Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Reflections from a Tuesday at Grady: Up on the Roof

Up on the roof (of the Grady Parking Deck -courtesy of my iPhone)



"When this old world starts a getting me down,
and people are just too much for me to face.
I'll climb way up to the top of the stairs
and all my cares just drift right into space.

On the roof, it's peaceful as can be
and there the world below don't bother me, no, no. . . ."


from James Taylor's rendition of "Up on the Roof"
(written by Carole King and Gerry Goffin)

________________________________________________________

Up on the roof. . . . .

I had an evening meeting recently and didn't get a chance to leave Grady until it was already dark. As I crossed the street from our office building to the parking garage, I suddenly remembered the craptacular parking lot karma I'd had that morning--translation: I had to park on the tippy-top level of the garage.
Uggghhh. Could hear Harry in my ear: "You better have somebody escort you to your car! I mean it, babe! Don't be crazy!" Seeing as I pride myself on being a good (and noncrazy) wife, I went ahead and asked a kind security officer to join me up the elevator and see me to my vehicle. And just as I would expect of our smiling brigade of parking garage security officers, my request was granted.

The doors immediately opened when I called for the elevator car; not unusual for an after hours lift at Grady. "You must've gotten here late, doc!" teased the officer as I pushed 9 on the key pad.

"Not too late," I replied with a chuckle, "I just had pretty bad parking lot karma this morning. I'm telling you I circled this puppy up and down for fifteen minutes hoping somebody would pull out, but no luck." The officer smiled and gave a knowing nod.

We stepped off of the elevator and into the cool evening air. I gestured to my lonely car in the furthest parking space from where we stood. Without speaking, the officer and I paused for a moment, then looked at each other and laughed.

"Dang doc! They got you in the corner pocket!" He cocked his head to the side and gave me a playful eyebrow raise. "I don't care what you say, doc, you got here late."

"Me? Late? Never!" I laughed out loud at my own joke. I pulled my bag up on my shoulder and strolled out onto the asphalt. My feet were tired, and these crippling three inch pumps (that sounded like a good idea at the time) would be kicked off and thrown in the back seat the minute I reached the car. I could hear my heels clicking across the lot, and felt the vibration of another car rolling down the ramp below me. The officer stopped midway and watched as I made my way over to the truck. Whew. I was secretly relieved as my car was (and still is) offensively dirty. Again could hear Harry asking one of his famous rhetorical questions: "Babe, I just have one question. Were you planning on just keeping your car as dirty as possible on the outside. .. . or. . . " (Nothing ever comes after the "or".)

Just as I reached my truck, I dug around in my purse, grabbed my key and then glanced up for a moment. . . . .what I saw made me freeze in my tracks.
Gasp.

I was suddenly struck by the breathtaking evening view of the Atlanta skyline.The lights were sparkling like a well-lit Christmas tree--spectacular. For some reason, it was like I was seeing it for the very first time. I whispered audibly,"Wow." I reached into my pocket, pulled out my iPhone and snapped a fuzzy picture of it. Even though the picture doesn't do the sight any justice, I like that it serves to remind me of that moment. I peered back over my shoulder at the kind Security officer who'd graciously escorted me up and waved. Thanks. Once I was safely inside my locked car, I threw my high heeled shoes onto Zachary's car seat, turned the ignition and then just sat there for a few moments . . . . .creating my own mental postcard. Sigh.

Today I am reflecting on how crappy parking lot karma became a sweet little gift. Wrapped in a dusty bow, I was treated to a moment of solitude. . . .leading to an appreciation for just one more thing, albeit small and unexpected, that there is to love about working at Grady.
_________________________________________________________________________



Now this will be the theme music I play in my head when I have bad parking lot karma at Grady. . . .aaahhhhh. . . .up on the roof. . . . . I just love James Taylor, so initially chose this one, but admittedly my internal theme music alternates between the JT version and The Drifters version (below.) . Which do you like best?. . (I know what my dad will say already!) .


Monday, March 29, 2010

Quick Reflection before Bedtime: Finding the Fun



"Practice-Based Learning and Improvement" --wait, huh?

Practice-Based Learning and Improvement--That's what the ACGME (Accreditation Council of Graduate Medical Education) calls the most confusing of the six "core competencies" that ALL resident doctors must achieve prior to being released to the world as bonified and sho' nuff physicians. There's this whole fancy definition used by the ACGME that, once you break it down, actually isn't as confusing as it sounds. "Practice-based learning and improvement" really means being a life-long learner, reflecting on what happens around you good, bad or indifferent, and (duh!) looking stuff up when you don't know the answer and applying what you learned later. Even still, as soon as somebody attaches these concepts to the term "practice-based learning and improvement" everybody breaks out in a cold sweat, scratches their head and asks, for the thousandth time. . . Practice-based who and what?

Whether we get it or not, it's our job as medical educators to get our learners proficient at being. . .well . . .learners. . . .and not just any old learners, either--they need to be the life-long kind.

Isaiah and his 'brary card

I was pondering this the other day, and thought of a recent trip I took with my kids to the public library. On a rainy day, we splashed in puddles, sang songs, explored the stacks, found books. . . .had fun. Zachary even created his own "I got a 'brary card!" dance as we walked down the street in downtown Decatur to the frozen yogurt shop where we read books and ate fro-yo. What a delight! That's when I was reminded of this simple truth in learning and teaching: Find the fun. The more I think of it, the more I know this to be true. Every lecture, case, rounds, small group or workshop I've ever participated in as a teacher (or learner) that worked. . . was fun. And each one that didn't work, no matter how much preparation was involved, was not.

