Today is my baby sister's birthday. Which also happens to be the same day our maternal grandmother was born. In our family, July 26 is a very, very special day.
It is.
We all grew up close and happy. But JoLai and I? We were close in the literal sense.
Yes, indeed.
Ten months apart to be exact. Yes. You read that correctly. Ten. Months. Apart.
Here's the back story on that:
A young couple with three children decided they were done having kids. To make sure that this would be the case, the dad of those three kids had a vasectomy. And that was fine. It would be Draper, party of five, just like the name of that old television series.
Yup.
Well. As it turns out, man plans and God laughs. "Bwah ha ha," He said on high. That fine print that tells you to wait a few rounds before aiming at the target? Well, let's just say that's more than just a notion.
Ha.
My mother wasn't even twenty four years old. A little drowsy. Breast tenderness. And, if she didn't know better, she'd think we was pregnant. Oh, because she was.
Mmm hmmmm.
Let me just tell you--when you are twenty three and you already have three little BITTY kids at home AND you're not even all the way out of the postpartum-y feelings of your last little BITTY child and THEN on top of that you scrape your pennies together for a VAS-ectomy and THEN someone tells you you're pregnant?
Chile please. My mama was despondent. For reals.
They weren't ready for another baby. And besides, they'd just had a baby. Oh, and they'd just bought their first house. This was too much. It wouldn't work.
No, it would not.
So they talked and thought and made the choice that they felt was best. Though difficult, the plan would be to keep things at a party of five. And so they went forward with that plan.
But in the eleventh hour, Mom had a change of heart.
The result was JoLai.
Now. Would this choice have been the best one for every single family in every single place under every single circumstance? Well. That question is rhetorical. How could I possibly speak for every single family (or woman) in every single place under every single circumstance? I can't. So I won't. And even with this--my family's story--I don't.
And so.
Their choice became my baby sister JoLai. Ten months apart. Which means we're both the same number of years annually from July to September. Side by side in the same classes (since she was so stinking gifted) and forehead to forehead in height as kids. Asked if we were twins more often than not and finishing each other's sentences as if we were.
It was a wonderful childhood with JoLai. And you know? I'm proud to be 43 with her today. And I'm ever so thankful that we became and shall always be:
It was on both of our bucket lists to see him in concert. JoLai, the consummate concert-goer, had not yet seen him and me, the very rare concert-goer, hadn't either. We both thought we'd missed our chance when he toured with Carol King a few years back and neither of us secured tickets. But then it came across her radar that #therealJT (as we call him) was touring again. And this time he'd be coming to The Hollywood Bowl.
Let me say that again. The Hollywood Bowl.
Oh, and if you don't know anything about the Bowl, just know that it's magical. It is.
JoLai texted me right away.
"JAMES TAYLOR is coming to the freaking HOLLYWOOD BOWL in June. You in?"
"SO in."
So in, indeed.
Now. Let me go ahead and address the obvious questions that I am sure you have.
"James Taylor? How random is that?"
or
"How in the hell are two black girls from Inglewood 'huge fans' of a balding white man with a watery voice and an acoustic guitar? What the hell?"
or
"Who in the hell is James Taylor?"
And I just might admit that more of my friends than I care to admit asked me the former of those three. Ha ha ha.
Anyways. As you already know from my mental iPod playlists, my musical taste is pretty broad. And man, oh man is JoLai's even crazier than mine. We've both been fans of James Taylor for what seems like forever. Probably dating back to our mom inundating us with her soft rock radio stations back in the day. Regardless of how it happened, anyone who knows real music knows that #therealJT is THAT DUDE. His quiet, understated singing voice and his melancholy guitar have always done it for us. I've even turned my own children on to him since one of our favorite bedtime songs to sing together is "You Can Close Your Eyes" -- his version, not Sheryl Crow's version.
Although I do like Sheryl's version, too. A lot, actually.
And so. On one enchanted summer evening, we jumped on a shuttle and headed to the Bowl. And, of course, it was magical. Partly because it was the Hollywood Bowl, but mostly because it was just us two.
He opened the show with "Something in the Way She Moves." And you know? We immediately felt the same thing at the same time. We did. Both of us wept and hugged and understood. Because those lyrics and that guitar made us think of Deanna and how much we miss her. But then, like always, it made us think of each other and every other special woman in our lives. I thought about my Ruths and felt glad to be with my closest Ruth of all in that moment.
