUME PEOPLE KNOW BUT AM NOW REALIZING THAT THEY DON'T SINCE EVERY PERSON I KNOW ISN'T A BLACK WOMAN BETWEEN THE AGES OF 25 AND 55 NOR A PERSON WHO FREQUENTS MY HAIR SALON.

Like to hear it? Here it go!

Hey:  For funsies--let me know how many of these you were familiar with and have used and share your score.

#10  Phrase: "That's a good look." 

No, this is not referring to your outfit or new hairstyle. This phrase refers to anything that relates to something that goes in your favor, particularly when another person has assisted in making said thing happen.

"Hey! I thought you had to work today and couldn't come to the Oscar watching party!"

"At the last minute Shanta agreed to cover my team. And said I don't even have to pay her back."

"Damn. That's a good look, dog." 

"I know, right?"

Or

"Where are your kids?"

"Girl, my mama agreed to keep them for the whole three-day weekend."

"Dag. That's a good look right there."

"No doubt."

#9  Phrase:  "I ain't even mad."

Does this mean that your spouse can relax since you are in a good mood? No, not at all. This is just a way of saying that you don't blame someone for doing something or that you approve of whatever it is they've decided to do. Let me make sense of it.


"I traded in my SUV for a two door Kia."

"I ain't mad at you for that. Gas is expensive."

"Well, not really anymore. But it might get expensive again."

"Fo sho."

Or

"Did you see Bruce Jenner on the cover of People? He's transitioning to a female." 

"You know what? I ain't even mad at Bruce for that. You gotta live your life and be true to who you are."

"I feel you  on that."

(Hmmmm. That reminds me that "feeling" somebody should be added, too. But you get the point.)

#8  Phrase: "That face was beat."

Just literally said this to a friend tonight. On social media while watching the Oscars. Did the woman to which we were referencing have a black eye? Nope. Quite the contrary. "Beat" refers to someone having a perfect application of makeup. Either by a professional or by their very careful hand.

"I didn't like that dress Kim Kardashian wore on the red carpet."

"Yeah, but that face was BEAT though."

"BEAT, girl."

"All the way down, chile."

And tonight:

"Jennifer Lopez looks pretty tonight."

"And that face is BEAT, do you hear me?" 

"Girl, what you saying! That make up artist beat her unconscious, chile!"

(These are the important exchanges I have during awards shows.)

#7  Phrase: "Bye Felicia!"

Sigh. Where do I start? Okay. So there's this cult classic movie that many of you are already familiar with called "Friday." There is this one scene in it where this neighborhood nuisance is bothering Chris Tucker and Ice Cube and as she keeps trying to talk to them, they finally end it by saying, "Bye Felicia!" Somehow, someway this became the way of telling people to shut up and keep it moving. Particularly when they are talking nonsense or are just working your nerves. Google "Bye Felicia" just for kicks.

"Did you hear Sarah Palin talking on TV the other day?"

"Mmmm hmmm. And I was like, 'Bye Felicia!'" 

"Me, too, girl."

Or

"Some man was on the cover of USA Today with a shirt on that said, 'I CAN BREATHE.'"

"Anyways. Bye Felicia!"

"I know, right?"

Also see: "Girl BYE!" (similar use)

#6  Phrase: "I feel some type of way."

This is actually the one I said to Lesley. Ha ha ha.

Sigh. This is a line from this rap song that is aptly titled "Feel Some Type of Way." I have no idea what the song is really about. But the term "feeling some type of way" has stuck and is used to describe any complex emotion that you can't place a finger upon.

"Did you go out with him again?"

"Naaaw girl. He kept texting somebody on our first date and I felt some type of way about that."

"Yeah. Not a good look, girl. I ain't mad at you for that."

Or

"Girl, let me get to my mama to pick these kids up 'fore she feel some type of way about me being late."

"Yeah, you better hurry up, girlfriend."

#5  Term: "Crumbsnatchers"

A universal term known by black folks to describe small children. I've mentioned it on this blog before so don't count it if you learned it here.

"Did you invite Jane to brunch?"

"No, girl. She always springs her crumbsnatchers on you at the last minute."

"Ooooh. So true. Not a good look."

#4  Phrase: "He could get it."

Ha ha ha. I am adding this one against my better judgement. This is the term used to describe any person--usually a celebrity--who is extremely attractive.