Learning with a Dr. Seuss Board Game

So. . .how will I try to get my residents and medical students to be "life-long learners?" It's simple. The same way I'll get my kids to be life-long learners. By finding the fun when I'm teaching. . . . and then helping them to find it for themselves when they're learning. No matter how complicated you try to make it sound, or how old you are. . . . the fun is always in there somewhere. . . . .you just have to find it.


Finding the fun for themselves. . . . .

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Reflections from a Clinician-educator on Match Day: The excitement never dies. . .

IN DEBT? Maybe.
GAINFULLY EMPLOYED? Sho nuff.
"You did it!!"
(with advisee and M4, Bianca S., Emory SOM Match Day)
March 18, 2010
________________________________________________________________

"Match Day"

Different specialties debated

Some must be negated
Anxieties inflated

A choice finally stated

(Though sometimes belated)


Applications created

Arranged and collated
Interviews slated
And, as much as you hate it,

The game--you have played it

A list signed and dated

For this day long awaited. . . .


Your fear, concentrated

The heart, palpitated

Your work, culminated

You'll learn what is fated. . . .


The verdict is stated

Most are e
lated
A few, devastated
(Or inebriated)


All, liberated

The foundation, you've laid it

Go ahead and parade it

And, of course, celebrate it
You've finally made it!


- Dr. M
3/2010



Congratulations to all of the extraordinary senior medical students on your bright and exciting futures -- and the mamas, daddies, aunties, uncles, grandmamas, granddaddies, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends and entire village that got you there!


Go ahead and parade it --and of course, celebrate it! (Lawd KNOWS we did. . . . .)

Match shenanigans circa 1996

Me as celebratory M4 on Match Day-- March 20, 1996
(That was H20 in that cup, Mom and Dad, I promise.)


The excitement never dies. . . . . .

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Reflections from a Grady Doctor in NYC: Skyscrapers and ev'rythang!

*Ode to my friend and fellow Grady doctor, Neil W., who is always in a New York state of mind


Okay, so I took a brief trip to New York City for less than 24 hours this week for work. Usually, I limit my blog posts to Grady or at least the state of Georgia, but New York City is a trip. What's cool about it is this. . . .if you aren't from there, every time you go is like the first time. As soon as I arrive, the first thing I always say is a line from Stevie Wonder's "Livin' for the City":

"New York! Just like I pictured it! Skyscrapers and ev'rythang!"

I texted that line to my friends and family. My friend Lesley M. (also a bonified, born and raised New Yorker) promptly replied by asking if I'd ever been to New York. Explained the Stevie Wonder thing to her best I could.(No worries, Lesley, that song came out in 1973.) My brother, on the other hand, second only to my sister Darlene in his mastery of all things random, rapid fire texted back the next three lines from the song. That is so Draper family.

Things I heard in less than 24 hours in the city:


Riding in the car:

"Hey! What are you? Some kinda moron? Get outta da road!!" He rolls his window up, looks over his shoulder and then smiles at me--sweet as pie. "How you doin'?"

In Starbucks:

"Aaay! Let me get a red eye, grande!"

"RED EYE! GRANDE! WHO'S NEXT!!"

"I'm next. . I'm next. . .Let me get a Black Eye, The Big One."

"YOU MEAN A VENTI?"

"Whateva is the big one. The big one, that one, the big one . . .Venti Vidi Vici! Geeze, the big one." Hilarious.

"BLACK EYE! VENTI!" Love this.

I scan the entire menu. Nothing anywhere says anything about any red eyes, blue eyes, black eyes or any eyes whatsoever. Against better judgment I ask Red-eye lady:


"Excuse me. . . .uh. . . .what is a 'red eye?'"

"WHAT'S A RED-EYE!??" the Red-eye woman answers in unison with Starbucks barista who overheard me asking. (People in New York talk loudly, but for some reason, no matter how softly you speak, they hear you, and then repeat what you said in Dolby Stereo for all who didn't.) "Uh. . yeah. . .I don't see it. . " I look up at the menu and point. Red-eye lady, Dolby-barista, and Black-eye bully all laugh. . . .but nice thing. . .sort of with me, no at me. Black-eye Bully says, "Red eye is a cup a joe with a shot of espresso. Black is a cup a joe with two shots of espresso." I say, "Why would anyone want two shots of extra espresso in the biggest cup of Starbucks coffee?" Red-eye lady, Dolby-barista, and Black-eye bully all laugh again. This time at me.

And finally, grabbing a bite with a friend:

Just stepped into this little dive of a burger joint that felt very much like I was in the "it" place. Standing room only, folks everywhere. Only thing on the menu you can order: Burger, Burger + cheese, fries, shake (vanilla or chocolate.) Nothing else. Not gardenburgers, no grilled chicken, no nada. It's packed, so obviously, it is very good. With my friend, Natalie L., who suggested the spot and walked with me chic-ly with locked arms through midtown 'til we reached the place. Felt very Carrie and Samantha, especially because I was wearing 3 inch heels. (Forgot my flats.) Okay, back to the burger joint. People everywhere, no place to sit. Someone clears a booth and three swanky twenty-somethings slink over to sit down before we can. I am mortified when Nat looks at swank-a-licious trio and says: "Can we join you guys in this booth?" I am thinking, Is she crazy? This is New York! Fugeddaboudit! Then much to my surprise they say, "Sure . . ." The swank-a-licious trio scoots over and makes room for us totally nonchalantly. . .in their booth in a burger joint. Note: This is NOT a big booth. This thing fits two on each side comfy cozy, three on each side is kind of tight. But they didn't even flinch. "Sure, go ahead." I start making obligatory Southernly hospitable small talk, only to learn, I have lots to learn about New York booth sharing etiquette. After two or three short answers to my questions, Nat starts chatting away with me while noshing on her medium burger and our bag of greasy fries for two. Then I notice that swanksters are also chitting y chatting with not so much as a glance in our direction. They literally let us sit down--no obligation to chat. I whisper to Nat, "We don't have to talk to each other? That's so funny." Nat laughs and says, "Oh no. . .you can sit with me, but no, don't talk to me." It was incredibly odd. . .yet wonderfully entertaining and blogworthy.

I am now back in Atlanta, in the comfort of my "y'alls" and "yes, ma'ams." I do enjoy New York, though, and love any chance I get to visit. Even still I need some clarity. . . . .

Questions for my New York friends:


  • Why do y'all talk so LOUD?
  • Why does anyone need two shots of espresso in an already strong coffee? (Starbucks is, like, the strongest of the strong! Uggghh!)
  • It's an oxymoron. . . why are y'all nice enough to let somebody sit in your personal space, but too mean to hold a conversation with them once they get there?
  • Why do y'all have such great public transportation but still have horrible traffic?
  • Seriously, why do y'all talk so LOUD?


Do tell. . . .

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Reflections from a Woman in Medicine at Grady: What happens to a dream deferred?

LADIES FIRST. . . .

Rebecca Lee Crumpler, first African-American woman to graduate a U.S. medical school

_________________________________________________

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
~ by Langston Hughes
__________________________
____________________
  • In 1849, Elizabeth Blackwell became the first woman to graduate from a U.S. medical school in N.Y.
  • In 1864, Rebecca Lee Crumpler became the first black woman to graduate from a U.S. medical school in New England.
  • In 1915, women represented approximately 5% of the physician workforce in the U.S.
  • In 1983, women represented approximately 1/3 of U.S. medical school matriculants.
  • In 1976, Grady doctor and cardiologist Nanette K. Wenger is recognized as one of Time Magazine's Women of the year, and in 1998 she is named Chief of Cardiology.
  • In 2006, women represented nearly one half of all U.S. medical school matriculants and graduates.
  • In 2008, my medical school classmate Yolanda Wimberly wins the prestigious AAMC Humanism in Medicine Award
  • In 2009, my colleague Lisa Bernstein becomes the youngest and one of few female recipients of the Papageorge Teaching Award, one of the highest teaching awards attainable at Emory University School of Medicine.
  • In 2009, my colleague Stacy Higgins wins the Outstanding Clinician-Generalist Award, the highest honor given to a general internist at Emory.
  • In 2009 and 2010, I celebrated the completion of residency training with fifteen women I supervise in clinic each week--only a small representation of the strong presence of women in residency training at our program, and women in the physician workforce.
  • In 2008, I asked my preschool aged son, Isaiah, if he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. His answer? "No way! I'm a boy! Doctors are girls!"
  • You've come a long way, babygirl!
Grady doctor and Cardiology icon: Dr. Nanette K. Wenger, Professor of Medicine
still goin' strong. . .56 years after graduating from med school

Grady doctor Dr. Yolanda H. Wimberly, Meharry Class of '96
Doin' her thang at the Morehouse School of Medicine
Past and present women Grady doctors: Stacy H., Jada B-J, Ingenia G., Lisa B., and me
SGIM National Meeting 2009

Dr. Stacy Higgins wins Outstanding Clinician Award, 2009

Women as leaders: Grady Chief Residents 2008-2009, Dr. Paulina R. and Dr. Karen L.
(pictured here with Dr. Stacy H. and me)

Following Rebecca Lee's footsteps: 2009 Emory Internal Medicine Graduates
Aliya H., Angie R., and Tenecia D.
The Original Grady's Angels: Doctors, Mommies, and Friends
Me and Drs. Natalie Levy, and Lesley Miller
Brains and beauty: my seven senior residents from clinic,
Emory Department of Medicine Class of 2010
Christina P., Eva R., Rathi P., (me), Ayushi A., Sameera A., Julie E., Darina S.
More of Rebecca Lee's descendants
What happens to a drea
m deferred? It explodes!Meharry Girls, School of Medicine Class of '96
Dr. Tracey Lemon-Sams, Meharry Class of '96
Awesome OB/Gyn, Awesome-er friend
Esteemed catcher of both Manning babies (pictured with baby Zachary)

Dr. Erica B. and me, 2008 Emory University SOM
Deans Teaching Award Recipients
Dr. Lisa B. Bernstein, recipient of the 2009 Papageorge Distinguished Teaching Award
(a really, really big deal--case in point: last female to receive it? Uh, see Nanette Wenger, above. Hello?!)



Meharry Alumni, Tuskegee Alumni, and College sorority sisters
with Dr. Falona G.
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Chapter Anniversary Celebration, Tuskegee 2008
The future is bright: Emory medical students, Hreem D., Antoinette N. and Carrie N.

______________________________________________________

"Cause they see a woman standing up on her own two

Sloppy slouching is something I won't do

Some think that we can't flow (can't flow)

Stereotypes, they got to go (got to go)

I'm a mess around and flip the scene into reverse

(With what?) With a little touch of 'Ladies First'. . . ."