Yeah.
The rest of the songs were amazing, too. We knew nearly all of them and sang right along. We drank wine from plastic cups and hugged and LOLed the whole night long. I kept making JoLai crack up laughing because I kept doing this:
And then I'd say, "Hmmmm. I wonder why all of these old people are here to see J.T.? Wait a minute. . . .did they just say James Taylor? Who in the hell is James Taylor? I thought this was a Justin Timberlake concert!"
Bwwah ha ha. Plus I kept swearing to her that at least one person in that Bowl thought they were coming to Justin Timberlake. And that thought made us both just laugh and laugh until we were sick.
Yep.
All of it was awesome. Perfect and awesome and acutely memorable. It was.
That's all I got.
***
Happy Wednesday. Oh, and if you've never been taken to the church of #therealJT? I'd recommend it.
Now playing on my mental iPod. . . . a few of my favorites from the #therealJT. . . .
First, this. . . "Something in the Way She Moves.". . . .
And this: "Shower the People." I absolutely LOVE this song. . . .love, love, love it. He played it as the encore song and I nearly lost my mind. The whole crowd sang it in unison. It is a mantra for me, so a perfect song that stays on my main mental iPod playlist.
"Carolina in my Mind." Sigh. This song I love because even though he's singing about North Carolina, we all have our "Carolina." Being home in Los Angeles with my sister felt like being in my Carolina. JoLai has renovated and lives in the home we grew up in. She's left a few things as is, though, like our names over the towel racks in the bathroom. That is my Carolina. Even though I'm back home now, I know I'll be going there a lot in my mind over the next few days. (So you must forgive me if I'm up and gone.)
Okay. I just realized that I could list seventy trillion songs that I love by #therealJT. So let me just post this-- about 30 minutes of an old concert he did in Britain back in the day on BBC. It is absolutely brilliant -- and one of the only videos that includes him singing a perfect solo version of "You Can Close Your Eyes." (But I'll warn you that it's in the last two minutes of the video and tragically gets cut off.) He also sings "Carolina in my Mind" here, too, and, of course, the ultimate song "Fire and Rain" (which we also cried all the way through at the concert.) He even opens with some Beatles in this concert. Love, love, love.
Here's Sheryl Crow singing "You Can Close Your Eyes." A solid rendition that doesn't get cut off on this video (unlike the last one.) Admittedly, I've adopted listening this one as of late since it's more up tempo. The original sort of makes me weepy nowadays. But it is still always the sultry and tender one I'll sing over my kids when they're falling a sleep. This remains one of my absolute favorite songs of all time. It is so hauntingly peaceful--especially when James sings it. Sheryl's take on it makes it sound hopeful, too.
***
Who else reading this is a #therealJT fan? What are your favorite songs? What do they make you think about? So much more that I want to include. Dang!
Oh! And for my real #therealJT fans, who can tell me where the title of this post comes from. (NOT JOLAI.)
Shamelessly copied from my little sister JoLai's Facebook page:
This is an excerpt from an essay about a young mother of 3 small children... She was barely 24 years old, and she and her husband were done having children. Her husband had just gotten a vasectomy. They were done..... until she found out she was pregnant again.
They made the only choice that made sense to them at the time, and decided to terminate the pregnancy.
"A woman dressed in a nurse’s uniform entered the room and called off about 25 names from a list. Following individual interviews 12 of us would be selected from the group. Only twelve. … All the others were encouraged to try again next week. I watched the women as they filed out of the room, their faces full of despair, and I felt glad that I was not among them.
When my turn came, I was taken into a smaller room to be interviewed by a panel which consisted of three people— a nurse, a doctor, and a psychologist. They asked probing, personal questions. I answered. I went home and waited, anxiously wondering if I would be one of the twelve chosen. The call came that afternoon. I looked at my three children— my son, not quite four, and my daughters, a two year old toddler and a five month old baby— and thought about how special they were. I never went back."
Cheryl Cottrell Draper, thank you for not going back. Thank you for being the best mother 4 little dusty kids could have ever asked for... Thank you for your strength. Thank you for loving us unconditionally. Happy Mother's Day, Shugsie!
XOXO, Your Baby Girl
Yeah, you can say it. JoLai pretty much rules. And damn, I'm glad that my mom didn't go back that day.
