Fighting inertia.

The brother and the sister have cleared the kindergarten hurdle. And yes, this took place at different elementary schools, but that has never affected their status as family.

And so, last night on a balmy summer evening with no school in the morning, the sibs, Zachary and Fiona, fell back into their old routine. . . .and into their metaphorical lockstep as always.

Us, their parents, made this commitment to always work at allowing them to keep that special friendship. We know that when kids are this age, sometimes really important relationships fizzle into the  wind because of inertia more than lack of caring.

I guess the same could be said of adult relationships, too, now couldn't it?

Well, lucky for us, that same commitment that was made about those kids has been made about the relationship between the parents of those kids, too. So the four grown ups sat on the deck on a summer evening sipping adult beverages and having adult conversations. One of the papas was on the grill while the little ones found as many shenanigans as they could to get into.

And all of it was natural and easy and right.

The older kids, Isaiah and Cassidy, go way back to the two year-old room in their first pre-school. Now that they're both rising third-graders, it's fair to say that they, too, are old friends.

Yesterday Cass told Isaiah ,"You boys are trouble!"

His response?

"Cassidy, trouble just means you know how to start the fun."

Ha.

So yeah. Those two--Isaiah and Cassidy--have also transcended the bumpiness you encounter with less familiar friends and always seem to gel no matter how much time has passed.

But for whatever reason, it's not quite the same as what goes on with Z and Fi aka "the real-true" brother and sister.  Man. Z and Fi? Seeing them together always makes me feel like we've done something right as parents.

I've described it before. Z and Fi interact more like family members than friends. They are protective of one another and so. . .I don't know. . . safe in each others' presence. It's endearing. I guess that's what happens when you start out as infants on Boppy pillows together.

Yeah.

As we sat outside laughing and talking and watching our kids, I thought a lot about inertia.

inertia:  a property of matter by which it remains at rest or in uniform motion in the same straight line unless acted upon by some external force

I recognize that with relationships, we are that external force. Either we allow our own busy-ness and lives to break special bonds that had already been set into uniform motion or when they stagnate we look up and no one has set it back into action. So yeah. However you look at it, we are the external force good, bad or indifferent. With the little ones, it's up to us to put our kids into cars and drive them over to those friends. We have to carve out that time to maintain the friendships that matter. I guess there just has to be some willingness to act.

And, of course, we can't do that with every single relationship. Nor will we always feel compelled to. But have you ever reflected on a friend that got away or faded into the background and wished or at least wondered about it? Like thinking that it could have been different or have continued had either of you just added some tiny bit of external force to keep the momentum? Or removed it to keep it from halting? Or something like that.

I have.

Not with all relationships. Or even most relationships. But I can think of some friends from more remote parts of my life that I've thought about this way. I also know that if hearts align it doesn't take much to set things into motion again.

Especially when it's magical.

Z and Fi have a magical friendship. I'm proud that we've helped them to fight inertia. I am.

***
Happy Sunday. Off to rounds!

Now playing on my mental iPod. . . .Cassidy knew it when they walked in. (But it really just means fun.)

More random pieces of this American life.

Since my new glasses make me happy, I thought I'd post them again.

My life isn't perfect. But you know what? I focus on the good parts. No, I don't ignore the less palatable parts of my life. But I do put less energy into honoring them. And if you give me enough time to think about it, I'll find the good in those parts, too.

I sure will.

Here's a few recent pieces of this American life that I've chosen to honor today.

Z and Fi.

 

Few things make me happier than seeing Zachary and his sister, Fiona, together. And yes, I said sister and not "sister" because quotation marks suggest that something is alleged or pretend. As far as these two are concerned, nothing about their designation as siblings is fake. 

So there. 

If you've never read about the siblinghood of Zach and Fi, you can here. 

It makes me happy to see that my children already have "old" friends. Knowing how to be a friend is so important. I love the loyalty that Zachary and Fiona have to one another. It seems to be instinctive for them which made me say to Fiona's dad that we must be doing a little something right.

 

Zachary made sure to teach Fiona the mushy-mustache man face which she's still working on. 

Those last three pictures just make me smile. Y'all know how I feel about kids having what I now refer to as "retro" fun. Yes, Zachary was on a swing tied to a tree branch. And you're darn skippy--Fiona was playing school and that was her chalkboard.

Mmmm hmmm.

What else? Oh! This:

Game night with Team McD.

It's no secret--I love me some medical students. Well, this image includes me folded in with the family of medical student Catharine M. who is just finishing up her third year. (That's her right next to me with the pretty scarf around her neck.)