~ Queen Latifah, "Ladies First" circa 1989

Kickin' it Old School with a little "Ladies First" by Queen Latifah (before the acting career and Covergirl campaign)
~The
original sistagirl's anthem!~

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Reflections from the Culture at Grady: The "Air Apparent" Theory and other reasons I ain't goin'

*details changed in this story to deidentify patient and protect anonymity--based on an amalgamation of true events (xray from Google images)


"Yes, and how many times must a man look up
before he can see the sky?
Yes and how many ears must one man have
before he can hear people cry?

. . .The answer my friend
is blowin' in the wind
the answer is blowin' in the wind. . . ."

from Bob Dylan "Blowin' in the Wind"

 
______________________________________________________
"I'm perplexed," said one of our residents, Christina P., as we sat in clinic one day. "Remember Mr. Porter, that guy that we got the chest x ray on that day? You know--the one that had the lung nodule?"

"Wait, why'd we get a chest x ray on him?" I asked while filling out a form our social worker had given me a few moments earlier.

"He'd been coughing--he's a pretty heavy smoker and had noticed a few blood streaks."

"Hmm. Sounds kind of bronchitis-ish, don't you think? Weight loss?" I thought for a moment. Oh yeah, that isn't what she was asking me. I chuckled at my tendency to digress, but paused when I looked up and saw the worry filling her blue eyes. "Wait--I'm sorry. . .what about him?"

She sighed and plunged her hand through her pin straight blond hair in frustration. "Well. . .I got him a chest CT, and then a CT-guided biopsy of the nodule."

I was confused. Sounded like she had done everything right. "Uh, okay and?"

"It's squamous cell lung cancer. Stage 1. Totally resectable. We caught it extremely early."

Um okay. "Wow. Fortunate that you thought to order that x-ray that I was giving you a hard time about." I smiled, but she didn't, which was unlike Christina. "Seems like good news unless I'm missing something, Christina. Have you told him? How did he take the news?"

Christina lay the chart down on the desk and shrugged her shoulders. "He's here now and I just finished seeing him. We spoke at length and he took it fine. Remarkably fine." She furrowed her brow and tapped her pen on the desk. "But. . . . he won't even let me talk about referring him to cardiothoracic surgery. I mean no way, no how. Before I even saw him, I had gone through all this trouble to get him an expedited appointment, but he was resolute. All he keeps saying is, 'I don't want nobody cutting on me.' "

"Hmmm. Do you mind me asking. . . .is he--" without thinking, I pointed at the brown skin on the back of my hand "--African-American?" Christina nodded. "Hmmm." We sat in silence for a few moments.

"Why do you ask?" The concern she had for Mr. Porter was painted all over her face. Christina and I had worked together in the resident clinic for nearly three years. Now, at nearly the end of her residency, our discussions about patients felt more like collegial chats than that between teacher and learner. Even still, I had a not-so-evidence based teaching point that I thought might apply here.

"Christina, have you ever heard any old wives tales about surgery and cancer? There is one belief, in particular, that is quite prevalent in the black community." I waited to see if she knew. "Any thoughts?"

She narrowed her eyes and thought for a moment, hoping some prior experience at Grady might jog her memory. "Hmmm. . . no. Not off hand, Dr. Manning."

"There's this thought that cutting someone open and letting air get to their cancer cells could lead to it spreading. It's a pretty prevalent belief," I told her.

I then reflected on a phone conversation I'd had several years ago with my late Auntie Mattie, who had been diagnosed with cancer. My Auntie Mattie was a stoic, tell-it-like-it-is woman who lived life with zeal. She was robust, smart, spunky, and always decisive. I was early in my training when she was being assessed for surgical intervention for her malignancy, and despite the years that have passed, I never forgot her words about refusing surgery.

"Ain't nobody cutting on me. I'll take the chemo, the radiation and whatever else they got, but ain't nobody cutting me open and letting the air hit my insides."

It was the first time I had ever heard this concept. I decided to explore it further with her. "What do you mean 'the air hitting your insides?' Everything in the OR is sterile, Auntie. The air won't infect you."

"I ain't worried about infections. Everybody know that when you cut open somebody with cancer and the air hit that cancer it spreads. Everybody knows that." No, Auntie, not everybody.

"Are you serious?" I asked while shaking my head and staring at the phone receiver. She cannot be serious. "Come on, Auntie Mattie. That's ridiculous. Air doesn't do anything to cancer." I waited for her response. Silence. "Auntie?"

Then she unleashed stories of at least 5 people that she knew personally who'd been diagnosed with cancer, had surgery, and then subsequently learned that it had metastasized (spread.) I kept trying to get a word in, but she wasn't budging on the theory. To her, it was apparent. Air. Spreads. Cancer.

Air--the devil in disguise


I have since had countless close encounters with the "air apparent" concept. And just like that day when I spoke to my Auntie Mattie, I feel myself turning blue in the face as I explain that sometimes people who get surgery for cancers are already pretty advanced in their disease, making the efficacy surgery limited. But much like my auntie, most of these folks are pretty firm in their position. Like my med school classmate Jada R. says, "Girl, she ain't goin'!" (The Memphis way of saying, "She ain't going for nothing you're saying.")

It turns out that Mr. Porter wasn't goin' for much of anything. Chemo? No'm. Radiation? No'm. Surgery? Oh hell naw, y'all ain't cuttin' me open.