I haven't really known what to say about that super-unfortunate private-turned-public conversation capturing these offensive and odd statements from the Clippers Owner, Don Sterling. I have a lot of thoughts but they all just sort of run together. I guess I'll say them quickly because this topic is salient and is worth talking about.
I don't like what he said. I don't really think I felt deeply offended, though, until he made the references to clothing and housing the blacks employed by him. The rest of it mostly sounded stupid and like it wasn't meant for our ears. Clearly the man is ignorant. As is this woman for putting up with him even for two seconds. Look: I'm old enough to realize that there are people all over the place that would take issue with a key person in their life being photographed on social media with groups of people of whom they do not approve. Or that they allegedly approve of but the others in their world don't approve of. For Donald Sterling, that group was black people. Or "the minorities" as his lady friend called them. Whatever. And some folks don't care about stuff like that at all. But a lot do.
It might be wrong and ignorant and deplorable but it is what it is.
With part of her Season Ticket crew. Their hashtag is #blackandyellow (Not joking)
Look. I'm just saying that if some mom somewhere is mad because her daughter is on Facebook with a group of hippie dudes while in college and says something about it because the other moms in her tennis club are giving her grief, is that kind of the same?
Maybe. Maybe not.
I don't know. I just know that a lot of folks say and think a lot of things that aren't meant for my ears. I heard someone say this: "What would you be banned from if your private conversations were made public?"
Okay. I guess I'm kind of proud to say that I don't think I'd be banned from anywhere. But that's beside the point.
Her man had to become a fan as a part of the courtship.
Now. Despite all THAT, I am not excusing him. Because we DID hear it and it IS public. And more than likely we never heard the worst of it. If this chick was able to record him -- and knew to record him -- she also must have known for certain that he'd say some off the wall crap worth pressing record for. Hello? This means to me that this dude is likely saying all kinds of stuff about "the minorities." Matter of fact, he's been noted to say a few not-so-nice words about black people before.
Mmm hmmmm.
I mean, I personally see myself as a delicate woman even if he doesn't think my persuasion can be. Heh.
The main thing:
How much does this suck for the Clippers--and their fans? These dudes have put in work, man. Work. Talk about going from zeroes to heroes. And this? Now? Just. . . damn.
She has warm and cold weather Clipper gear.
My sister, JoLai, is one of the original Clipper fans. I'm dead serious. She's been a season ticket holder for 13+ years and bought them way back when half of L.A. wasn't even sure who they were. I think I even asked if they were a hockey team back then.
Ha.
Why yes, that IS Chris Paul next to her.
But seriously. JoLai bought those season tickets back when they were buy one ticket get twenty five free. Plus free parking. And a guaranteed t-shirt out of the air gun thingie. She has been down from the start. And is a HUGE fan of this team.
Yep.
Imagine her devastation when this happened. Her team has finally started to get some shine and this bulljive comes out? Dude. Those players are like her family now. And trust me, she was literally heart broken. Someone wise said something like this about her: It's like paying and planning for a huge party and finding out that you can't go like two days before. Or worse--you got locked out of the venue.
Yeah.
Oh and before I forget. JoLai is such a HUGE and LEGIT Clipper Nation member that she was the epicenter of an article in the Los Angeles Times yesterday--specifically about her perspective as an African-American season ticket holder in this hot mess of a situation. It's a great article. Read it here. It tells it far better than I can.
What you know about a Clippers manicure?
Funny. When I tried to find the article, I saw that JoLai has been mentioned in the L.A. Times as a Clipper fan several times. Even as far back as 2001 when I still thought they were a hockey team. Ha! Now if that ain't legit you tell me what is?
I guess a part of me is mourning her loss in all of this. It's like watching someone train over a decade for the Boston Marathon and seeing them trip, fall and get knocked unconscious on mile 25. Even if you weren't the one running, it stills sucks.
Got pajama pants?
Okay. So . . . . I haven't drawn any hard lines in the sand. I do still think human beings are mostly good and don't want this to be seen as some evidence that all white people really hate us. I don't believe that. I just don't. Instead, I think some people are ignorant and products of environmental small mindedness. Which is sad but also their mental block.
You know what?