"OMG. Mark Ruffalo didn't win the Oscar!"

"Yeah but Oscar or no Oscar, he could definitely get it."

"Fo sho."

Or, while watching TV with the BHE:

"You know? Jennifer Anniston could get it."

"Oh yeah?"

"Her and Eva Longoria."

"I can see that." 

#3  Phrase:  "Sit down somewhere." or "Take several seats."

Ha ha ha. This funny little phrase is used a lot of ways. But mostly when you are tired of someone or they are just doing too much. Sometimes they deserve this phrase but sometimes they don't. Case in point:

"Ugggh. LL Cool J is hosting the Grammys again? I wish he would just sit down somewhere."

"I know, right? Him and Jennifer Hudson."

"Ha ha ha ha, I know! She sang the first two notes and I was like, 'Bye Felicia!'"

"Yeah, chile. She needs to take several seats."

LOL

#2  Phrase: "I'm cool."


Not like you think. This describes somebody or something that you've put on ice or a relationship you've redefined. Usually out of awareness or necessity.

"Would you like a Bloody Mary with your omelette?"

"Naaaah. I'm cool on vodka. It gives me a headache and a hangover."

"Gotcha. Hey, why weren't you at the book club yesterday?"

"I'm cool on that book club, man. The woman who organizes it said something crazy to me and I felt some type of way about it." 

"Awww damn."

"Plus I didn't read the book anyway."

#1  Phrase:  "I can't."

This is one of my absolute favorites. "I can't." The phrase for when you are at a loss for words at something being so foul.

"Oh Lord. Is Lady Gaga about to sing The Sound of Music? I just can't, girl."

"She sounds good to me."

"No way. She needs to sit down somewhere. Honey, I just can't." 

"Really? I thought that was a good look for them to have her sing that tribute!"

Bonus:

Phrase:  "She DID that."

Emphasis on DID. Anything someone did really, really well, you say it just like that. Especially if it is remarkably better than anything else you've seen in a long time. Case in point:

"John Legend and Common sounded great at the Oscars!"

"Yeah, they DID that."

Or

"I love those photos from your birthday party, girl!"

"Thanks!"

"Who did your make up? That face was BEAT, do you hear me?"

"I did my own make up!"

"You did? Even the lashes?"

"Surely did."

"Damn, girl. You DID that."

LOL LOL

See? I don't make this stuff up.

You are now officially ready to go with me to the hair salon this week. Woo hoo! I know I forgot some good ones but this is a start.

How'd you do? 10/10? 5/10? 0/10? What say you?


***
Happy Sunday.

Air Apparent.

And I think to myself, "What a wonderful world."

I've had some great runs over the last year and a half--complete with some epic jump photos to remember them by. I'm so glad that my friends are such great sports and willing to participate in my post-run shenanigans . . . . even after running 13.1 miles. What can I say? It just never gets old for me. 

LIke ever.

This crazy running adventure started as a way for me to rage against heart disease after my big sister passed away. Since heart disease is so ruthless, every step and every medal feels like a chance to answer back. Each finish line is me saying, "In yo face!" or "Take that, heart disease!" And sure. I know I don't really have full control over it but I like feeling that way for those few moments. It makes me feel like there is something I can do, you know? Writing has felt that way, too. I know it's probably silly sounding. But loss can leave you feeling so helpless, so . . .so. . . .  silenced you know? 

Yeah.

Here's what I'm thinking about right now: I love having legs that can run, a heart that is pumping, a mind that is aware and that remembers, and eyes that can look ahead to my goals. . . .and then using them all in concert to put big accomplishments behind me. That's something to jump about, don't you think? I sure do.

So much is going on in this world. So much. Sometimes catching a little air under my feet makes all the heavy things feel lighter. If even by a little smidgen and only for a tiny moment. But mostly it reminds me that I'm alive, man. And that I'm still here.

Yeah.

***
Happy Hump-Day. I'm here!

Now playing on my mental iPod. . . . as sung by the incomparable Eva Cassidy.

She's good.

Me:  Mom! Hope you aren't getting too bored down in Siesta Key.You cool down there? Is it super slow?

Mom: (replies with a multimedia text message)

Me:  Well, alrighty then.

Mom: TTYL!