Okay, so here's the story on Cathy:  No, she isn't in my small group. And no, I've never worked with her clinically, either. Essentially, she reached out to me last year and asked if I could find some time to meet with and, perhaps, help mentor her. Her timing was good and I liked her assertiveness. We had a "blind" Starbucks date and the rest is history.

Wait. I take that back. It wasn't completely "blind." I actually Googled her before our meeting because I pretty much Google everybody I meet with. Ha ha ha. That search helped me to find her blog which I commenced to read from start to finish before our pow wow. And, yeah, she was partly mortified by that but seeing as she's an excellent writer and photographer, I have no idea why. 

Then again, the whole "yeah, I read your life story after a Google search" thing is a little weird, I guess. 

So, yeah. I've thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her over the past year. That process made me feel like I knew her entire family--which isn't an exactly small one. I relate to people who love like they mean it and this family does. They absolutely do.

So anyways. I was super honored when Cathy's family was passing through town and she wanted me to meet them. Her parents, two sisters, and one brother were there along with some extended family (her roommates and med school pals)--none of whom I'd met before that day. What a delight!

These three below are from Cathy's small group.

Two of her roommates are in her SG. How cool is that? I get so wrapped up in my own small groups that I forget that there are fifteen more small groups per class! Ha ha ha. This one appears to be a very special one. I'll have to give Andrew F. (their SG advisor) props for that when I see him this week.

Next up? Game night!

Yes.

Confession: Okay. I'll come clean. I'm not so game night-y. In fact, I inwardly cringed when Cathy mentioned that part of the plan and had already let it be known that I would be the ghost of game nights past by the time that started.

But that was before I met her family. OMG. Loved every drop of their energy. Every drop. So much love wrapped into the way they talk to people and each other. I mean that. So it blew even my mind when everyone moved from the kitchen over to the living room to play some game that was part Taboo, part charades, part . . . I don't even know what to call it.

Izzy, the dog, was also in the game night mix. She doesn't strike me as very game night-y either, but she is a people person and is a fan of Cathy's family. I'm thinking Izzy and I were on the same page.

Little sister, Olivia (above), kept score and cracked jokes. I am also thinking that this is a good role to have in game night, too. (Especially the joke cracking part.)

So yes. I was all up in the mix for game night. And Team McD? I want y'all to know that had it been anyone else, I would have been burning rubber in the drive way as soon as the hummus ran out. Skrrrrrrrrt! Or better yet, I would have even had that cartoon gust of smoke behind me like Road Runner used to do with Wile E. Coyote.

Ha.
 
Juuuuuust kidding.

What could be better than watching Cathy's mom demonstrating the Harlem Shake without using any words? If she was willing to be that amazing of a sport, then Lord knows I could, too.

We had a great time. I'm so glad I stayed. And let me tell you--Team McD is SERIOUS about their game nights. Hmmmm.  I may even have to rethink my feelings about game nights. No, this won't make me game night-y, but I will think about it before running out the front door screaming next time someone offers. For reals.

So thanks for that, Cathy. Hence forward, I will always be down for a game night with Team McD.

Random hospital moments.

Here's a few snaps from inside the hospital. One with another of my favorite students, Maureen M., who is on her surgery clerkship and the other of Eric S. and Jay L. listening to heart sounds with me one day on rounds.

Both of those photos make me happy.

Hmmm. . . .what next?

Oh. Yes. This: 

Hustle Man.

 

The BHE is working on a new building. I've told you already that Harry is always keeping it moving when it comes to entrepreneurship. What can I say? I'm married to "Hustle Man." Just . . . not in that shady way like Tracy Morgan's character on Martin. Ha ha haha. . .

Whaaaaat? You don't know about Hustle Man from Martin? You don't know about HUSTLE MAN??!! *shakes head* Let me right that wrong right here and right now! 

Bwaaah ha ha ha. That was looooong before 30 Rock, man. See, y'all youngsters didn't even know nothin' about Hustle Man, did you? 

You're welcome.

Wait? What was I even talking about? Oh! Harry and business. Yes! That. Seriously--I've said it many times that (unlike Hustle Man) The BHE is strictly business. That is no exaggeration. Mardi Gras Cafe continues to thrive and now, next door to it, he is working on another spot. This one he's building from the ground up.

Sure is.

So, check it. Harry's restaurant (Mardi Gras Cafe) is in a part of town called the Historic MLK corridor or Historic Westside Village. Way back in the day, many civil rights leaders met right on that block breaking bread and breaking down walls. Like a lot of neighborhoods in Atlanta, this one went through some hard times. But now, thanks to people like Harry, the entire corridor is going through a metamorphosis. There's a WalMart that just opened in January and lots of new businesses are arriving. The established proprietors are upgrading the things they have and are welcoming new faces and traffic into their doors. And for all of the students who are right up the street at schools like Spelman, Morehouse, and Clark Atlanta University, they are--hallelujah--able to walk to well lit, well-tended, and chic establishments for fun and for a hot meal. 