I also think this is one of those things that I would have been fine to never, ever know about. Kind of like the person who comes and confesses to her husband that she cheated on him sixteen years ago. I mean, I'm sure some good race relations discussions will come from it, but honestly? I just don't want to be in a world where inner thoughts are being made outer thoughts. I don't want them shoved in my face or stuffed down my throat. If you look at me and think "ignorant black person" or "person beneath me" -- please. Keep it in your head and on your dark, cold heart. Spare me. I mean it.
I can also pass on the selfies of Geraldo Rivera. But that's a whole 'nother hot mess and besides the point.
Sorry for the ramble. I just kind of don't know what to do with this. I seriously don't. And I wish we could just sort of turn back time and let the Clippers have their moment in the spotlight without being pummeled by tomatoes.
JoLai? I'm sorry you had to take one for the team. And even sorrier that, for you, it involved more than just your favorite basketball one.
That's all I got.
***
Happy Wednesday. And shout out to my delicate sister Darlene JoLai aka the original Clippers fan.
I can't stop looking at this stunning image of my sister, JoLai. I actually altered it to look like a painting using (of course) an app on my iPhone. Because I kind of thought it looked like a work of art.
Here's the original picture, which was already artistic on its own, right?
Anyways. Doesn't she look like some kind of chic, hippie goddess?
Yes. Yes!
Haven't y'all heard about the goddess Afro-dite? Mmm hmmm. She's the goddess of love, natural hair, and not giving a damn about greys coming in.
**Warning: Totally nonmedical and random post ahead.**
organized hoarding
Have y'all ever seen one of those shows about the people who hoard stuff? You know. . .the ones with things stacked all the way up to the ceiling and who constantly shop and bring new stuff INTO their house without ever taking anything out?
Well, have you?
Dumb question. . .of course you have. Even if you had every intention of turning the channel, you know you've watched and gasped and OMG'd at those shows before. You stared at the television like it was some kind of dreadful train wreck rubbernecking at the tiny little walkways between those enormous stacks of clothes, trash, or just stuff. Oh, and if you haven't seen one of those shows? It only means you don't have cable--which is a whole different subject for a whole different time.
Anyways.
Since most of you have seen the hoarding shows, you know that there's a few different types of hoarding people. There's the shop-til-you-drop ones who keep buying clothes or knick-knacks until they overtake the entire house. Then there are the folks who, for whatever reason, simply don't throw any trash out. Garbage and old food stacks all over and leads to an overwhelming stench that neighbors eventually smell and call the authorities about. Of course there are the pet hoarders--and these episodes are seriously so disturbing that I won't even describe any of it further.
So at this point I'm sure you are wondering--what the HELL is the point of this post anyway?
Stay with me. I'm going somewhere.
So here's a question--isn't there a little mini-hoarder in us all? I mean. . . look. . . I'll come clean right here and now and tell you that I am definitely an email hoarder. Baby, I have emails from President Obama back when he was still Senator Obama. And worse? I think I even have a few emails saved from before I was married. Bananas, I know.
See, like the folks on those television shows, I had a traumatic event that triggered my electronic hoarding problem. Once someone swore to me that they hadn't promised me something that I was sure they had over email.
I dug and dug through my emails and finally--hallelujah--found that lonely little message. Clear as day, the dude said, "Sure, Kim! Would be glad to do it!"
BWAAHH-HAAH-HAAAAAH!
So quietly. . .I have not deleted a single email since 2006. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. But seriously? I don't think my inbox has been at zero since, like, 2007. (I ain't lyin'.)
But I digress. . . .
That brings me to the subject of this post. . . my sister, JoLai. JoLai. Oh, my dear, dear sister JoLai.
Let's see. JoLai? Um, she's pretty much awesome. In fact, to help you fully understand how great she is, I will share with you this quote from Harry regarding JoLai:
"Anyone who has a problem or an issue with JoLai is an automatic asshole."
(What can I say? The dude is rough around the edges.)
Anyways, this is because JoLai is the easiest person to get along with of all time. And for this reason, she is a friend to everyone. She is also the person that I have now affectionately dubbed. . . wait for it. . .wait for it. . . .
"THE FRIEND HOARDER."
Because she is! She so, so is! I mean it when I tell you this. . . .my sister hoards friends. It's officially hoarding because JoLai brings friends in and never gets rid of them. She's not a "trashy" hoarder. . .she's more like that photo above. . .where everything is neatly organized and categorized. Yeah, that's how she hoards her friends. As a matter of fact, she'll keep your friends, too--even the ones that you lose touch with. Crazy!