TTYL? Seriously? Seriously.

***
Happy Sunday.

Now playing on my mental iPod. . .  this, which has played on my mental iPod from the minute I saw this clip of her until now. I imagine it playing in the background. Try this: Ignore the video and just isten to it while watching my mom dance. (And forgive me for the crazy images in the video--blame Li'l John and DJ Snake.) 

Get it, Mom. .  . . turn down for what?!

Top Ten: Netflix Lingo.

I've always taken great pride in the fact that I don't watch much television. People would ask me how I ever find time to blog and write and I'd feel the corners of my mouth turning upward in a smug-ish smile. "I don't watch much television," I'd say. "I write when most people are watching TV." Yes. That's what I used to be able to say.

It wasn't because I wasn't interested. I can say that I've always been interested enough to watch a lot of things, but never found myself so connected to anything that I just had to see it. And so. I decided that I'd just nix most of it altogether. Unless, of course, it was something excellent. 

"Excellent" was usually those shows that I'd honor through my DVR menu. After a while, they'd all back up in my queue so badly that I'd get that message telling me that the memory was nearly full. Catching up would takes days, so I'd scrap it. Even if it was excellent. Who had time to be held captive on the couch for that many hours? Not me.

Yes. That was before. Before I could take my excellent shows with me into the hair salon or a doctor's appointment. Before I could huddle under my down comforter with an iPad mini when I should-should-should totally-totally-totally be fast asleep. Yes. That was before freakin' Netflix. 

I was late to the Netflix game. I'd made up my mind that I didn't want to see anything bad enough to pay for a web-based subscription along with my already oppressively expensive cable. But then, one day, my brother gave me my first hit. 

"You've got to watch this show," he told me. "It's so well done--I know you'll love it." 

He was talking about Downton Abbey. This show about these hoity-toity English folks set around early 1900's. He told me it was on Netflix and HULU+ which, I guess, I was supposed to immediately clap my hands and celebrate. "Dude. I don't have Netflix. And I don't even know what the hell HULU+ is."

He gasped and then fainted. 

After he woke up, he let me watch my first ever episode of Downton Abbey using his subscription. Which was probably illegal, but seeing as I now have my own, I feel like I can say it. And so. I watched Downton Abbey and got hooked. So hooked that I would scour the net looking for episodes aired in Europe already that hadn't made it to the US yet (which I may or may not have found.) But that was mostly it.

But then something else happened. The people at Netflix had this bright idea to start making their own programming. Shows--excellent shows--that could only be viewed on Netflix. And since I had my own subscription, I decided to give a couple of the critically acclaimed shows a try. And, since I'd be using it, check out a few older series that everyone seemed to be flipping out about or that I'd lost in the DVR abyss.

Ugggh. 

I've been taken down by the Netflix beast. Wrangled by these addictive dramas and put under the spell of that little sideways triangle that beckons me at 1am to watch "just one more" episode. Or worse, not fight it when it just comes on without me asking for it. 

And so. Since I just finished up Season Two of Orange is the New Black--or as the Netflix savvy say it "OITNB"--I've been thinking a lot about the tablet-crack that the world affectionately refers to as Netflix. Matter of fact, I even wrote a little top ten about it!

Today I bring you:

THE TOP TEN VERY IMPORTANT WORDS THAT SHOULD OFFICIALLY BE ADDED TO THE ENGLISH LEXICON SINCE THE INTRODUCTION OF NETFLIX. (MERRIAM-WEBSTER: LISTEN UP.)

Like to hear it? Here it go.

#10 

NETFOLX: (n.)  People that watch your favorite shows on Netflix and who can have reasonable conversations about the characters, the storylines, and when the next season might be coming out.

Case in point:

What a HUGE rush it was to call Will last night to hash out all of the details of the OMG finale of OITNB! So much better than Twitter. He is totally my Netfolx.

#9  

NETFLAK: (n.)  The junk that your significant other or family members talk when they catch you bingeing in the bed, the bathroom, and in the car on a show with five seasons. You know, the show that you vowed to catch up on in time to watch the series finale with all of your friends.

#8

NETFLUX: 

(n.)  The roller coaster emotions that you feel about each show you're watching. One minute you can't stop watching it, the next, you could care less. 