Best of all? The many, many families who live in the area are no longer in a food desert AND they finally get to see someone putting money into their neighborhood. In other words, businesses like Harry's make the surroundings more inspiring. That's huge on so many levels.

So me? I take our sons to see what their daddy is doing. I want them to put their eyes on his hard work and to stand right in the midst of his vision before, during and after it crystallizes. I say right in their earshot that I am proud of that man and what he is doing because they need to hear that. 

But mostly because I am proud.

These are life lessons, man.

The BHE is doing some great things, man. He really is. So when you guys come down on MLK to support his Mardi Gras Cafe know that it is way bigger than me and my family. It's about showing a community that they are worth the time and effort. 

And before I forget--let me say this. Once there was a restaurant that I liked in town and it closed. And not just closed as in for-the-day but closed as in out-of-business. I recall saying to Harry, "I really loved that spot! I hate that it closed!"  And he just looked at me and replied, "When was the last time you went there?" 

Honestly? I couldn't remember. And I couldn't because it had been a while. 

"So you can't be mad they closed, babe." And that was that.

So this is what we do--when a business is one that we like and one that we wish to keep in our community or city, we make a concerted effort to go there. Seriously. And not just Mom and Pop shops either. Things like the WalMart on MLK and the CVS up the street. Because in this economy, no business is safe. 

We also go to eat at the places that we like near our home. Intentionally. This way, if they don't stay open, we know it isn't because we weren't supporting them. 

"If everyone thought that way about the places they enjoy in their cities, a lot more places could stay open," Harry says. 

So thanks to all the folks coming into Mardi Gras. Keep on coming if you enjoyed it because it makes a difference.

And lastly, this:

Isaiah reading a book to Zachary this evening. Without me asking him to and just because.



This little life of mine? I'm gonna let it shine.

Because it's a good life. It is.

***
Happy Monday.

Now on my mental iPod. . . .one of Zachary's favorite songs that he rocks out to CONSTANTLY (when he isn't listening to the Party Rock Anthem.) It's impossible to shake it from my head now especially since he sings it on a reciprocating loop nonstop.

Top Ten: The show goes on.

I have finally come out of my post-homecoming haze. Despite said haze, life has continued to move and groove. Doesn't it always?

Well. After all that fun from last weekend, I think I may have compromised my immune system. On Monday, I was in clinic all day and sensed something was awry when I started feeling that "furry" feeling in my throat. You know what I'm talking about? That icky-but-not-necessarily-painful sensation that your pharynx gets right before a big, bad head cold comes on?

Which reminds me. What is the difference between a "head cold" and just a regular ol' cold anyway? I just realized that I've been saying "head cold" to describe my infirmary all week. Ha ha ha. I think it's just meant to get the violins whining and the empathy caked on. Kind of like "double pneumonia."

Heh.

So yeah. By Tuesday, I was on all fours. With a low-grade fever, Barry White's voice, and coughing like an angry junkyard dog's bark. Don't believe me? I called my friend Wendy A., the Infectious Disease Lady, and she quickly diagnosed me as "awful" (without much more advice, I might add.) Still don't believe me? I was sick enough to not conduct my small group teaching session with Small Group Gamma. And y'all know how I feel about the kids.

image of me, the junkyard dog (just add stethoscope)

Mmm hmmm.

But. That not before going to Zachary's school for his birthday. It was my mama-duty to bring "ice cream cups, but not cupcakes because I don't like cupcakes." Did I also mention that I was supposed to read a book, too? Man. I was HUR-TING and it was too last minute to call in the BHE. Seeing as you can't call in sick to your child's sixth birthday, I took one for the team. Thanks to my friend DayQuil, I quieted my junkyard dog-ness long enough to read two solid Shel Silverstein poems (from Zachary's favorite book "Where the Sidewalk Ends.")

I managed to get some rest but was still sick on Wednesday. I had too much to do to get out of any of it, though. I did get plenty of sympathy with my scary baritone voice and my proclamation of my illness as a bad HEAD-cold.

And so. While double pneumonias and ear infections just might put life on ice for some, a head-cold don't stop no show. At least not fully and completely. So yes, my life went on and in the end, it's been a pretty great week.

Hey! I wrote a little top ten about it! Like to hear it? Here it go!