Yeah man.
So check it. . . most of it has to do with just how likable she is. I mean, seriously--JoLai is like this person who curiously has achieved the most perfect mix ever of coolness, nerdiness, fun-to-hang-out-with-ness, sports-lover-ness, cultural competency-ness, thoughtfulness, malleable-ness and magnetic personality-ness such that anyone and everyone who gets to know her at some point wants to keep her as a friend. Forever. No, I'm not exaggerating. The friendships are always reciprocated. Forever.
She's the one who takes me for those fancy L.A. pedicures.
Hold up.
Let's be clear here. It's not like JoLai is stalking people and forcing herself upon them. Not at all. She simply has this way of keeping her finger on everyone's pulse and knowing how even the most remote people from the most RANDOM times in our lives are doing. And not in that cursory way, either. She really has spoken to them and really knows. How. They are. Doing.
Case in point:
Last month, JoLai had a big 40th birthday bash. It was in her backyard, and was complete with the most awesome deejay ever, a taco truck (very popular in Los Angeles by the way) and even a bartender. It was relaxed and fun and . . . .seriously? FULL of people from literally every stage of our lives.
Kind of like Facebook on steroids.
JoLai and college pal, Marla--who flew in from Houston.
Let's start with the deejay. When I was in 9th grade, I had a crush on this guy from this family/kid organization we were in called Jack and Jill. Although my crush never became anything, I'd occasionally run into him over the years because he became a fairly popular deejay while we were growing up. But the last time I saw him? Like. . . uhh. . .let's see. . . 1992 maybe?
Okay, so turns out that the deejay thing eventually became his livelihood, and he is totally an "it guy" for parties in and around L.A. I overheard my sister saying that "the deejay" would be arriving to set up--and then she said this guy's name--DeVoux--which isn't a name like "Keith" or "Jeff."
I was floored. "DeVoux? As in from like 9th grade Jack and Jill DeVoux?" I asked incredulously.
"Oh, yeah! That's my buddy!" she said.
Anyways. . . . .unlike me, she remained friends with him over the years. . .and of course he was her deejay. Of course he was.
A few weeks ago, JoLai was at a different party and sent me this picture:
Does that make you crazy? Possibly.
Ummm, yes. That would be Cee-Lo Green. As in "the EFF YOU song" Grammy-winning guy. Turns out that she was at a party with a friend of hers who. . . uuuhhhh. . . was also from our 1980-something Jack and Jill days. Well this old friend just happens to be a stylist to the stars, and JoLai, of course, has not only stayed in touch with her, but is a good friend, too. So naturally she invited JoLai, the least starstruck and least pretentious person ever, to hang out with her and all of the freakin' members of that hit show "The Voice" for their wrap party.
JoLai and Shawn B., stylist to the stars (and friend from J and J back in the day!)
Of course she did.
Her and the (mutual) friend that I, literally, had not seen or spoken to since like eleventh grade.
Speaking of which. Let me get back to the blasts-from-the-pasts that I saw at her party. . . . . a girl from kindergarten, a bunch of kids from the magnet school we were bussed to in 5th to 8th grade, girls from our cheerleading squad, my high school sweetheart--LITERALLY (aka "Cute Boy"), her best friends from elementary and high school, a bunch of people that went to college with us, law school friends of hers, work colleagues. . . . you name it, they were there. And. She was still down with them. And you know what? They were down with her, too.
JoLai with bff since 9th grade, Stacy. Still goin' strong.
Wait, y'all--even my homegirl Bernetta from across the street that used to double dutch with me all day and braid our hair and put tinfoil on the ends.
It was bananas. Bananas!
The girl has remained friends with E-VER-Y-one.
Now seeing as I am the only human being who isn't on Facebook, all of this was just way too exciting for me. And seeing as I am no where near as good as she is about maintaining contact with people from certain seasons past, all night it was like this for me:
Me and Carla--my Varsity Cheer pal from the Class of '88!
Dude. It was like some kind of crazy time warp. For reals.
And as nice as it was to see me, her older sister, every person I saw said, "Oh, you know I couldn't miss JoJo's party!"