(v.) The act of dumping a series for another or forgetting about it altogether because something you like better is on--but then returning to it and not knowing what's going on so being forced to go back to the start of the season.

#7

NETCLIX:  (n.) When Netfolx get together and talk about shows that other people haven't heard of or ever watched. Especially when they talk about characters from shows like they know them personally.

Me:  I didn't know Poussey spoke German. That was a surprise.

Netfolx #1:  Yeah, that was a trip. Man, I have not idea what Daya is going to do about that baby.

Me:  I'm saying!

Netfolx #2:  It's so lose-lose, man. Daya and Stumpy are screwed, man.

Outsider:  What in the HELL are you guys talking about?

Us: *eyeroll*

#6

NETFOG: (n.)  The hangover you have at work the day after you stayed up waaaaay too late watching two more episodes of that show. . . . instead of going to sleep.

#5

NETFUX: (n.)  

1. What you DON'T give when someone gives you Netflak about watching too much Netflix. Even when it means resorting to your iPhone plus your reading glasses once your iPad battery dies. Or the dirty stares you get when watching television with your headphones in a coffee shop or restaurant.

2.  When you realize that the CURRENT season of whatever show you are watching isn't on Netflix yet. Which forces you to either buy it on freakin' Amazon Prime or HULU+. Or even worse--watch it on your regular television. Noooooooo!

3. What you say when you start a series and discover that it has 6 seasons with 18 episodes per season. And you have a deadline at work. But you have already taken a net-hit so you can't stop watching. Best when said quickly in a succession of three. (This is what happened to me when I started watching "Parenthood.")

#4

NETFAKES: (n.) The stuff you have to watch on the airplane because the crappy "gogo" wifi won't allow for streaming of Netflix! Maaaaaan, please. Also see #5, which is what you say when you figure this out.

#3

NETFINX: (n.)  People who get on social media and spoil the ending of whatever series you're on because they watched the whole season already. Or who can never admit to any show being all that good. "House of Cards? It's aiight."

Also known as NETSNITCH.

#2

NETFUNK: (n.)  The emotion you feel after finishing the finale of your latest favorite series. Which comes right before starting your next favorite series recommended to you by your netfolx in your netclix.

#1

NETFIX: (n.)  The great, great, great euphoria you feel after breaking into the wifi whose signal you picked up from the place next-to-the-place where you happen to be. . . .and FINALLY getting to watch just one more episode. Okay, two. (Especially if it happens right after getting off of a plane with the crappy "gogo" wifi.)

Bonus term:

NETBINGE:  (n.) or (v.) The act of not giving a netfux about anything you have to do and just watching as much Netflix as you can. Must involve neglecting housework and not shaving legs. Oh, and for severe cases it may or may not involve going from device to device. If a smart phone is involved, it is considered a medical emergency and grounds for an intervention.

That's all I got today. What ridiculousness are you guys up to?

***

Happy Saturday. And remember--all it takes is one hit.

Just finished my net-binge on this season. And OMG was it worth every bit of netflak I got for it. Even if it has left me in a horrible netfunk. :(

Life in the Key of J.T.

Right there, right there, let the groove get in!

Right there, right there, are you comfortable?

~ Justin Timberlake

In my quest for work-life balance, I often strive to do some things that push beyond the everyday fun-o-meter. Not every single day. But just sometimes I do. Because I deserve it, man. I do. The kinds of things that require a little sacrifice of either time or scheduling or those things that you often say to other people "Oh man! I would have loved to have done that!"

Especially when you're somebody's mama.

And so. Several months ago I was talking on the phone to one of my Ruths named Frieda (aka Free Free) and despite our many years of friendship, a striking realization occurred during that conversation.

"I love Drake," Frieda said.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was putting the dinner pots away and wiping down the stove. I had my wireless earbud in and my phone in my pocket so I could have full use of my hands.

"Drake who? The music artist Drake?"

Drake

"Girl, yes. Love me some Drake."

"Ick. Not even feeling him. You can have him," I replied. I was now on to filling the dishwasher and was trying not to make too much noise. Then I added, "But girlfriend, I might have to cut you if you start trying to push up on my main man Justin Timberlake."

That's when the epiphany happened. Frieda kept trying to start her reply but kept stopping on the first syllable. She was just too excited.