THE TOP TEN MOMENTS IN MY WEEK THAT MADE ME GLAD THAT THE SHOW WENT ON ANYWAY.

#10  -  AIDS Walk 2012

You guys already know how I feel about doing the AIDS Walk in Atlanta every year with my small groups. It's so hard to believe that we've been doing it since 2007. It's truly a SG family tradition now. 

For some reason, the heavens seem to smile on this day year after year. Blue skies, bright smiles and positive energy are the rule--and I am always so proud to have a team of my favorite medical students right there with me for this amazing cause. 

This year we had two firsts -- Pacha, the dog, joined us on the walk (our first furry team member) and the SG students were so organized that they had team shirts made this year. So awesome. The front said: "Team Manning" and "Alpha Beta Gamma" for our small groups.

The back? A quote from yours truly that my advisees hear early and often:

"Don't Embarrass Me."

I loved walking and talking to members of the group and continue to be touched that they are such good sports about participating. Weekends are precious commodities for studying and sleeping when you're a med student. They're always so gracious about it and seem to believe in the importance of the event, too.

And, of course, we had to have an obligatory mean mug. James wins again.

Next up for us is Yoga with Coach B. at the Central Presbyterian Men's Homeless Shelter. Stay tuned for that.

#9  --  "The King of Six."

That's what my baby boy dubbed himself. "I'm the KING OF SIX, Mom," he told me that afternoon. And I didn't bother to argue with him. Plus the dude had the crown to show for it, man.

Well. As it turns out, the King of Six gets served on a silver platter by his loyal, royal kindergarten teacher. Then, in sickness or in health, The King's mother comes in to read two passages from his excellency's favorite book.  How apropos that one of the two poems selected from Shel Silverstein's "Where the Sidewalk Ends" included Zachary's number one all time favorite. . . .aptly titled "Sick."

 

Yes, people. Don't let the hoarse voice and red nose fool you. This poetry slam was complete with full mommy animation. Nothing but the best for the King of Six.

His name is Zachary Manning also known as the King of Six--and he approved of this birthday.

#8  --  Friends to the End.

This picture includes Isaiah and his two very best friends. They were leaving the movies and were happy as three little clams. I love everything that this image represents. Friendship. Diversity. Youth. All of it. 

The other thing I love is that they've always reminded me of Harry Potter and his two close comrades. Leah has such a Hermione expression on her face, doesn't she? She keeps those boys in line, I tell you. Believe that.

#7  --  You glow, girl!

I got to see my good friend, Marshal, yesterday. We became friends after our boys were in the same pre-school together. We hit it off immediately and have been pals ever since. Once school started this year and life just kept moving as it does, we hadn't been able to see each other in some time. Yesterday the planets aligned and we were in the same place at the same time. Woo hoo! 

But the other thing? Marshal has lost 40 pounds since I last saw her. 40 pounds, y'all! Just from cutting down portion size and making better choices. She was already beautiful, but something about how confident and vibrant she obviously felt was even more striking than the weight loss. 

That made me happy. Plus Marshal is also a Delta girl and she missed her own HBCU homecoming this year and she let me describe every single moment of my best homecoming ever in painstaking detail. Yay for good girlfriends!

#6  --  The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia

This is Kevin S. Kevin is a fourth year medical student and all around amazing human being who happens to lead a student-run organization called HealthSTAT (Health Students Taking Action Together.) I am one of the lucky faculty who gets to advise and mentor him but what I've learned is that when you build these kinds of relationships sometimes you get called upon to do things. As well you should.

Anyways. Kevin asked me to be a part of his lineup of speakers at HealthSTAT's Candlelight Vigil for the Uninsured on the steps of the Georgia State Capitol. Which just so happened to be on Wednesday evening at dusk. And as you might recall from the other seven hundred and fifty five references I've made above, I was SICK as a (junkyard) DOG. 

*covers mouth with fist and coughs hard for effect*

Now. In Kev's defense, he'd asked me to do this eons ago. That said, the conversation we had prior to the event was pretty comical. Me with my most pathetically pathetic voice telling him all about my DOUBLE HEADCOLD and how positively wretched I was feeling. This was all a thinly veiled attempt to get Kevin to kindly offer to let me out of it. Seeing as I had a DOUBLE headcold and all. Mmmm hmmmm. No such luck. Kevin just profusely thanked me and allowed me to go toward the beginning. 

Eeek. Is it horrible for me to admit that I SO didn't want to go. I just wanted to go TO BED.

But then I got out there. 

The energy was amazing. Just. . . amazing. And, I mean, the cause was important, you know? So as soon as I walked up I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. 