Along with Christina, I pulled out every stop to explain how early his diagnosis was made, and how fortunate it was that this was the case. "Surgery could put all of this behind you," I implored. "You're not even seventy five, sir. And you're otherwise healthy." Silence. Sigh. "What does your family think about this, sir? Mr. Porter, have you spoken to them?"

"Yeah, and they said they don't blame me. 'Specially the surgery part." Take that, Miss Manning. Fifteen minutes later, I had to finally accept the obvious. Girl, he ain't goin'. At least, not today.

What Mr. Porter had in common with my Auntie Mattie is that he was senior-aged African American reared in the south. What's the significance of that? That's simple. Some pseudobarriers to health care are more cultural than anything else. Perhaps it has to do with growing up in a Jim Crow era where just about everything you received was secondhand, separate and no way no how equal. Or just maybe you read the paper in the 70's and discovered that less than two hours away from your home, men your daddy's age were being used as a big ol' human syphilis experiment. Then again on another day, it could be that your grandmama, and her grandmama before her--you know, the ones who told you that babies that "sit high" are boys, and that if your face and nose swell when you're with child, then "it's a girl all day," 'cause everybody knows that girls rob your beauty-- yeah, those same grandmamas who told you those pearls of wisdom also told you that being "cut on" was bad news, especially if it was cancer. Air + Cancer = Bad -- which by the time you turn seventy-anything translates to "Oh hell naw y'all ain't cuttin' on me."

Yeah. So just maybe your take on things isn't that you're ignorant or ornery or difficult or mentally ill. Just maybe it's cultural, and if somebody took two seconds to explore yours, they'd fully understand exactly why you ain't goin'.


I think it's our job to fold culture into our understanding of our patients just like blueberries into pancake batter. Every belief, value, and custom adds to the finished product--and when carefully considered, make for better doctor-patient interactions. And so, lucky for me, it turns out that understanding the souls of southern black folks is a perk--especially at Grady. Admittedly, as the child of a sixty-something year old African American Alabama natives, I was born into this understanding--- which sort of feels like cheating, but that's okay. Getting the "culture" dialogue going, no matter how it happens, is always a good thing. It opens everyone up to be authentic; which always makes things better if you ask me.

Learning about people and who they are, and then actually remembering what they say, is an act of love. And even though many might not think of their feelings for patients as "love," in my experience, it sure does make a person feel good when someone cares enough to explore more than just the basics.

"Lovely accent--where are you from?"

"Guyana. Guyana, South America."


"Right, that's near Venezuela, correct?"


"Wow, I'm impressed. Whenever I say 'Guyana', people think I mean 'Ghana' in Africa."


"Yeah, my last Guyanese patient schooled me, so I was ready for you."


*Smile*


Showing love. . . . .

Sometimes it's as simple as determining if a Chinese patient speaks Cantonese or Mandarin, or taking the time to find out if an African person who looks Ethiopian is indeed Ethiopian or instead Eritrean, or perhaps recognizing that all Spanish-speaking patients aren't Mexican--they just might be from Uruguay or Guatemala or even El Paso, Texas, or it could be remembering that your last Muslim female patient preferred not to see a male doctor, so this time taking it upon yourself to ask that nice woman in the waiting room clad in a hijab just who she's scheduled to see. . . .and yeah, sometimes it's simply acknowledging that beliefs run deep and can, literally, scare people to death. . . . like fear of the potential for air to make quietly hibernating cancers on the inside awaken to become ferocious, spreading beasts.


After every possible example, explanation, scary what-if, and usually persuasive hypothetical, Mr. Porter still didn't agree to see the surgeons that day. But he did say something to Christina at the end of that visit that I did find reassuring:

"I guess I'll thank about it, since y'all care so much and asking me so many questions. I never had nobody spend so much time asking me questions and caring about me like that."

Believe it or not, it's actually been studied, and it looks like air probably doesn't make cancer spread. . . . .but you know what I think does? Not listening and not caring. Being a little "culturally competent" just may be your only explanation for what otherwise would be completely perplexing--like Mr. Porter saying no to a potentially lifesaving treatment, and his whole family cosigning his position. . . . . .

. . . . .Thanks to Christina committing herself to trying to understand more than just the basics about her patient, she was able to evolve "I ain't goin'" to "I'll thank about it." And if you know the souls of black folks like I do, that's a pretty big deal. :)

_________________________________________________________________
Food for Thought:

Never heard the "Cancer spreads when air hits it" theory? Google this: 

"if air hits cancer it will spread"

and see how many hits you get. . .or better yet, read this great NY times article from 2003:

Homework assignment:

Learn 3 things about 3 people of completely different cultures than your own this week.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Reflections from a Thursday at Grady and Beyond: The Advocate



Three reasons to be a patient advocate. . .Daddy, Zachary and Isaiah
"Camp Pa-Pa" - California Summer 2009

____________________________________________________________
"I did a 10 mile walk to mark ten years," my dad told me when I asked him how he celebrated the New Year. I knew exactly to what he was referring.

"Wow, Poopdeck," I replied, "It's been ten years already? Dag."

"Yep, ten whole years on December 31. And I've never felt better."
_____________________________________________________________

Cleveland, Ohio ~ December 1999


In December of 1999, I was a senior resident rotating in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit. Less than a year away from completing a 4 year residency in combined Internal Medicine and Pediatrics, I finally felt like I was coming into my own. Call wasn't so scary any more, my pager no longer made me feel nauseated, and overhead sirens signaling an unstable patient felt as every day as a telephone ringing. December 30, one of my many nights on call, was no different.

