tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post1287760635165537880..comments2023-10-26T05:49:59.824-04:00Comments on Reflections of a Grady Doctor: The other day.gradydoctorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10639816377218206777noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-17923655594880389412013-04-29T18:04:03.761-04:002013-04-29T18:04:03.761-04:00"...for the rest of my life Deanna's spir..."...for the rest of my life Deanna's spirit will walk into rooms and sometimes catch me off guard when I least expect it. And that some parts of that experience will rise up mighty and collapse me sometimes and to just be tender to myself when they do." <br /><br />Thank you. I sure did need this today. Thank you. Bridget McCarthyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15989230513113751517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-34115319232934424212013-04-22T09:38:03.707-04:002013-04-22T09:38:03.707-04:00If your intention is always to "do no harm&qu...If your intention is always to "do no harm", then the Holy Spirit and the spirits of those who have passed will lead you to share when it is appropriate. Sharing loss and grief to those that are grieving doesn't add to their pain, but is healing to their loss.<br /><br />A few weeks ago I was present at the death of my best friends mother. It was just me and her two daughters, in her home, no machines (except oxygen), her dog on her bed. It truly was the most peaceful and loving passing I have ever seen. I hope to see it many more times in my lifetime. The love and compassion that we share with those that are dying and those that are living with death makes all the difference in the world. I then had to officiate at her funeral on Monday. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't hard, because of all the love. Love just makes everything feel a little bit better.<br /><br />It ain't fair that Deanna died and you will never ever be the same, but I am thankful that you are sharing your loss and love with us and everyone in your path because it does make it just a little bit easier, lightens our load a wee bit and the comfort that this road of grief is long, but we do not walk it alone.Jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06744125557101852519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-70048457298360613202013-04-21T09:59:59.244-04:002013-04-21T09:59:59.244-04:00"It's such a personal walk so being more ..."It's such a personal walk so being more restrained also gives the person space to be where they're at and gives me time to see what they need from me".<br /><br />Wow. Yes, friend, this so makes sense. This is a lesson I will *never* forget. Sometimes when another person is grieving, even though our heart may be full with the best of intentions, we *assume* we know what the person needs to hear, when in reality sometimes doing less is actually doing more. <br /><br />Although by nature I'm much more of an observer than a talker, I am 100% positive that I've been guilty of "trying too hard" in an effort to be a source of comfort to someone. From reading your post, I've made a personal commitment to listen even more when someone is hurting so that I can greater respect their personal process. Thank you for being used to both mature my empathy and give me greater understanding.<br /><br />This takes me back to a previous post where you "unpacked" about the misjudgments from others on your reactions to Deanna's passing. The danger of presumption...yea, as humans, sometimes we are *so* off and we totally and completely miss it...<br /><br />I don't consider myself to be a "religious" person...but your thoughtful explanation reminds me of a passage I've read in James -- "let every man be swift to hear and slow to speak". You are a true teacher in every sense of the word. I sincerely thank you for just allowing us to be a part of your journey:)<br /><br />(Sorry this is so long!)<br /><br />Your friend,<br />Elle (anonymous @ 5:47p)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-47618965290747458122013-04-20T20:08:57.616-04:002013-04-20T20:08:57.616-04:00Hello, my friend. Thanks for these kind words--rea...Hello, my friend. Thanks for these kind words--really. <br /><br />Hmmm. To answer your question, I think I'm more restrained because I feel more true empathy than sympathy. It's hard to explain. It's like, I know what it feels like to be the griever and I know how much silence and . . .just not trying too hard. . .yeah. . .how much that always made me feel peaceful. Too many words, too much heaviness just made me anxious and more upset. It's such a personal walk so being more restrained also gives the person space to be where they're at and gives me time to see what they need from me. If the space is all filled up with words and exaggerated deeds, that may not happen. I don't know. I think I just give people more space, I think. It's not like i'm trying, you know? Something changed in me. I think my eyes and my touch say more now. So my mouth has to say less. <br /><br />I hope this makes sense. I deeply, deeply appreciate you being a part of my community. You are a part of my healing process and I'm glad you read my words and thoughts. gradydoctorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10639816377218206777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-72365412259251329742013-04-20T20:04:32.491-04:002013-04-20T20:04:32.491-04:00For such a time as this. Indeed, my friend.For such a time as this. Indeed, my friend.gradydoctorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10639816377218206777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-19611971738636810022013-04-20T20:04:05.128-04:002013-04-20T20:04:05.128-04:00For what it's worth, Kate, something about the...For what it's worth, Kate, something about the way you've written this comment was both elegant and empathic. I bet you've done more for those patients than you realized.gradydoctorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10639816377218206777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-81297469780680380772013-04-20T17:47:12.429-04:002013-04-20T17:47:12.429-04:00Thank you Dr. Manning...