"Gir-! Wha-? Ju-?! Gir-!" And then she just let out a big long, "Giiiiirrrrrrrrrrrl, please. I will fight you over some JT."

And that's when the plot started. Free Free and I learned that we had more in common than just being nerdy internists with connections to Grady and two school aged children a piece. We discovered that we had the Justin Timberlake connection. Yes, baby! Which took us to a whole 'nother level of friendship.

Chile please.

Two weeks later Frieda calls me in between her patients on a week day. She's talking fast like a crazy woman and quickly saying in my voice mail that "our man" was coming to Atlanta in December. And that we were going. Period. End of story.

Now. Here's one of the things I love about being friends with Frieda. She does a good job of just stepping on out and planning to do those things that normally I'd say, "Awww! I wish I had gone to that!" She does it. Plans it. Or at least tries.  My friend and fellow Grady doctor Stacy H. is super good about things like that, too. As a matter of fact, she was the one who nudged me to buy a ticket to do the most fun thing I did in 2010.

But I digress.

So as the story goes, Frieda got the tickets and being Frieda, she didn't get us nosebleed seats. No ma'am, no sir. Free Free got us tickets on the floor, baby. VIP, no less. Close enough to rub Justin's suit and yank his tie. 

Gi-!! Wha-?! Gir-?! Yes, ma'am.

So last night, I met Frieda at Emory Hospital Midtown and she jumped into the passenger seat of my car. And the rest? All I can say is that some parental guidance should have been suggested. Me and Free Free? We took back the night, baby!

Let me get you in the mood with this. . . .



Sorry, I had to dance with that. Whew. I'm back. Had to nurse this blister on my finger from all that finger snapping. Ha ha ha.

Okay. So before we go any further, I am sure some of you are wondering what's up with the JT fascination? I mean, other than him being super talented and all? Well. It's simple. The man can dance. And he dresses well. And he's cool about the way he dances. That? That does it for me every time.

Mmmm hmmm.

Gir-! Wha-?! Jus-! Gir-!

That man moves in a way that clearly intrigues more than just me. 'Cause the VIP section y'all? It should have been called:

Bwwwaaah ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, it should have. I figured out that the people with resources to actually be able to get those tickets were all over 40. But let me tell you something: The cougars know how to TURN UP!

Ha ha ha ha.

So before all that? A delicious steak dinner at a delicious steak house walking distance from the arena. Nice and medium rare with the perfect wine pairing. Because we are grown-ass women, remember? See? There are perks to being over 40. Over 40 is the point where you actually consider buying a bottle of wine versus just asking for 8 tastes until you feel tipsy.

Oh. Y'all didn't used to do that in your twenties? Ha ha ha. My bad.

Yeah, so in full grown-mom splendor that wine meant red, red, wine. Yeah baby. I'm not sure if you knew or not but red wine is the official beverage of moms over 40 that still have kids under ten. Or at least it is when those moms have girls' night kid-free days. In moderation, of course!

Mmmm hmmmm.

 

Now. The older you get the lower your tolerance is, so we decided to forgo the full bottle. But that doesn't mean that we didn't fully enjoy our lush reds by the glass. You bet we did. And we were even careful not to get those creepy burgundy leprechaun teeth, too. (Why I call them leprechaun teeth I do not know.) Ha ha ha.

Bellies full complete with perfect wine pairings, we booked it out toward the arena for some J.T. time! Woooo hooooo!

Gir-! Wha-? Gir-! 

 Now, seeing as we're GROWN WOMEN and all, our VIP floor seat tickets had to be picked up in the special red carpeted trap door on the side. Mmmm hmmm. You know how WE do it. 

We got bags and shirts and all kinds of goodies. Here's our buddy from the VIP who gave us a good laugh. She said, "You two are up to no good--I can tell!"

 

And we told her she was absolutely correct in that assumption.

And I am serious about it being cougar town. Here's a few women we met on the way in. Everyone had left the kids at home and were having inappropriate thoughts about this former boyband member turned GROWN ASS man with gyrating hips.

Okay, and maybe some of them weren't full on cougar-age, but if two or more are, by default you all are cougars. Ha ha ha ha. And honestly? Any woman old enough to be your older sister's BFF and who has left her kids to come and see the ex lead singer of N*SYNC technically meets cougar criteria if you ask me. Plus we were all on the prowl, man. Which cougars usually are.