My pager went off a few hours after dinner time, and I noticed that it was an operator number. This almost always suggested an outside caller. It had been pretty slow that night, so I was sitting at the nurse's station eating leftover holiday snacks and goofing off with the staff between admissions. I secretly hoped it was a personal call. (Yep, this was back when you kept your cell phone in your locker and used it only for emergencies.)

"Operator. This is Drema. How may I direct your call?" a polite voice said on the other end.

"Good evening, this is Dr. Draper. I was paged?" I gave my most cheerful greeting to the operator while doodling on an index card. Maybe the call was social, but I knew that it was also a very good chance it could be an outside hospital calling for an emergent transfer. Ugggh. I hoped for the former.

"I have Mr. Draper holding, Dr. Draper. I'll connect you if that's okay." I looked at the clock, and it was nearly 9pm where I was in Cleveland, Ohio. 6pm on the west coast meant Dad was home and off work. I loved hearing from him on my call nights--he was interested in anything I told him, no matter how common. ("Sickle Cell Anemia? Wow! That's interesting.")

"Okey dokey," I replied feeling relieved that it wasn't an admission. Then I remembered my manners. "You doing okay tonight, Drema?" (Yes, I still remember the Operator I spoke to that night.)

"Sure am, Dr. Draper, thanks for asking. Here's your dad, hon'."

When Daddy got on the phone, he sounded a little bit funny. He immediately started telling me about a pain that he'd been having in his left shoulder and back. "I played 36 holes yesterday," I recall him explaining, "but it really is hurting pretty bad. I've been taking ibuprofens, but it just doesn't seem like an 'ibuprofen' kind of pain."

"Well, what kind of pain is it then?" I queried while still drawing on the card. Dad called me to ask about minor aches, pains and health-related concerns all the time--his and that of his friends, siblings and acquaintances-- so this was nothing unusual. I yawned and kicked off my clogs under the counter.

"Hmmmm. I don't know how to describe it. It's been going on for several hours now, I know that. I mean. . .it's not like a pain like in your joint.. . .like when I move it, that doesn't change it." I imagined him moving his shoulder, which I am sure he was doing as if I could see him. Dad sighed. "I told you I don't know how to describe it."

"36 holes is a lot, Dad. Did you hit the range first?"

"Yes. . . .but it just seems like it would hurt more when I move it, don't you think?" (I'm pretty sure he was moving it again for me.)

"Yeah . . . . .it really should if it is an overuse injury." I had an idea. "How 'bout you do your best to compare what the pain is like to something you've felt before. Sharp like stepping on a pin? Dull like a toothache? Stabbing like. . .uh. . .a stab? Just describe something that you've felt before to give me an idea." Deciding to multitask, I reached into my lab coat to look over the list of patients on my cross-cover sheet that night and yawned again. So far, everyone was behaving. Maybe I would get a few hours of shut-eye in the call room before morning rounds. I lay my head down with my ear on top of the receiver waiting for Daddy to go on.

"It's like. . . . " I could tell his wheels were turning," . . . it's like. . . .kind of like somebody sprayed something cold inside my shoulder and between my shoulder blades."

I immediately bolted upright. "Like what?" I firmly interrogated. He repeated the statement, but this time he added "kinda like accidentally biting a piece of ice, but in my shoulder and back." Shoot. I jumped up, stuck my feet into my Birkenstocks and started pacing with the phone. Like something cold? Shoot! This sounds visceral, I thought referring to the indescribable pain associated with internal organs. Shoot!

"Daddy! How long has this been going on? When did it start? Are you sweating?" I blasted him with questions feeling my anxiety grow. After spending an entire month taking histories from all kinds of patients experiencing sho nuff and bonified heart attacks, I was very much in tune with the significance of these kinds of subtle complaints. I wanted more information.

"Most of the day," he replied. "I saw my primary doctor earlier and he gave me the ibuprofens. It just kept hurting so I thought I'd see what you thought." I tried not to sound worried, but I was. I really, really was. I could feel my heart beginning to pound in my chest, and place my hand on it in an effort to calm down.

"Listen to me, Daddy. Listen to me, okay? I want you to have JoLai take you straight to the nearest emergency room. When you get there, tell them you have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and that heart attacks and strokes run in your family. Then tell them you have chest pain and that you're sweating."

"But I don't have chest pain, and I'm not sweating," he countered.

"I know, Daddy, but I'm worried about this pain and I don't want anybody to blow you off." I knew it was a white lie, but I also knew the cold hard facts about black folks being turned away with atypical cardiac complaints. Fortunately, I knew Dad would do whatever I said. I immediately called my younger sister on the three-way who promptly headed over to pick him up. They called me as soon as they reached the ER, and promised to keep me posted.


Several hours later, I learned that my father was found by the ER physicians to have a very abnormal EKG that even a first month first year medical student would recognize as an acute myocardial infarction (heart attack.) They admitted him to the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit at our local community hospital, and early that morning his nurse let me speak to him. I still remember the sounds of beeping IV pumps and monitors in the background.

"My shoulder is a little better but it still hurts in my back some. They have the glass bottle pain medicine at the maximum, but my nice nurse just gave me some morphine and it helped a little." I could tell he was being brave so that I wouldn't worry, but my medical knowledge was sounding alarms in my head. I didn't want to scare him, but I am pretty sure I did with my silence.