As one of the many who...Thank you Dr. Manning...<br />As one of the many who've been on this journey with you virtually, I can not tell you how much your sharing about Deanna has blessed me. Thank you for every time you decide to open up your life to us. <br />I'm studying your reactions and thoughts because I want to be there for others, in any way necessary to support anyone who is hurting...<br />You mentioned brilliantly that your experience has given you greater empathy and your emotional reactions have been more reserved...solely for the purpose of understanding, can you give some insight into why your are more reserved? <br />Again, thank you and I will pray for your patient and her family. I'll continue to lift you and your family up in prayer as well. <br />Many many hugs your way:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-45428787939032322542013-04-20T08:36:50.500-04:002013-04-20T08:36:50.500-04:00"Regardless of how much love surrounds them, ..."Regardless of how much love surrounds them, grieving is a very personal thing." I couldn't agree more Kim. Grief, definitely teaches you how to handle another persons pain. Grief extends an advance course in life that no textbook or university professor could ever teach. Glad God strategically placed you in a field, at Grady "for such a time as this", it speaks to the testament that He can surely trust you! Crystalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04442548887759597293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-48760715807203928672013-04-19T22:43:07.352-04:002013-04-19T22:43:07.352-04:00You made me weep.
I've walked into patients&...You made me weep. <br /><br />I've walked into patients' rooms before and have been caught off guard by the spirits of my own lost loved ones. <br /><br />I only wish that I could have expressed my profound empathy for the families as delicately as you did. <br /><br />I'm so sorry that you have to live through that loss.<br /><br />Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12929523388143640833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-65836686236565218662013-04-19T19:12:00.590-04:002013-04-19T19:12:00.590-04:00You know what? This is so, so true. The essentiall...You know what? This is so, so true. The essentially human experiences. Yes, yes, and yes. <br /><br />Love you, too, Sister Moon. gradydoctorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10639816377218206777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-58413437926402018402013-04-19T19:08:23.542-04:002013-04-19T19:08:23.542-04:00It's okay. I know you're pregnant and horm...It's okay. I know you're pregnant and hormonal. :) Thanks for the triple hug. Got it.gradydoctorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10639816377218206777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-58771041488776611052013-04-19T19:07:46.812-04:002013-04-19T19:07:46.812-04:00((receiving those hugs))((receiving those hugs))gradydoctorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10639816377218206777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-66643659998601643982013-04-19T19:06:53.419-04:002013-04-19T19:06:53.419-04:00Thank you, my friends.Thank you, my friends.gradydoctorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10639816377218206777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-48325264317875489212013-04-19T14:14:19.313-04:002013-04-19T14:14:19.313-04:00No it will not be the last time. You know one good...No it will not be the last time. You know one good thing about getting older? We become more and more part of the human race as our experiences become more and more the essentially human experiences. <br />Love you, baby. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-33200769073236541852013-04-19T12:33:27.117-04:002013-04-19T12:33:27.117-04:00And now I'm trying not to weep. ((hug hug hug)...And now I'm trying not to weep. ((hug hug hug))Jameilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02242625946552047911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-20866396030044469632013-04-19T11:19:23.553-04:002013-04-19T11:19:23.553-04:00I love this comment. I agree with it 100%. I love this comment. I agree with it 100%. Alisa Renee'https://www.blogger.com/profile/02239369410305008391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-13512649914884068512013-04-19T11:03:02.302-04:002013-04-19T11:03:02.302-04:00((Hugs))((Hugs))MsJamie14http://twitter.com/MsJamie14noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3245783834297902042.post-87014609389585377252013-04-19T10:54:35.053-04:002013-04-19T10:54:35.053-04:00Your are His hands, His voice, His love in this si...Your are His hands, His voice, His love in this situation. God bless you and your entire staff and your family. Mary Alicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04358080186261021703noreply@blogger.com