I mean, I'm just saying.

Oh there were a few cougar-husbands who were there taking one for the team like this guy. 

Ha.

Free Free was feeling the rhythm of the pre-concert DJ from the minute we walked in. This picture doesn't capture how hard she was grooving. It put me in the perfect, perfect state of mind!

That and the AMAZING seats Frieda snagged us. OMG. Can I just say that Frieda got these tickets as a gift to me after winning a big teaching award last year? And man. What a gift it was!

More of our cougar brigade met up with us on the floor and it was ON!

 

Tanya and Heather (pictured above) work together. Heather is a former Grady doctor and an absolutely KICK ASS breast surgeon. But on top of that, the woman has some serious dance moves to boot. No wonder she's such a great surgeon. Ha ha ha ha. 

The DJ was so awesome that we just danced and danced. Especially me. I was out in the aisle getting my GROOVE on and waiting for Justin T. to take the stage.  I think I burned about a thousand calories in that thirty minutes!

Oh! And funniest thing EVER. Why was I dancing so hard in the aisle that the security officer had to come over to tell me to move over toward my seat?

 

But the really funny part was that she kind of secretly reminded me of one of Martin Lawrence's characters on the Martin show.  

Just a little bit. I mean, she was nice though! And ended up dancing a little bit with us so it was cool.

Ha ha ha ha *cough* ha ha ha ha

And then. . . . .sigh. Maaaan, them cougars went crazy when that child took the stage. I'm talking full on bananas, man. Think Beatle-mania but with the people from the carpool lane. Ha ha ha.

Gir-! What-? Gir-!

Bwaah ha ha ha. It was so much fun. And technically I think there were a lot of younger peeps there, too, but they were so far up in the nosebleed that we couldn't see them from Cougar town.

Ha.

 

Can I just say that this dude sang his FACE off and danced his BUTT off? And he sounded just like the albums which was awesome. We sang right along on every song and the Martin-show security lady didn't even hit me with that billy club when I started dancing in the aisle again on "Bringing Sexy Back." 

Chile please.

But like all great things, this night eventually had to come to a (late) end. We had the most amazing time together. Not just because we both love Justin Timberlake but because there is just nothing like a really good time with your really good woman friends. There just isn't. 

I was also glad that I'd gone ahead and planned to allow myself this time, you know? Long before I knew it was a gift, either.  I'm especially glad for a friend like Frieda that gave me that nudge to do something a little indulgent like this. It's just so easy to keep denying yourself and coming up with excuses why you can't do things. But even something like buying some pricey tickets to a concert that you really, really want to attend are doable when it's six months in advance. You just have to decide that you deserve to go, you know?

And I have to say that Frieda teaches me how to do this more. My sister JoLai does, too, and so do my friends Stacy H. and Julie J-M. They're all planners that allow themselves and their loved ones magical experiences. The kinds that make people say, "Oh man! I would've LOVED to do that!" Except they aren't saying that because they're the ones DOING IT.

Yup.

So Justin Timberlake had on his suit and tie and the cougars left it all on the floor last night. And you know what else?  We showed ol' Justin a few thangs. . . . .

Mmmm hmmmm. Yeah, we did.  (But shhhhhh, don't tell nobody.)

***
Happy HUMP DAY! Shout out to the daddies--Harry and Terrance--for giving the mommies a fun break and license to ILL!

Image totally jacked from Facebook! Ha!

Here's a picture of my BFF Lisa and one of her good Ruths from last weekend--she's also a mama and an internist but she carved out time to go to Chicago to see BEYONCE (!) at what I am sure was great sacrifice. So inspired by this, too. We all deserve a little fun. But when your plate is full it has to be planned. When it is, though? Man. Good times.

Students. Residents. Parents. Grown folks. Take heed! Take some time for you. To do some things that involve nothing but having fun without any excuses and that DON'T center around your children. Yeah, I said it. Fun things. Silly things. Memorable things. For YOU things.  Like hurting your left knee from attempting to "drop it like it's hot" only to learn that at this point it has to be warmed up before it can be dropped like it's hot.

Ha.

Take back the night, y'all!! Woot!

Now playing on my mental iPod. . . of course. . . 







and my number one JT jam. . . .