What? He is maxed out on nitroglycerin and STILL is in pain? He is STILL in pain twelve hours later???? Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! "Daddy, let me speak to your nurse."

As soon as she got on the phone, I learned that Dad's first cardiac muscle injury/enzyme marker blood test (troponin) was 4.6 in the emergency department. (normal is less than 0.04) His repeat troponin 4 hours later was 22. (Yes, medical students and residents--you read that right: my father had a repeat troponin of TWENTY frickin' TWO!) "Beg pardon?" I gasped, needing her to repeat it as I was sure I'd heard wrong. "Oh, I'm sorry. It's twenty two point one," she read from the computer. Whaaa?

I thought that I would vomit. I hung up the phone and, like a lifeless zombie, I rejoined post call rounds with my team in the unit. My attending, Dr. Biblo, saw that every bit of color had drained from my face, and thoughtfully asked what was wrong. I burst into tears and told him my father was in a CICU in L.A. with a troponin of 22, the highest I had ever heard or seen in my life. I also told my attending that the cardiologist had not reached the hospital to do a cardiac catheterization yet, and that I was terrified. He excused me from rounds to go cry in a call room, which I appreciate to this day.

Dr. Biblo sat beside me when I called the west coast cardiologist after rounds. That absentee cardiologist left me holding for several minutes listening to monotonous recordings with the operator, and once he took my call, he nonchalantly told me that he was in the parking lot and preparing to cath my dad. He also told me that "things in residency aren't the same as real life." I'll never forget the way he trivialized my concern for my father. (I vowed then never to do the same.) After the catheterization, he called me back and, with a snarky tone, informed me matter-of-factly that my dad needed bypass surgery. "There was nothing I could do in the cath lab anyway," he added with a smug chuckle. "See? It isn't always like you see on tv and in residency." In other words, naaa nanny boo boo. Jerk.

By this point I'd managed to secure a plane ticket to leave for L.A. that evening. Ironically, I'd been angry all month that I didn't have plans for the big Millenium New Year's eve that year. Fickle fate--now I did. So much for partying like it was 1999--I needed to be about my father's business. A few hours later, I sat in the airport where my mother called me on my cell phone from the unit after Dad's cardiac catheterization.

"Daddy's groggy, but he's a trooper!" she tried to sound cheerful. At this point, I was 100% business.

"Is he still in pain? Ask him, Mommy," I ordered. I overheard her ask him.

"A little in his back still and between his shoulders, but he says the morphine helps." Still in pain? Still??? Now I was sure I would throw up.

"Mommy, let me speak to his nurse right now. Hurry up, Mommy." She sounded puzzled at the urgency in my voice as she called for the nurse. When the nurse came to the phone, I demanded to know what time he was going to surgery and if his blood pressure was stable. When she told me it was "on the low normal side" and that "I think the surgery was scheduled for tomorrow afternoon as an add-on"-- I completely lost my cool. Even more infuriating than what she said was the patronizing voice she was using. (I promised myself then that I'd make every effort not to do that, either.)

"Are you kidding me, ma'am? You cannot be serious about his blood pressure. What the hell!! He is actively infarcting as we speak! Don't you know that time is muscle? This is crazy! Where is his cardiologist? I need to speak to him right now!" I felt like I was in the twilight zone or on a very bad episode of that show "Punk'd." By this point, all of my etiquette, professionalism and manners were black history. The nurse defensively backpedaled and explained that the cardiologist was gone for the day, but that "the cardiothoracic surgeon, Dr. Z., was aware of the case." The case? The case?!? This was my father. My world. My hero. Not a damn case! I erupted into tears and hung up in her face.

Unsure of what to do, I called my CICU attending Dr. Biblo again, and did my best to explain what had happened. I was crying so hard I could barely speak. All I could think about was that my dad was an active guy, extremely active, and that this delay would leave him likely with disabling heart failure, or worse, death. I could tell that Dr. Biblo knew I was right. "I'm so sorry, Kim," he offered.

"I should overhead page that surgeon in California and talk to him myself. I know his name. They told me." I sniffled to my attending through the phone. I felt so helpless.

"You've nothing to lose by doing that," he responded sounding completely serious. I was actually speaking a bit tongue in cheek, but his vote of confidence was all I needed, no matter how crazy the suggestion. If I didn't at least try, I had something big to lose--my dad. I threw caution to the wind and called the hospital operator where he was admitted. I identified myself cryptically as "Dr. Draper" and nothing else. Before I knew it, I was connected to a man with some kind of Latin sounding accent.

"Hello, this is Dr. Draper. Is this Dr. Z?" I asked anxiously.

"This is," he cheerfully answered. I already liked the sound of his voice. He sounded trustworthy and like he'd at least listen. I launched into my presentation of my father, Mr. William Draper, a 56 year old African-American man with hypertension, hyperlipidemia, and who'd had an ST elevation myocardial infarction the day before. I gave as much detail as I could, down to his last set of vitals and then implored him, "My dad is so active, sir. He cannot wait until tomorrow to have his myocardium (heart muscle) perfused. He cannot. Please." I felt my voice wavering and I tapped my foot, begging myself not to cry. It was the most important patient presentation of my whole life; all over a cheap cell phone in the Cleveland Airport terminal.

"Aaah," he said and then paused. I held my breath until it felt like I was going to faint. "It's your lucky day, Dr. Draper. My scheduled patient had a lunch tray. I will call for your father now if he hasn't eaten." I heard him say a few things to the OR crew.