They were kind enough to move me to the front of the list, but something about us standing in solidarity to honor our patients and their RIGHT to affordable and attainable health care was like the Balm of Gilead. The moment I opened my mouth, I didn't feel the urge to fight back a cough reflex even once.

I even stayed until the very end. I'm so glad I did because the other speakers were unbelievably inspiring. I met some very cool people and heard some compelling stories from people directly on the front lines and personally affected by lack of health care insurance.

Something about it felt divine and right. I think Kevin knew I'd feel that way.

#5  --  A brother, a sister, (and a bar room brawl)

Well. First the good news. The brother and sister also known as Zachary and Fiona got to hang out on Friday which is always a ton of fun to witness. Those two are little peas in their own pod and it's beautiful to see how they never, ever seem to miss a beat no matter how much time has lapsed.

Fi's parents have this super-duper-fun pumpkin carving fete each year. The kids and the grown ups have a blast. Zach and Fi were back to their regular shenanigans in no time.

Now. I will tell you that the not-so-good news is that a little boy at the party made the unfortunate mistake of elbowing Zachary's sister in the shoulder very hard and very recklessly.

*drops head in shame*

All I'm going to say is that he won't make that mistake ever again. At least not while Zachary is around.

#4  -- Pumpkins and Pumpkins.

Something about being there with all of those pumpkins made me happy. Yeah, that was a good time.

#3  -- You're the Piano Man.

 Turns out that the King of Six is also The Piano Man. He played us a song last night. I can't say that it counted as much of a melody, but he's so damn cute that it had us feeling alright.

That and the assortment of adult beverages. Heh.

#3  --  Bright lights, Big lecture hall.

Umm, okay. So thank goodness the night at the Capitol was my panacea for the double headcold-sinus-infection. (Thought I'd add the sinuses in for effect.)  I was slated to give a talk at the regional Society of Hospital Medicine meeting on Thursday and am happy to say that I was feeling a bit better by that point.

It's not my first time speaking at this meeting, so I felt like I knew what I was getting myself into.

Errrt. Wrong answer. 

Turns out that instead of doing a breakout session in a small room (like I had in the past), I was in a BIG-A lecture hall doing a plenary session to five kabillion people. And yes. Of course they'd sent me seven gazillion emails and mailings that outlined that I would indeed be giving a plenary session but somehow I neglected to register that it meant I'd be speaking to every body and their mama.

Sigh.

Can I also add that I was speaking behind one of my favorite people--this kick arse cardiologist-friend of mine name Javed B.--who was absolutely brangin' it when I got there? (And yes, I meant to say "brangin' it" not bringing it because that's exactly how I would say it if you were sitting here at my kitchen table with me.) I was just a weeee bit nervous.

Anyways. It ended up going fine. I received some good feedback and didn't erupt into a fit of junkyard dog barky-croupy coughing. I did clear my throat a few times, but they seemed to understand once I told them that I was recovering from a quadruple sinus rhinopharyngeal headcold.

Mmmm hmmm.

#2  -- Ladies who lunch.

I ran into three of my awesome colleague-sisterfriends at the SHM meeting -- just in time for lunch! Woo hoo! We had a lovely time together and caught up on gossip at all hospitals except for the VA (since no one was from that hospital.)

Christina P. (next to me) now lives in South Carolina and seeing her made me realize how much I've missed her. She's pregnant with baby #2 and is positively glowing. Joanna B. and Amanda M. are on the Emory faculty, but since they aren't at Grady we don't always cross paths. It was a real treat to spend some girl time with all of them -- especially since I knew them all as residents way back when.

Le sigh.


#1 --  Comment-o-megaly! Hit-o-megaly!

I'm so bona fide, y'all. For reals.

Oh. That's medical jargon. We add -megaly as a suffix to anything that has gotten BIG.

Case in point:

cardiomegaly:  big heart
splenomegaly: big spleen
hepatomegaly: big liver
glutomegaly: big butt  (oh, I think I only say that one.)

Hey! Even though I was sick, I was still so excited about homecoming that I posted twice about it. And would y'all believe that despite my quintuple sinus rhinopharyngeal headcold with fever-chills-rigors-and-hallucinations these posts brought:

1.  The most comments I have EVER received on a single post.
2.  The most hits I have EVER received on a single day.

Shut YO mouth, y'all!!!

You know what this means don't you? You like me. . . .sniffle. . .you really like me!

That, or something in my post is a highly google-imaged item.  Errrr, yeah.


That's all I got. Yes, people. The show goes on.

So happy I lived through that week in time to monumentally waste your time reading all about it. :)

***
Happy Sabado.

Now playing on my mental iPod and regrettably stuck on the harmonica part. . . . .