Seriously? Seriously.
I mean. . . yes. I have some old friends. But not like JoLai. With one very tiny and completely understandable exception, I cannot think of a single person that she has "drifted apart" from or completely fallen out with. It's amazing.
Man. Y'all had to see this party. I wish I could put it into words better. And for real, this is not because of Facebook, either. JoLai was hoarding friends long before there was a Facebook or MySpace in existence. Ask her about anyone--ANYONE--and she will know their whereabouts.
"What ever happened to ol' boy that use to go with ol' girl?"
"Oh, they just had triplets! Let me show you the picture!"
"What about ol' dude from seventh grade who used to wear those thick glasses?"
"Oh, him? He texted me this morning and said he was so sad he couldn't come. I had forgotten that his daughter's Bat Mitzvah is this weekend. Remind me to get her something, okay?"
His daughter's Bat Mitzvah? Like really? This is no exaggeration.
There have been some instances where drama just makes it impossible for me to keep up with folks. Yet. . .somehow. . .in all of this. . .she averts drama. Like you'd think that with all of these friends stacked up all over her heart that she'd be having to coddle them or deal with their quirks, right? Wrong. For whatever reason, people put their quirks on ice for JoLai. They keep all their crazy at home and give her the best version of themselves. (Me included.)
She's just that person that if you weren't friends with. . .you'd sure wish you were. But the best part is this--you'd never have to stand on the sidelines wanting to be her friend. She'd welcome you into the game long before it even got to that point. That's just how she rolls.
Honestly, I used to marvel at her ability to maintain ties with people so much that it became envy. Eventually (and quickly) I got over that and just realized that this is just who she is. And though I do hold on tight to my fair share of people, there are admittedly some that I honestly couldn't name if my life depended upon it. Some of whom were once every day fixtures during different stages of my life. Eh. This may be represent pathology or some quirk of my own, but oh well.
So. . . there you have it. The story of why I call JoLai the "friend hoarder." And the explanation for why I'm not on Facebook. . . because who needs a Facebook account when you have a JoLai?
JoLai. . . the best friend ever.
If it sounds remarkable, that's because it is. Oh. And if she sounds remarkable, too? It's because she is. Damn, she is.
JoLai and our homegirl, Kelly W. The baby sister of my childhood best friend!
All grown up!
Bernetta -- head of the original neighborhood drillteam and hair salon
Friends since 4th grade. Oh, and she lives in D.C.--not L.A.
My very first real boyfriend--in the dark jacket. (Still friends with Jo.)
First cousin flew in from Dallas--had to be there for JoLai, too.
This was before it really got crowded!
JoLai's BFF Stacy on left and that's DJ DeVoux on the right.
Far left, a friend I haven't seen in literally 25 years. Center, the infamous Bernetta.
Everyone loves Jo!
Including our cousin, Brian, who had to be there, too.
Work friends were there, too.
Old friend Inga from fifth grade on the left, new friend Claudine on the right.
More old friends had to be there for JoLai.
I'm still tripping off of seeing this guy!
(JoLai only knows cute guys.)
Oh, and this cute guy? That would be her man. See, told you.
This night a deejay (who happens to be a friend) saved her life. . .
She sure has a lot of gorgeous friends, right?
Here with our big sis, Deanna!
(She's also an awesome auntie!)
Ah hah.
While looking at these pictures, I just figured it out. JoLai brings out the best in people and makes them like themselves more. This is why she draws people to her light. And this is why once they get to her light, they don't want to go home.
Ah hah.
***
Happy Sunday.
Now playing on my mental iPod. . . . .TLC's "What about your friends?" (a question that no one will EVER ask JoLai. . . )
Honestly? I write this blog to share the human aspects of medicine + teaching + work/life balance with others and myself -- and to honor the public hospital and her patients--but never at the expense of patient privacy or dignity.
Thanks for stopping by! :)
"One writes out of one thing only--one's own experience. Everything depends of how relentlessly one forces from this experience the last drop, sweet or bitter, it can possibly give."
~ James Baldwin (1924 - 1987)
"Do it for the story." ~ Antoinette Nguyen, MD, MPH
Details, names, time frames, etc. are always changed to protect anonymity. This may or may not be an amalgamation of true,quasi-true, or completely fictional events. But the lessons? They are always real and never, ever fictional. Got that?