"He hasn't! He hasn't eaten!" I screamed, "Let me call my mom now to make sure he doesn't! Oh my God. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" My voice was quivering and my hands were shaking as I hung up and quickly dialed my mom's phone. As fast as I could, I replayed our conversation and confirmed that Dad hadn't eaten. Divine intervention--they had just brought his tray--but he hadn't touched it. "Thank you, Lord!" I uttered aloud. I hung up, and boarded a plane to Los Angeles. . . . .praying the whole way there.

***

Dad did well in surgery, and recovered in cardiac rehab like a champ. Ten years later to the day, my father briskly walked ten miles in celebration of a decade of health and life--post myocardial infarction and post bypass surgery. To this very day, he gets up at 5 am and walks 5 miles every single morning, and sometimes, if he feels like it, a little bit more. I still get a wave of nausea when I think about that terrifying day, the same day he celebrates.

Many days, I still ask myself:

What if my Dad didn't have a daughter who was a doctor?
What if I hadn't been hearing chest pain/heart disease stories all month long?

What if he'd waited until the next day to get his vessels bypassed?


I shudder at the thought and then thank the Lord that it remains a "what if" and not a reality.

***

Yesterday in the Grady gift shop


"Excuse me, doc, can I ask you a question?" a young woman asked me as I sifted through the granola bars.

"Sure," I replied assuming she was lost in the hospital.

She showed me a bottle. "What is this medicine, doctor?"I leaned forward and read the label. Lisinopril. I wondered why she was on it.

"This your only medication?" I asked. She nodded. "You have sugar?" I added on. She shook her head no. "A weak heart?"

"No, ma'am. Just borderline high blood pressure." I stood up and faced her to give her my full attention.

"How old are you?" I studied her twenty-something year old face. No more than twenty five was my guess.

"Twenty-seven." I squinted my eyes and then noticed a tattoo on her right upper arm with a name that started with a "k."

"Your baby?" I asked with a smile, aware of the practice of many young urban mothers of inking the name of their children on their skin. She quickly looked over at her arm and grinned. She nodded, but I could tell she was wondering what I was getting at. "You had your tubes tied?" Again she shook her head and looked confused.

"This medicine may not be the best choice for you. Women who still can get pregnant should avoid it because if you are on it when you get pregnant it can affect your baby. I suggest you head upstairs and ask your doctor about it, okay?"

"Okay. . . " she replied staring at the bottle. "Wow thanks. . . .thanks. 'Preciate you, doctor."

The clerk behind the counter chimed in. "Oh yeah, that's Dr. Manning. She take care of all of us. Member when my foot was hurting?" I looked over at the friendly shop attendant and chuckled. She helped me diagnose her with plantar fasciitis (a common musculoskeletal foot malady) in that very shop a few years ago. I managed to get her a clinic appointment that same day--all while chomping on a granola bar.

"You know I got your back," I teased. I looked back at the young woman. "Go on and take this up to the clinic and ask to speak to one of the senior doctors. They can help give you something different for your blood pressure. I'm sure they won't mind, okay?"

She repeated her earlier statement--a common one at Grady-- before disappearing through the glass doors. " 'Preciate you." (Grady code for "Thank you.")


So today, I guess I am reflecting on what a blessing it is to have someone advocating on your behalf when you are sick or even when you aren't. It's amazing how many folks are out there clawing and fighting just to "get it" and how different the outcomes can be without someone in your corner--especially someone with a medical background.

All of this has made me try just a little bit harder to be an advocate for my family and my Grady patients, now more than ever. When I walk through the hall, I try to look approachable. . . .I smile at people, say "Good Morning" or "You doin' alright?" in the lobby, creating a climate for someone to hand me a bottle or piece of paper or to even show me a rash on their hand. (Crazy, I know.) I am even more careful with the intonation of my voice when taking phonecalls; I want to sound as welcoming as Dr. Z did that day when he answered my overhead page back in 1999. Realizing the awesome responsibility given to me--not just being a doctor, but a Grady doctor--has changed me. It's made me more patient with people's stories and there littlest concerns. It's made me take pause in the hallway when someone stops me instead of feeling annoyed. Now I know-- I might be all they have.

One week ago, I talked to my brother Will--a busy Veterinary surgeon and business owner--about severe wrist pain he was experiencing. A few questions later, we'd quickly reached a diagnosis of DeQuervain's tenosynovitis (a wrist injury from overuse.) Two days ago, I met him in his Decatur office to check on how he was doing. Turns out, it was a super simple diagnosis, but one that could have taken him several steps--a referral, missed work, and hassle-- to get. He was so appreciative.

"You know I have your back!" I told him as he helped me load the kids into the car. He smiled and gave me a big hug.

As I drove off, I felt warm inside. I thought about being afforded the opportunity to be a doctor by my parents, and how good it felt to be able to help out. I stopped at a red light and sighed. I listened to the ambient noise of my kids chattering behind me in their seats. Wow. Glad to have my brother. Glad to have my father ten years later and glad he is alive and well enough to know and enjoy his little grandsons. And glad God saw fit to make me a doctor and lead me to Grady, where I get the chance to walk in my purpose every single day. I looked skyward and sighed again.

" 'Preciate you," I whispered as I pulled off. " 'Preciate you."



". . . .From everyone who has been given much,
much will be demanded;

and from the one who has been entrusted with much,
much more will be asked.
"

- Luke 12:48

*Written with Dad's permission